[Obligatory Geek Nitpick] Kirk was the NCC-1701’s third captain. Yes, I consider some parts of the animated series to be canon, including Captain Robert April. [/OGN]
You’d better take that back Fessie. I don’t know what kind of monster would equate that shrieking harpy to decent Vulcan other worldly being. Vulcans have feel… er, rather Vulcans are smart, okay? They know things.
Kirk would kick that howler monkey to the curb of the new frontier.
I remember that episode! And Bones was jealous…
I think the real question is “would Riker do Greta Van Sustran?”
I think Nancy Grace is more Worf’s type, but Kirk would probably take a whack at her.
Now that’s crazy talk. Leela’s more attractive and far less annoying than Nancy Grace, but she really hated Zapp and was skilled in martial arts and he STILL tried to get with her at every opportunity. The Amazonians broke his pelvis and he still bragged about it. So if he has any standards, I don’t think they exclude her either.
As fast as he could say “hold my trombone.”
He would do her, only to distract her from Spock and Scotty planting a bomb in her giant hair.
She’s a gonna blow Cap’t!
Riker was ready to do a chick who wasn’t even a chick, so I’d say oh, yeah.
Good!
Kirk would have been much more eager to discuss his sexual organs.
Kirk: And see this right here? It grows when you touch it. Go ahead and try.
Nancy Grace? Hell, he’d probably do Topher Grace.
Enjoy,
Steven
Win.
Well, Topher is prettier.
See, I don’t even know who Nancy Grace is; yet even I understand that it simply does not matter. We’re talking about Captain James T. Kirk of the starship Enterprise! Dammit, he’s responsible for the lives of 430 people on board his ship! He can’t afford to judge a woman based on whether she may or may not be Nancy Grace!
Oh, it may seem to matter at first; indeed, it may well present a formidable obstacle, her being Nancy Grace-- but these are the sorts of obstacles that Jim Kirk is famous for overcoming, all the way back to his Academy days. He does not believe in the “no-win situation.” If it’s a problem that she’s Nancy Grace, then mark my words: by the end of the episode she will not be Nancy Grace.
She won’t make it easy for him, of course. At first she is haughty and aloof, secure in the knowledge that she is Nancy Grace. “Why have you come here?” she demands, glaring imperiously at him. “Do you not understand that I am Nancy Grace?” Her attendants scowl at him, murmuring in agreement.
He lifts his hands placatingly, a bemused expression on his face. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but please, try to understand-- where I come from, we haven’t had Nancy Grace for hundreds of years.”
She could not be more shocked if he had slapped her. “You have no Nancy Grace?” she exclaims incredulously. “How can this be? There must always be a Nancy Grace!” Amazement turns to anger. “How dare you challenge the existence of Nancy Grace?” she cries furiously, still reeling inwardly at this impossible notion.
He hesitates, searching for the right words. “Haven’t you-- haven’t you ever considered what it would be like-- to not be Nancy Grace?”
She is caught off balance, dazed by the audacity of his words. “But… to not be Nancy Grace…” The idea is blasphemous, unthinkable, yet strangely compelling. She must be Nancy Grace! Mustn’t she? Can there truly be a world in which she is not Nancy Grace? She gazes into his mild, sincere eyes and whispers: "Tell me… what is ‘not Nancy Grace?’ "
And he tells her. Drawing her near to him, he speaks to her with his hands, his lips, the passion of his eyes-- his eyes that have seen the breaking dawn of a thousand alien suns. The shirt comes off, and she gasps as some long-hidden part of her soul awakens like a dove taking wing. He lavishes her with all the persuasion of his long experience: the Seven Thousand Blessings of the Orions; the Troyian Lotus Blossom; the Song of the Andorian Butterfly. She cries out in wonder as he shows her all the secret places of her heart where she is not and never was Nancy Grace; where she is exactly and only who she wants to be: herself, always and forever herself.
Afterward, she knows that he cannot stay; his place is among the stars, and her responsibility is to her people, who have never known a life without Nancy Grace. “Nona,” she whispers to herself: the new name she has chosen. Nancy Grace has been burned away like the shadow of a dream upon waking. She touches his hand one final time; he gazes at her fondly, then steps away.
“Kirk to Enterprise,” he says. “One to beam up.”
I was going to come in here to make some smart-ass comment.
But…to follow…Terrifel!…I…CAN’T!!!
Terrifel, while your logic is suspect, I find your story…fascinating. ^:dubious: ^
Me neither. Does she have two X chromosomes? Then Kirk’d hit it.