I just got back from 2 weeks in Guernsey, a holiday I won earlier in the year courtesy of my car insurance company…the bastards.
The hotel was meh, the food was double meh, the fucking bed I had to sleep in was the smallest single bed since the creation of crow shit.
I took my pal with me and he’s a rather lanky bugger, he slept on the sofa for 12 nights as he fell out of bed the first 2 nights when he turned over.
The bath was designed to accomodate pygmies or should I say ONE pygmy.
The shower ran hot for about 5 mins then ran at -15 for the rest of the day.
To top it all it was, according to locals, the worst summer since 1916, 4 fairly decent days of a bit of sunshine, the rest of the time it either pissed down or was blowing a gale…in Guernsey when it rains there is fuck all to do other than get totally shit faced which I have to confess I did on more than one occasion.
Food was so frigging expensive it was unbelievable…a crab salad for one was around £50 and you really don’t wanna know how much lobster was.
6 oysters £12:eek: and fucking small oysters at that.
It’s safe to say that without the spending money I got with the holiday I would probably have eaten egg and chips for the whole of the stay.
You shoulda done what I did the last time I was in Guernsey - get down the chippie and buy batter scraps for 1p a bag. I lived off them for about three days until I puked.
(Mind you, that was in 1977.)
I also got swept out to sea in a rowing boat and had to be towed back in by a passing fisherman.
I was in Guernsey last week too. I had a great time. Spent three days on Herm and three days on Guernsey. Saturday was lovely and sunny all day, remember? And even when it was overcast it wasn’t that cold, so I went swimming lots - the sea was pretty warm.*
Also we were with my in-laws, and they took us out for lots of nice meals, including a very fine dinner at La Frégate. I had a nice glass of Veuve Clicquot as an aperitif, then a chicken and lemongrass broth followed by grilled bream with crab, all washed down with a very passable Pouilly Fumé, followed by a mocha bavarois for dessert. And dad-in-law picked up the tab.
Just thought I’d tell you, to make your holiday seem more shit by comparison.
I can think of a few northern Wisconsin areas that sound just like your trip. My last vacation was up there and that was the trip to hell. Floods, tornadoes, rain and a cold front, in all the surrounding counties. We had to pick our way back through toppled old growth pine forest that was a broken mat, with an ATV in tow that decided to destroy the clutch just before the tornado started bringing down the trees. The area next to it had been logged, so we were having to go off the trail into the logging debris. It took us an hour per mile to get through that section. There were missing tourist after the storm, that they hadn’t found by the time we went home half a week later. That was the year that the waitress wouldn’t take our money until her show was over on the television. I know I typed that restaurant visit up on this board a few years ago. You do not want to visit anything in the northern third of Wisconsin, unless you stay near one of the large towns like Superior or Ashland. Hayward would be OK too.
Seriously, Guernsey is nothing like that. Chowder must have been extremely unlucky in where he was put up, because it has some really wonderful restaurants and hotels, and beautiful beaches. The weather’s usually pretty good, too. One of my favourite “close to home” destinations. I was staying five minutes’ walk from this beach. The water is crystal clear and great for swimming.
We arrived Sunday Aug 24th and that day it was pretty fine, warm and sunny.
On the Monday we went to Herm and it was so-so, on Tuesday we went to Sark and it was grim with an uppercase G.
Wednesday through Friday was wank in my opinion…as was the following week with the possible exception of Wednesday, the rest of the time it either bucketed down or was bloody cold (I am 66 yannow, I feel it in my bones:p)
On the good side: I thought the Guernsey Tapestry was absolutely wonderful as were the displays in the Guernsey Museum and all of the Occupation Museums.
Saumarez Manor was pretty impressive but Castle Cornet really takes top prize although that 12 o’clock gun almost made me crap myself, wasn’t expecting such a loud report.
The numerous displays in the castle were amazing with much attention being paid to detail, well worth an old codgers price of admission.
Another thing that impressed me was the frequency of buses and the cost, 60p for a complete tour of the island on the number 7 or 7a.
We tended to eat mainly at “Dix Neuf” in St. Peter Port. A damn fine restaurant, fairly pricey but ample portions. I can also recommend The White Hart also in St. Peter Port, great steaks and scampi.
Steer clear of The Moorings, steak like old boot leather, surley waitresses and a thoroughly miserable oik of an owner
Chippie = fish and chip shop. The fish is dipped in batter and deep fried. Repeat over and over again with different pieces of fish (or sausage or burger, etc.).
At the end of the day, get a small metal net on a pole, and trawl it through the fat, and hoik out any of the bits of batter that have been shed by the food.
Place the bits you scoop out into a paper bag, then sell to small children for 1p until they puke.
It reminds me of the people 40 years back that sopped up all the cooking fat into a slice of bread and ate it. They’re all dead from heart failure, so I don’t see it anymore.
Do you mean like ‘bread and dripping’? I asked my Nan about that and the next time she made roast beef she made me some - it was really awesome, like beef foi gras with beef jus in it. Not ideal for the old ticker but bloomin’ nice none the less!
Re: Guernsey: My Dad used to go there once a year on his friends boat but I was always put into kennels (my Nan’s - she lived on ‘Kennel Lane’ and fed me beef dripping like a dog) presumabley because the cost of paying for me to eat over there would have required a second mortgage. I am now counting my lucky stars although still not convinced it could be worse than a week in Bracknell?
Bear in mind, too, that back then this wasn’t polyunsaturated vegetable fat or anything like that - this was pure melted-down animal, usually cow, and possibly containing tallow. You know, the waxy stuff that they used to make candles out of.
There’s nothing wrong with scraps. I wasn’t introduced to them until the age of 17 when I went “up north” to university. You could get a paper bag of scraps for 5p (or free if the nice lady was serving in the chippie).
