::cautiously approaches lectern, gathers his courage, and speaks to the Teeming Millions::
Hello. Let me introduce myself. My name is algernon… and I am a newbie.
I feel a little exposed, hence the title of this OP (plus of course the attention getting aspect of the word “naked”), for newbies seem to be looked upon with a certain amount of skepticism and disdain. Low posters in general often seem to generate a cold sneers, as if the post count is a leading indicator of intelligence or ability to contribute. To be fair however, I’ve also seen courteous warm welcomes extended to newbies. Yet I still feel like I’m a stranger attending a cocktail party where everyone already knows one another.
First, a bow of admiring appreciation to all you out there (well, all of you but you… and you know who you are)… as a group you are intelligent, witty, thoughtful, engaging, and entertaining… which is all a bit intimidating to a mere mortal like me.
What leads me to these attributions? As I think you would describe it, I’ve lurked within this space for a couple of years. I start every day with my daily dose of Calvin and Hobbes and the Straight Dope. I personally feel that lurking seems a little too sinister of a term for what I’ve been doing, but nonetheless, it’s a term you all seem to understand.
Being a newbie, I’m a little afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes don’t seem to be tolerated very well, but here goes…
I actually have three questions that I think are appropriate for this Forum.
[li] I can’t figure out how to modify the font or fontsize, or how to do other non-trivial text tricks. Can someone please direct me?[/li][li] Reading about BANNED members, I think I understand what a “sock puppet” is, and this was originally going to be a question asking what “trolling” was, but that has now been answered, so my real question becomes “would my gently misleading title be classified as trolling?”[/li][li] And I also think I understand the term “hijack”… but could someone please clarify it for me?[/li][/ul]
And one more question which may be more appropriate for the IMHO or MPSIMS Forums, but here goes anyway… (mods, please be gentle with me)
[li]Where do you people find the time to do all this posting??? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not accusing you of not having a life, but heck… don’t you have a life? I have a more-than-full-time job, and time consuming kids, and a house and spouse to maintain, etc. A mere peek into the SDMB and I get pulled into time-sucking vortex. When I get spewed back out, I often find an hour or more has passed. And this was before I was a member! I shudder at the possible consequences of actually having the ability to post replies. Are there time-saving tips anyone has to keep up with all the interesting threads, so that I don’t become addicted, lose my job, and end up as a broken down street beggar?[/li][/ul]
Lastly, I’d like to give public thanks to TubaDiva for her incredibly responsive and helpful email answers to the questions I had prior to officially becoming a doper.
To the rest of the Teeming Millions, I feel honored to be a member… I will try to not disappoint you.
::humbly takes his seat and anxiously awaits a response::