May I ask you – if I promise I’m not being even the slightest bit judgmental – if Bipolar 2 Disorder was ‘the asshole’ you pitted back here (at least, as you see it now) ?
I remembered that you posted that.
I’m sick. I had an adverse drug reaction that turned my athletic heart into a fibrotic (scar tissue) stiff bag that doesn’t work well, and isn’t slated to work for that much longer. I’m on borrowed time and my quality of life is nil.
And I had a pretty good life once upon a time.
And maybe the worst thing about watching my life slip away before my eyes … is … knowing that my wife is collateral damage. I can’t help that, and I can’t help her. And I can’t help her feelings of helplessness.
The entire thing just sucks.
I think I manage my emotions pretty well, but – because I’m not really battling mental illness – I can. I’m very glad for that.
And I’m glad for that because I can’t imagine putting my wife through more than the fact of my illness puts her through.
All of this is my way of saying … I’m so powerfully sorry. I hope they find a treatment regimen that either brings your beloved back to you as you remember her, or – at the very least – leaves you somebody that you find awfully damned charming and with whom you can live far more easily.
All the best to you both/all.