Mystery Tissue Paper

I’ll be the first to admit I have the stylistic sensabilities of a goat, so maybe I’m missing something here. Anyways, I received three wedding invitations in the past week. All three came in an envelope in the mail which contained–another envelope. That envelope contained, a wedding invitation, an invitation to the reception, an RSVP card, a self adressed envelope for the RSVP card and a piece of Mystery Tissue Paper. Since this is clearly not an isolated case, it brings uip two questions–

  1. Should we stop worrying about disposable diapers as a major cause of landfill useage and start focusing on wedding invitations?

  2. What is the purpose of the Mystery Tissue Paper?

Jim Petty
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At a guess, I would think that the Mystery Tissue Paper was there to prevent the Terribly Expensive Ink from smudging the other side of the Extremely Pretentious Wedding Invitation. It’s probably an etiquette artifact from another era.

I think a prolonged education campaign focusing on the waste generated by the average wedding would be an excellent idea. Everyone, the next time you get a hideously wasteful invitation such as the one poor Jimpy received, make your wedding gift a "donation in the name of ______ " to Greenpeace or the Sierra Club or some other environmental organization. The recipient probably won’t “get it”, but at least you’ll feel better.

My nephew (one of the three invitations) probably would “get it” and kind of like the idea, although I thik he’d rather have microwave. I have sever doubts about the other two.

Jim Petty
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Apparently I’m suffering from Extreme Spelling Disorder (ESD) today–see above.

Jim Petty
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Then again, I’m sure a single copy of my Sunday newspaper represents more wasted paper than the sum total of every wedding invitation I have or will ever receive in my lifetime.

“For what a man had rather were true, he more readily believes” - Francis Bacon

This is also the case with limited edition books, apparenty to protect the color plates from the black ink of the text. It’s very annoying when they fall out while you’re reading, yet I’m hesitant to throw them away. Seems to me that if they are that important they should be bound with the rest of the pages.

Yes, a prolonged education campaign focusing on waste is an excellent idea.

I suggest we print up a couple of hundred thousand pamphlets and have them inserted in the Sunday paper.

Hey, wait a minute…

“A friend will help you move house. A best friend will help you move a body.”–Alexi Sayle

Now that you mention it, I have a couple of limited edition books that heve the paper bound in the books, though none with the paper just in the book.

Jim Petty
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My cousin’s graduation invitations also had a sheet of that tissue paper, and another very useless item: his name printed on a tiny card. Having gone to The Private School From Hell, I never had the invitation experiance myself. What are those cards actually for?

The cards with your names printed on them are like momentos. Senior Memory Books come with several pages of slots to collect the cards bearing the names of each of your friends. I guess it’s kind of silly, but I think it’s also kind of neat to look back ten years from now at all my friend’s names printed on neat little cards in that pretty gold script.

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
– Henry David Thoreau

I thought those cards were a PC way of saying “I am no longer a student and am now officially counted in the unemployment stats, here’s my card.”

Most of the graduation announcements (high school, anyway), don’t have the student’s name on the actual announcement. That’s why the card is there.

I once worked as a wedding consultant, (from wedding consultant to concrete factory worker, let me tell you I’ve had a wacky career path.) and from my experience, there is no real reason for the paper. The ink is bound to the paper with heat (I think that it’s called thermography or something) so the ink transfer doesn’t seem likely. The customer orders them out of a catalog in the store and specifies the text. When the invitations arrive in the store a week or two later, they are stuffed flat into a box. It seems that if the ink was going to smudge, that would be the time, not in the envelope.

I don’t recall the paper ever being an option to order with the invitations, they just mysteriously appeared in some sets and not others. Weird.

I, too, am baffled by the presence of the Mystery Tissue Paper (MTP). When I recieved my high school diploma, it was in a leather folder with a peice of MTP between the diploma (which was behind a hard plastic surface) and the other side of the folder, which was blank. I, personally, think that it’s some kind of foo-foo throwback of Miss Manners.

“Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true” -Albert Einstein

Dear Miss Manners,

I face a rather embarrassing dilemma. I received a wedding invitation from a dear friend of mine whom I have not seen since college. It came in an envelope which contained the wedding invitation, an invitation to the reception, an RSVP card with a self addressed envelope, and a piece of Mystery Tissue Paper.

I don’t know what I am supposed to do with the Mystery Tissue Paper. Should I include it in the envelope with the RSVP, with a note saying “Sorry, you sent me an extra piece of Mystery Tissue Paper and I don’t know what to do with it”? Or should I save it for the day when I have to send my own wedding invitations out?

Gentle Reader,
     It may be true that you have a dilemma on your hands, but Miss Manners may be so bold as to point out that what you have probably received is a piece of Mystery Tracing Paper, not Mystery Toilet Paper. While Miss Manners may not be entirely sure what proper etiquette should be practiced on your part regarding the Mystery Tracing Paper which you have received from your friend, she might suggest that there could be only one use for Mystery Toilet Paper, which would involve wiping your Mystery Ass.

Whoops- goddammit! that was Mystery Tissue Paper, not Mystery Toilet Paper… ah, hell with it.
Miss Manners