I’m not against Indian names at all - I just remember what it was like to be seven and have a clearly “ethnic” name. Well, that’s not true, but I remember what it was like for my brother.
Re Lucas: Indian Christians often take “Western” names, for reasons I don’t fully understand, which are usually biblical but not always.
Kim’s great-grandfather’s name was Mallick - pronounced more or less as spelled - which is apparently not uncommon in Sweden, and she suggested that a while ago. It’s also a word and name in Arabic (although it would be transliterated as something more like Malik) and via the Mughals became a fairly common surname (never heard it as a first name) among Hindus in northern India. So that’s a possibility, although we’d have to settle on a spelling.
I can’t find any evidence of Swedish people named Mallick, though. Just lots of Irish people with that surname.
It makes sense that she gets a big say in the first name since you get both the middle and the last. I made a similar deal with my wife. She got the first name, and I got the middle and last.
As for “Van,” I foresee a couple problems. First of all, he’s going to hear this joke approximately 25,000 times in his life:
Van AllThatBright: My name’s Van.
Douchebag: Van, huh? Did your parents name you after where you were conceived?
VA: Never heard that one before.
DB: If this van’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’!
VA: [aside] Damn my foolish parents!
Plus, if he is short in stature, people will call him “Mini-Van.” On the plus side of the ledger, if he kicks the aforementioned people’s asses, he’ll get the nickname “Van Damme” (or “Van Damn!” if you prefer).
I like it. It’s different but still pronounceable, and I love the nickname Mal (Malcolm is on our short list for boys for this reason). I think with the Malik spelling people will tend to prounce it ma-LEEK - which isn’t bad, but I don’t think it’s how you’re pronouncing it.
If you have a family tree you can look at, those are always fun places to find names.
I’ve only met one Vartan in my entire life, and he’s a very smart and accomplished guy: Vartan Gregorian - Wikipedia
My advice, some of which echoes earlier comments:
Check recent lists of popular baby names and see if any there catch your eye. Ditto your family tree; you might want to honor a deserving or famous relative.
If you want to avoid trendy first names, run your favorites by any teachers you know. They can tell you if lots of kids with those names are showing up in recent years.
Consider the nearly-inevitable cruel nicknames that some names will give rise to.
For your child’s sake, please, use a standard spelling so that he or she is not doomed to repeatedly spell the name, and to correct the misspelling of others.
Make it gender-obvious. A boy, in particular, will not thank you for giving him a name that eventually leads armies of telemarketers to assume he’s a woman.
Ditto a name that will get him beat up on the playground. It happens.
When you’ve narrowed the field to a handful of names, say them out loud often, including any middle name(s). Practice introducing your child out loud, first, middle and last - if it just doesn’t sound right, or flow nicely, consider your other options.
FWIW, my wife and I have three boys, whom we named John, Ethan and Thomas. Yes, we like old-fashioned names.
Please please please* PLEASE *don’t give your kid an ethnic name. My dad is Kashmiri and my mom is Cuban, and my mother fought tooth and nail (and won) for traditionally white names. If you’re raising the kid…pretty much anywhere, they’re gonna be a minority. As is, they’re gonna be biracial, and it isn’t a fun ride - the Indian kids look Indian, but it’s a whole different ball game to look mixed . I am so incredibly grateful that my parents gave me a name that’s easily spelled but not too common, hard to make fun of, etc. If you’re giving them your last name, they’re always going to have to correct how people spell and pronounce it as is. Don’t give 'em a double whammy.
I’d even suggest against giving him your name as their middle name, if it’s even vaguely ethnic. The only names I can think of off the top of my head that aren’t ethnic are Tara and Sheena, or Lucas like you said.
When choosing a child’s name you should play Stripper Vs President. In your best announcer voice, say the following:
“And now coming to the stage for your pleasure, (possible first name) (your last name)!”
Then say this:
“Ladies and gentlemen, please rise in honor of (possible first name) (your last name), the 52nd President of the United States of America.”
Does the name sound more like they will end up a stripper than the president? Then don’t name them that. If every woman who named her baby Diamond or Mercedes did this life would be a lot easier for their children.
I have a Norwegian friend who once told me she knew a guy called Odin. I instantly had the hots for him, without ever having met or seen him, just because I though it was the coolest name ever. We’ve had a running joke for over 10 years that she is going to introduce me once day. I think it does work much better if your Scandinavian, though.
I gotta say I disagree with this. Be proud of your culture and who you are. As someone who had an “ethinic” name and a disability to boot, it’s not a big deal. Kids will find some way to make fun of the kid. We’ve got a LuckAss in our class right now and the Tara in it is a slut- her name didn’t help her out there when trying to find a reason to pick on her. Kids will find a way to mock regardless of the name. Trying to blend in is one thing, but to do so at the expense of your culture is another.
Go with a name that you like, and be proud of it, and the Kid will find a way to deal with it and overcome it- or at worst, they’ll find a way around it. I know plenty of Dev’s who go by Dave, and a few others who Americanize their names- but that doesn’t mean they hate their names, they just use different ones around different people. So pick a good strong name that you’ll like and let the chips fall as they may. The only thing my parents did though was they did make the name easier to spell- two syllable names are always nicer than 4+, and it helps if it looks the way it sounds, because no matter what someone will ALWAYS find a way to screw it up.
But I gotta say, don’t just whiten up a name because you fear about the potential for the kid to be picked on down the road. Because if the kid’s gonna get picked on, his “safe” name is certainly not going to be the thing standing in their way.
As I’ve posted elsewhere on the Dope, I know a guy whose parents inflicted “Thorin Oakenshield [Commonlastname]” on him. As a Tolkien fan, I approve. As a parent, I’m appalled.
Or choose a new culture to be proud of! When it came time to name our kids, my brother sent me a book listing popular baby names, categorized by European country. I started with Albania and they had such cool names that I never really wanted to go beyond that, except that my wife put her foot down.
I therefore gift to you these two Albanian names, my favourites, that I was forbidden to use for my children:
Shkëlqim
or
Fatmirosh
(both boy’s first names)
More Albanian first names here
Yeah, as great as Vartan is, I don’t think it really goes with Laura. (This is why we didn’t tell people Baby From Mars’s name until she was born. Partly because we didn’t know what flavour we were getting, and because people LOVE to comment!)
What about Wes (short for Wesley?) Could be a Rotarian, but the short form is very skater hip.
Why do siblings have to have matchy-matchy names? It’s not like they’re going to be a boxed set forever. My name and my siblings’ names are from different ethnicities and don’t “match”, and it never caused us any issues or resentment.
Maybe Vaughn? I think that would work well with Laura or Linda. Plus, it has a similar feeling to Van. I’m generally not a big fan of last names as first names, but I don’t mind Vaughn.