Hey there, third-party environmentalists! I just thought you’d like to see who your new Secretary of Interior is going to be:
Gale first cut her teeth working for Mountain States Legal Foundation, where she litigated against the EPA. Then, she followed her boss, James Watt, to Interior, where she became an associate solicitor. You remember James Watt, don’t you? I know, my memory is a little foggy, too. There was something about his being named “Public Enemy No. 1” by a coalition of environmental groups way back in the eighties, but I think that was all smoothed over when Watt called Indian tribes great examples of failed socialism. Anyway, Norton is being called a “protegee” of Watt, so you know that must mean something good for the environment!
Then she went on to become Attorney General of Colorado. While there, she helped found The Coalition of Republican Environmental Advocates, an environmental group! It had lots of great members, like Rep. Richard Pombo, who is just great on environmental issues–except for opposing the Endangered Species Act; and Rep. Helen Chenoweth–you know, the one who joked that she didn’t worry about salmon because she could always pick up a can of it at the supermarket? Funny! Trent Lott, a staunch environmental advocate, was part of CREA, too.
Some people called CREA a “greenscam,” a group masquerading as an environmental group whose mission was actually the relaxation of environmental laws and regulations, but what do they know?
Today, Ms. Norton mentioned that it was her intention to open up federal land in Alaska for oil exploration, which should make oil executives lots and lots of money which will eventually trickle back down to environmental protection efforts. And Norton is a big, big fan of “property rights,” so we can expect all the federal buffer-land around our national parks to go back to being hunting grounds and cow pastures. Cow poop is great for growing things, you know.
Anyway, I just wanted all you folks out there who supported Nader in the past election to know that your vote wasn’t wasted. Under the Shrub Administration, America will stay green, if they have to spray-paint it to keep it that way!