Back in the mid-1990s, at the interchange from I-79 N to I-70 W outside of Washington, PA, some tenderhearted nut-lover spray-painted the poignant phrase “Lick Balls” in huge letters on one of the jersey barriers. This phrase has stuck with me lo these many years.
Here is where it would be if it were still there.
Remember that, folks. Lick Balls.
And for some reason, females not only shun them, they don’t even want education on the matter.
shrug
You gay guys need to step it up. Have ball appreciation month and get those females towing the party line.
And for some reason, females not only shun them, they don’t even want education on the matter.
shrug
You gay guys need to step it up. Have ball appreciation month and get those females towing the party line.
Here’s a gay guy tip: Shave those balls. No, don’t shave the rest of your pubes. That makes you look like a little boy. But the balls? Shave 'em. Baby smooth. Carefully of course. You’ll thank me. It increases their sensitivity a lot, and if the lady in your life has any inclination to use a tongue down there, it’ll have been worth it.
Apparently, it’s important enough to say twice.
See, I agree with this. I’m willing to meet in the middle and take a measure to ensure she stays in the Downtown region. I don’t even consider this a gay tip, too. I think (oddly) it’s becoming mainstream. And it’s not even a huge hassle to do.
Then again, if I were a girl, I wouldn’t care. I think I’d be a total slut. I think most guys would if they were female for a week, though.
It’s toeing the party line.
Speaking as a woman (duh), balls are gross. They’re hairy and collect sweat and God alone knows what else. They also flop around in a completely aesthetically unpleasing way.
Robin
I’m a woman, and I get a bit of that feeling too. Everything squeezes up a little like it’s trying to get inside where it’s safe from all the insanity going on. Happens on roller coasters, fast elevators, or when I’m up high and look down.
I learn so much here. And my man just doesn’t get why I love this board. Maybe if I told him I was learning about balls?
That’s OK, but bear in mind temperature issues here.
Under no circumstances fondue should be involved. :eek:
I once followed this good looking girl home, and she gave me this sultry look and said, “Show me your nuts!”
I replied, “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!!” ::waves hands:: 
“Wokka wokka!” ::makes shadow puppets:: “A British Tern is a soaring soul, as free as a mountain biiiiiirrrd . . .”
Needless to say, I didn’t get none that night. :smack:
Tripler
Well, she asked.
Maybe this was a whoosh but I had no idea. None at all. And I have had a pair for over 42 years. If I didn’t have to go into work today, I would check but I’ll have to wait until I get home.
You know, I’ve wondered if astronauts experience this in zero-g. Could explain why certain astronauts are willing to set longevity records for time in orbit. Science my ass. Their balls are just happy.
This is true. Bad Trevor. Bad fingers.
They need chocolate-covered tastebuds.
Tell the boss your nuts are hanging out for science.
Wow! A man without too much time on your hands.
Here’s another thing to do with them and another great reason to be a guy. Put sunglasses on them. Use the penis as the “nose” and the balls as the eyes. Then laugh and laugh and laugh.
You may want to get drunk first.
But don’t try shaving them with a straight edge razor, late at night, after you have had six beers and are looking for something to do to pass the time. It is really a stupid thing to do - uh, so I have heard.
I work in a nursing home, all I have to say is
Dude, appreciate them now, the nice nut-ness WILL end.
yea I am a chick so what. muuuaahhaa
I for one am a little weary–no, a lot weary–about cutting up my balls with sharp objects.
Well, nobody wants you to Jeffrey Dahmer yourself (minus the self-cannibalizing).
It’s just like…getting…go-faster stripes on your…um…dong.
If that’s not the worst analogy ever, that’s a very close second.