[QUOTE=Hilarity N. Suze]
The thing about some of these people with odd names is that they are bad people.
[/QUOTE]
But isn’t that the thing about people with common names as well? Why you think poor behavior is related to having an uncommon name in light of the countless people with common names walking around behaving badly?
[QUOTE=tremorviolet]
So they should just totally ignore THEIR heritage in order to conform? Foreign born parents used to do this all the time; they’d pick an American name so their kids wouldn’t get discriminated against. I think that’s a sad situation.
[/QUOTE]
And I think that’s a good example of people trying to fit into the society they live in. Whereas the people whose kids have blatantly ethnic names are challenging that.
Now, either one is okay with me. But I can see kids changing their names, in either case, to reflect their own values should those values happen to be different from their parents’.
Snippy people with unconventional names do tend to stand out, to the exclusion of similarly snippy people named Pam and Sally and Sharon. We just don’t remember the bitches with the common names.
My favorite former co-worker was Deirdre, pronounced Dee-AH-dray, “just like it sounds”, she’d say, only it wasn’t just like it sounds. Stupid bitch.
[QUOTE=Hilarity N. Suze]
And I think that’s a good example of people trying to fit into the society they live in. Whereas the people whose kids have blatantly ethnic names are challenging that.
[/quote]
I know what you mean. I have siblings named Rachel and Jacob. Those stupid siblings of mine, carrying Hebrew names around like they mean something. Don’t they know people might think they’re a couple of Jews with names like those?
I wish some people would give us time to have our names become traditional. Some of the made up names are made up because as a young culture, (black Americans descended from slaves), we don’t know what our ancestors’ name are! We really were stripped of our identities, and we kinda had to start fresh. 1000 years from now, Keisha will be a proper traditional name.
My dad named me an African name. Shatda. Pronounced Sha-hot-da. A West African co-worker of his gave him the name. No one ever said the name right growing up, but I learned to straighten my back and speak up to my teachers. I corrected them, and they learned to say my name correctly.
At work, I use my middle name because my customers remember it better, and it helps me keep my sales. It is no big deal for me to switch up. I just go ahead and switch back and forth at will.
With all that being said, I will grudgingly admit that TaQuannaeyas and Quasheanas and the like irritate me. I get actually angry when the parent spells it crazy for no damn reason, and has no meaning in mind when choosing the name. None of my biz, but it irks me.
Also, I make judgments on Amber Lynns and Tammy Lynns too. I shouldn’t, and I am often quickly proven wrong, but sometimes, I still do it.
One more thing. In the thread the OP linked to…one of the names he mentioned…Aqualeefa. I call bullshit!
I have heard this crap before. It is an urban legend…people claiming they know a black girl named Aquanetta, or something similar…so named because the ignorant black mother thought it sounded pretty. I have heard every crazy name in the book, and I’m talkin’ kids named after drinks, cars, morphed hybrids of the mom and dad’s names, but I have not met a single Aqualeefa, Aquanetta, or any other variation of that nonsense.
[QUOTE=delphica]
But isn’t that the thing about people with common names as well? Why you think poor behavior is related to having an uncommon name in light of the countless people with common names walking around behaving badly?
[/QUOTE]
The people with the odd names stand out. Whatever they do–good or bad. In my experience, it’s been bad.
[QUOTE=Nzinga, Seated]
I have heard this crap before. It is an urban legend…people claiming they know a black girl named Aquanetta, or something similar…so named because the ignorant black mother thought it sounded pretty. I have heard every crazy name in the book, and I’m talkin’ kids named after drinks, cars, morphed hybrids of the mom and dad’s names, but I have not met a single Aqualeefa, Aquanetta, or any other variation of that nonsense.
[/QUOTE]
Aquanetta is not an urban legend. I have known two. One born sometime in the early '60s, one born sometime in the mid-80s. The 60s Aquanetta was not black.
[QUOTE=monstro]
I know what you mean. I have siblings named Rachel and Jacob. Those stupid siblings of mine, carrying Hebrew names around like they mean something. Don’t they know people might think they’re a couple of Jews with names like those?
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“Rachel” and “Jacob” are pretty mainstream. But what if they were named “Maryam” and “Moishe”? Then, yeah, my assumption would be that they were JEwish.
[QUOTE=Hilarity N. Suze]
Aquanetta is not an urban legend. I have known two. One born sometime in the early '60s, one born sometime in the mid-80s. The 60s Aquanetta was not black.
[/QUOTE]
Thank you. I stand corrected.
Google backs you up, by the way.
Do think names with a 3[sup]rd[/sup] or 4[sup]th[/sup] on the end of it might indicate someone who might have a shitty personality because of a sense of entitlement? What about a “rich” name, like Herbert Eddington Bodsworthy or some such?
[QUOTE=Hilarity N. Suze]
“Rachel” and “Jacob” are pretty mainstream. But what if they were named “Maryam” and “Moishe”? Then, yeah, my assumption would be that they were JEwish.
[/QUOTE]
And is that so bad? Why is that a bad thing, unless you’re an anti-Semite?
There have always been names that would identify you as black. It’s just that they used to be names like Julius, or Marcus, or Darius. How far do parents have to go to accommodate the prejudice of people twenty years in the future?
[QUOTE=monstro]
And is that so bad? Why is that a bad thing, unless you’re an anti-Semite?
[/QUOTE]
Wait, did I say it was a bad thing?
[QUOTE=BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed]
Do think names with a 3[sup]rd[/sup] or 4[sup]th[/sup] on the end of it might indicate someone who might have a shitty personality because of a sense of entitlement? What about a “rich” name, like Herbert Eddington Bodsworthy or some such?
[/QUOTE]
I know a 3rd and he’s a nice guy. Why wouldn’t he be?
I also know a lot of “juniors”. It’s irrational to assume they would be any different than anyone else.
[QUOTE=AuntiePam]
Snippy people with unconventional names do tend to stand out, to the exclusion of similarly snippy people named Pam and Sally and Sharon. We just don’t remember the bitches with the common names.
My favorite former co-worker was Deirdre, pronounced Dee-AH-dray, “just like it sounds”, she’d say, only it wasn’t just like it sounds. Stupid bitch.
[/QUOTE]
Oh my god. I hate Deirdre. The name, I mean.
I once worked with two people who both had the name. One of them put the pronunciation on a tag next to her nametag (on her desk) and it was “DEE dree.” The other one pronounced it differently–more like, but not exactly like, the one you listed.
I managed never to pronounce either name. Out of fear I would have got it wrong in all cases.
I also had a coworker named “Sheila” whose mother wanted to spell it as “Shelagh” (or something like that) but who felt lucky that her father talked her out of it. Lots of people get it wrong in any case. (“Shelia.”)
When you wrote:
I’m inferring that you think people who choose ethnic names are NOT trying to fit in society, which of course would be a bad thing. Perhaps that’s not what you meant, but that sounds like what you’re saying. Especially since you say:
[QUOTE=monstro]
When you wrote:
I’m inferring that you think people who choose ethnic names are NOT trying to fit in society, which of course would be a bad thing. Perhaps that’s not what you meant, but that sounds like what you’re saying. Especially since you say:
[/QUOTE]
Okay, but that’s two different things I was talking about.
I do think people (in America, who live in cities) who choose ethnic names are not trying to fit into society. People who live in tribes make the same choice, because they are trying to fit into society, if you see what I mean.
The other quote, about how they have to prove themselves, applies to a different kind of name.
I did know a woman who might have been joshing me, but she said she changed her name from Bambi to Carol before she went to law school. (I always knew her as Carol.) If she wasn’t kidding, I think she made a good choice, what do you think?
[QUOTE=Hilarity N. Suze]
I also had a coworker named “Sheila” whose mother wanted to spell it as “Shelagh” (or something like that) but who felt lucky that her father talked her out of it. Lots of people get it wrong in any case. (“Shelia.”)
[/QUOTE]
My former SIL has this name, but spelled it “Shiela.” She insisted that it was the correct way to spell it, and everyone else was wrong. Of course, she’d get incredibly pissed off when people spelled her name ‘wrong,’ i.e., the traditional way.
[QUOTE=Hilarity N. Suze]
Okay, but that’s two different things I was talking about.
I do think people (in America, who live in cities) who choose ethnic names are not trying to fit into society. People who live in tribes make the same choice, because they are trying to fit into society, if you see what I mean.
[/quote]
It’s interesting that you focus on cities. I grew up in Atlanta, GA, which is a predominately black town. I grew up in a black neighborhood, attended a black church, had black friends (and of course family), and attended schools with a large black population (though not always the majority). It’s quite possible to only rarely encounter a white person if you live in Atlanta.
If my parents had chosen to call “Keisha”, they would have been conforming to the society around them. Maybe it’s not your particular society, but it seems unfair for you to demand people fit in your “mainstream” with nary a concern for what’s mainstream for them.
I think it was a good choice as well. But I wouldn’t think any less of her if she decided she liked her name. And I wouldn’t let my prejudice of her name affect how I related to her.
Obviously name discrimination, in its most common American form, is an indirect form of racism. So name discrimination is ok only if racism is ok.
Personally, I’ve noticed that when I call a company or government agency, if the customer service representative has a name like “Tamika” or “Shaniqua,” I tend to get bad service.
Anyway, discrimination is rampant in the United States. For example, a woman I know who runs a small business told me last month that she doesn’t hire blacks, period. Apparently this is legal because her company isn’t large enough to be covered by the civil rights laws. If somebody sends her a resume with a black sounding name on it, she probably throws it right in the trash.
Is that ok? Probably not. At some point there is a line between private activities and public.