You are not alone, and Ian is not forgotten. I pray for you and your wife, and your son’s soul, every week.
I second the idea of a support group. You need physically present people who won’t brush off your continuing grief.
Bless you.
It’s always heartbreaking to think about you going through this. My mother was asking about you the other day, too, by the way. She was pretty concerned after you spoke with her, and wants you to know that you’re in her prayers. My thoughts are with you, as well.
I hope the skies clear soon for you.
{{{TokyoPlayer and wife}}}.
Best wishes, TokyoPlayer.
As you can see, there are a whole lot of us who often think of you, your wife and Ian.
Please keep us updated on how you’re doing.
GT
Ian is the name of my younger nephew. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if something happened to him, and I didn’t even bear him, or any other children. So I can’t possibly understand the depths of the feelings you are having.
But I remember that you said, when you knew your child would not have long, that your wife was apprehensive you might divorce her. A cultural thing apparently. And how you then went to great pains to let her know that nothing of the sort was going to happen, how you still loved her no matter what.
A guy like that is one I wish I could have been lucky enough to find. If you feel alone remember that all of us here have read the touching things you have said, and will hold you in our hearts now that we know you are hurting. I will keep you and the wife in my thoughts and prayers.
While you aren’t alone, I know how it is to feel as if you are anyway. I’m sorry you are feeling so dark and alone these days. You are doing the right thing in treating your symptoms and carrying on, and trusting your wife to help you as she can. Thinking of you both.
I am so, so sorry. I wish there were something I or any other person could do to ease your pain. Remember that you are loved, that you are cherished, and that you are worthy. Remember that we are here for you.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss and I hope that you and your wife are able to get through these trying times. Things always work out in mysterious ways so you never know what will pop up around the corner.
{{{TokyoPlayer and wife}}}
Thank you everyone for your support, except for LOUNE. Talk about kicking a man when he’s down. 
BBS Thanks for asking. I’ve been without a drink for 18 days now. Unless I can learn better how to stop, then I’m down to 10,972 days remaining. (Assuming an average lifetime.) People say it gets easier with time.
For clarification, my wife is on stick for taking the temperate, not for participating in nocturnal activities, which we still enjoy very much.
I’m feeling better today. We have a birthday party for Ian last night. I brought the cake and my wife got a present.
It was kind of a perfect storm for depression. My counselor was gone for 6 weeks and my company did something I’m really, really unhappy with, (but can’t talk about specifics) at the same time I was dealing with the shit going on in Salt Lake and coming to grips with the drinking issue.
Also, my nature is to take care of others, and I really worked hard at taking care of my wife through this last year and several months. She’s finally getting better, and I think my psyche said it was time to take care of myself.
My counselor is finally back. I’m dealing with issues from the past which I need to. See the Pit thread if you’re interested.
Something which really helped was I read the thread about the Hero Rats, watched the video and checked out their website. I’m going to contact them and see if I can be of assistance. Nothing like seeing people who are in real need to regain perspective of your problems.
I’ve got a great wife and we dearly love each other. I’ve got good health, money in the bank and great friends. You just can’t stay down too long with all of that.
Even if you have to put up with Dopers.
I was a miracle (as well as being declared a tumor and almost getting scraped off), born from a sterile woman and made during a time when they’d been taking a break from the temperature method on medical orders. Middlebro was proof that I hadn’t been a miracle after all, and made during a time when my parents weren’t bothering with birth control since “she couldn’t have kids” but also not trying because, well, “she couldn’t have kids”. Littlebro came when my parents were actively trying not to have number 3 (temperature again), since they’d already realized she very much could have kids.
If you’re “doing what married people do” and if a child is due, it will come. Adding process control to sex sounds like something that would make me too tense for sex, really. Maybe your wife just feels the same way.
My aunt delivered a stillborn daughter, but I was very young so didn’t get much in the way of an explanation. All I knew was that one day she was hugely pregnant, the next she wasn’t and nobody would tell me anything. A couple of years later, she had another daughter who lasted a few hours and this time I got an explanation, although certainly not much of a technical one… “Ana María was a little slice of Heaven, she had to go back.” Poo-Chan had to go back 
Aunt has three children.
Hugs and peaceful vibes heading your way, my friend.