Thanks for the well-wishes, all.
We certainly hope so. We won’t be able to force M&M to include us in their baby’s life, but we’ve let them know we’d like to be, and they’ve expressed that they want the same. It’ll be up to them if they eventually want their child to know what my wife’s role was, but for the time being she’s basically have the “Aunt Linda” honorific.
Shouldn’t be a problem – Shayla is only 18 months right now (<checks calendar> – hey, she’s 18 months today! Happy year-and-a-half, kiddo!) She’ll realize that mommy’s belly is getting bigger, but won’t understand the how’s and why’s of it all. When the time comes we’ll explain that mommy had a baby in her belly, but that she was just growing it for Uncle M&M.
Well, it’s not sunshine and roses every second of every day, but overall, yeah, she loved it.
[QUOTE=mansard]
I guess this is nice for you. I personally hope it doesn’t encourge others to avoid the obvious - adopting orphans.
[/QUOTE]
As SCL noted, many places won’t adopt out to a gay couple. However, that’s not the reasoning here. Yes, adopting orphans is a wonderful thing to do. But to our way of thinking, M&M have the right to have a biological child just like any other couple in the world. And besides, in many cases people stay on waiting lists for years waiting for a child. Many of those adoptive parents turn to surrogacy because they can’t wait on adoption any more.
[QUOTE=nevermore]
I’m sure this is a stupid question, but… she had two embryos transferred as kind of a safety net, right? Not so that they could have twins? (would that even work..?)
[/quote]
Correct – they went with two embryos to double their chances to one of them taking hold. There was certainly the chance of both of them implanting, but even with two embryos the pregnancy rate is only 47%. So we’re not talking twins being impossible, just a little bit unlikely.
Of course, my wife is very active on a surrogacy message board, and we’ve seen many examples of things going…ummm…not quite the way you would expect. For example, they have two separate instances going on right now where a carrier had two embryos transferred, and they each wound up carrying quadruplets! You would think two sets of twins, but in both cases it was one singleton and one set of triplets.
The clinic we’re using generally transfers three embryos, but we made it clear from that start that M&M could have as many embryos transferred as they liked – however, they had to be prepared to take home as many children as embryos transferred. If all three took, then they’d have triplets. We refused to do what is known as selective reduction – transferring, say, three embryos and terminating one or two if they all take.
[QUOTE=harmless]
If I ever decide I want a kid, could I get you guys to be a surrogate for me? Just for the first 8 years or so? I think I might be able to handle it then. 
[/QUOTE]
I’m tempted to say “Anything for you, harmy!”, but then you might take us up on it. 
Thanks again for all the kind words. Any other questions, feel free to fire away. I have no problem with making this an “Ask The (Husband Of A) Gestational Carrier” thread.
