Can anyone come up with a film character that’s cheating on his or her spouse and is presented as a sympathetic character – one that the audience is encouraged to admire or root for?
I’d ask that we exclude characters that are cheating only after discovering that their spouse was cheating first…
In Before Sunset,
Jesse (Ethan Hawke) is presented as having kids and a wife, the latter with whom he has no spark at all (according to him). He meets up with Celine (Julie Delpy) again (after not having seen her for 9 years), they hang out and realize that they both still have strong feelings for each other, and it’s implied by the end that he will miss his flight home to stay with her. The film is presented in such a way that you are definitely rooting for the pair, despite the fact that they both have a spouse/boyfriend.
The first thing that came to mind was “Finding Neverland.” Johnny Depp plays the author of Peter Pan, who is married to someone else, and strikes up a ‘romantic friendship’ with Sylvia Llewelyn Davies (Kate Winslet).
I would consider that cheating, even though technically nothing happens in a sexual way between the two (as far as I remember) as the wife is clearly unhappy with the situation. I had a very hard time sympathizing with his character because of this, although I am fairly sure that was the intention.
The wife in The Bridges of Madison County. Her affair was very brief and was presented as her way of coping, for the rest of her life, with her fairly dreary and unfulfilling roles as wife and mother… and finally widow.
I can think of LOADS of sympathetic adulteresses, but not many sympathetic male adulterers.
I mean, some movies turn husbands into caricatures so contemptible that only a heartless fiend could object to their spouses having affairs. Think of Richard Benjamin in “Diary of a Mad Housewife,” a jerk who exists for no other reason but to make Carrie Snodgress’ affair look justified.
When Jeff Daniels cheats on Debra Winger in “Terms of Endearment,” he’s an asshole and our sympathy is supposed to lie entirely with her. Of course, when she has an affair of her own, our sympathy is STILL supposed to lie with her.
Holly Hunter is presented as heroic for cheating on her husband in “The Piano,” and he’s made to look evil for being angry about it.
How about William Shakespeare in “Shakespeare in Love?”
Nicholas Cage in It Could Happen to You, though I don’t recall if his relationship with Bridget Fonda was sexual until after his divorce. But he’s clearly leaving his wife for her.
And, going back, there is The Scarlet Letter, which has been filmed at least a dozen times.
I leapt into this thread to talk about The Horse Whisperer. It’s been a while since I read it, but here’s what I remember.
In it, the woman is married to her husband of however many years, but the passion is gone, or some such thing. Anyway she takes her daughter to a horse camp after an accident. She meets the horse whisperer there. On one side you’ve got the plot of the girl learning to live through horses. On the other hand you have this despicable woman falling in love with the horse whisperer and lying through her teeth through her husband. And she is definitely supposed to be the sympathetic one, after all her daughter is in trouble and it’s spoken almost entirely from her and her daughter’s POV. I felt so bad for her husband.
Let me tell you, it pissed me off sooooooo much. Adultery is perfectly OK in these books, and even encouraged - for women. Not getting along with your husband? Go right ahead, sleep with anybody. It’s empowerment or some crap. But a man? Lying cheating bastard is what he is.
Yeah, I take it personally. :mad: Grr.
I was trying to think of another which annoyed me. I’ll come back with it in a bit.
The protagonists of Cousins were involved in an affair, although IIRC the justification was that their spouses were as well. It’s been a long while since I saw it, though.
I’ve always liked Gene Hackman’s line in the firm, when he’s talking about his infidelity, and someone feeds him the “your wife doesn’t understand you” line. His response is “No, she understands me too well.” Or something to that effect.
Aren’t both the leads in Brokeback Mountain married?
Ooo, touche, and you found one that creates sympathy in me, too. Double standard, see it in the reflection! But I do feel they had less opportunity to actually carry on the lifestyle they wanted.
Ethan Frome in Ethan Frome.
I thought that the relationship started before they got married. But, then again, I didn’t watch the whole thing- I didn’t see what the big deal about the movie was. They jumped each others bones a little too quickly- seemed forced. The scenery was nice, tho.
In Serendipity, both John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale go on a wild goose chase trying to find each other even though both are engaged to other people. Even though nothing physical happens, neither is exactly honest with their significant others. It’s totally ridiculous and it would have saved everyone a lot of time and energy if they had just exchanged phone numbers when they first met.
Yes, they were involved before the marriage. And they didn’t just jump each other’s bones, it was
almost rape, for godsakes! fell just short of it
Does Indecent Proposal count? Then again, she wasn’t exactly lauded for doing it, even though he agreed (didn’t he? I can’t remember).
Michael Douglas in “Basic Instinct” has a one night fling with a colleague. The ensuing stalking, and mayhem turn him into a sympathetic character that both males and females, I believe, genuinely feel empathy for.
Did you mean Fatal Attraction? Some women might say Michael Douglas got exactly what he had coming. 
Brief Encounter? There was definitely emotional adultery (at least) going on, but both leads managed to be fairly sympathetic.
the pair are more sympathetic because they do decide to break it off and go back to their families, even though they are in love, as they see it is the right thing to do. It also stresses throughout the film the effect the affair is having on both them and those they know.
The English Patient, well not him but she is Okie-dokey about cheating on her hubby with Ralph Fines.
I haven’t seen either one, but could you be thinking of Fatal Attraction?
If I’m right, don’t forget the bunnies. Glenn Close really lost the bunny audience in that one.