Name this Xmas song... very little to work with.

I heard an unusual Christmas song the other day, no idea who it was, first time I had ever heard it as a matter of fact. I really liked it because it had a distinct 80’s “new wave” sound. I think it might have been a British band from the musical style and accent, but the only lyrics that I can remember went something like, “…A Christmas Catalog, and you.”

Anyone heard it and can tell me the title and band?

I hunted around a bit and I believe the song is “One Christmas Catalog” and the band is Captain Sensible. Chorus:

And there’s a turkey in the wings
He doesn’t dance and he can’t sing.
One christmas catalog too many,
one christmas catalog for you.

You can listen to it at You’re right, it is a neat song!

Yes that is it! Thank you!
Ahh…interesting, Captain Sensible is the bassist from The Damned.

I heard it pumped in over some muzak system and was intrigued. It’s a great song, IMHO. I love that 80’s thing.

Damn you, Dervish Jones! That is exactly the song in question. I hear it 2 or 3 times a day, cause it’s on our Muzak station. Catchy little ditty, isn’t it?

Wow, the lyrics are a trip! I’m trying to transcribe them and am having trouble on a couple of lines in the second and third verse. Anybody know what he’s saying? It’s almost a nonsensical song, but somehow it all just fits…

II Verse
Aeroplanes can fly, ships take to the sea.
Baby, you and I, we are you and me.
All the ??Nuts and Grapes?? (Knocks and Scrapes, Nuts and Greats?)
through the mists of time.
And even if its ?point? (Boit, Hoyt?)
are really quite sublime

III Verse
Certain Summer trips, day turns into night.
Till we squeeze the ??hips,??
??let’s her sleep her lights??
and outside it’s cool, here it’s fresh and bright.
oh won’t you take my arm, let’s get out of sight.