Napoleon and little Napoleon

I ran across the weirdest thing the other day. I was reading somewhere on the internet (something about world leaders who had been midgets . . . it wasn’t a productive evening) that Napoleon had, um . . . how to put this tastefully . . . penis size contests with other men (women being uneligible for obvious reasons.) One can only imagine what happened to the people who beat him. Does anyone know if this is true? Or is it along the lines of the Catherine the Great horse story?


The Guinness Book of Records once listed Boney’s bone as the most expensive penis. I’m not sure how many contests he could have won with it, though. Described as “a small, dried up object,” it was sold to an American urologist for $3,800 in the 1970s (having been removed during autopsy for some reason).

And it’s now often, though not necessarily reliably, rumoured that said “small, dried up object” is now in the possession of Conrad Black, the newspaper magnate and noted Napoleon obsessive.

Wait a century after you die and yours will probably small and dried up too… assuming it even exists.

I think that Conrad Black probably got “boned.” I mean, what do they do, give you an affadavit from the autopsy?