National Insult the Performer Day!

The BBQ Pit
1

I have a musician friend who plays harp and guitar, and sings like no one else I’ve ever heard. Her music is just beautiful, and most people who’ve heard her seem to agree. At a recent gig she sold a bunch of CDs as usual. Not long after, she got one back in the mail, along with a letter asking for a refund. “We didn’t like it.”

WTF???!!!?? You heard her play!! And would it kill you to have a CD on your shelf that doesn’t fit into the exact single type of music that you permit your delicate ears to hear? You could have given it to someone, or sold it, or dropped it off to Goodwill. And since when should she give you a refund for an OPENED CD?? Ever hear of music piracy? What a bunch of thoughtless rude jackasses.

Another friend facilitates drumming circles and also does programs at schools, libraries, and so on geared for kids, involving songs, drums, and primitive instruments and promoting environmental concerns. The kids love it. One time a woman came up to him after the gig and told him his act was “really lame.” He just smiled and said something like, “Well, thanks for your opinion.” Again, WTF?? “Gee, lady, you’re right – I AM lame. I’m going to stop doing this and find another way to make a living, so as not to inflict my LAMENESS on any more victims.”

Now everyone’s entitled to an opinion, but GEEZ. I’ve seen performers that I thought sucked, and we usually get some entertainment from ripping on them on the way home. But I would never dream of going up to them and telling them TO THEIR FACE that they suck!!

How insulting!!

Performers, has anything like this happened to you?

2

Yes it has happened exactly once to me. I have had other musician friends who have had it happen to them. It tends to happen most with the 'tards. They think they are trying to get culture somewhere else and show up with their new girl/boy friend to see something that the other is actually interested in. They listen to it and realize it is not hiphop, country, rock, etc and then decide since it is not music genre X that it sucks.

Get a number bimbo I would say to myself. The music is obviously geared towards a specific audience who appreciates it, not you. You could possibly like it if you didn’t close your mind off to it since it didn’t fall into your socially prescribed genre and lacks the “coolness factor.”

That is the only instance either myself or my friends in college (all classical or jazz musicians) had experienced with the post performance hecklers.

3

It could be that they found the recording qualities to be sub-par. IOW, they liked the music when they heard it live, but the recording left out too much of the nuance, leaving the music flat and lifeless. Asking for a refund was tacky, though.

4

I was in The Music Man, and i the song “shipoopi”, I was one of the flag girls, and I accidentily threw one of my flags at the audience. Coincidentily, it was the guy I had a small crush on…
For the next 2 months, that was ALL I heard. “hey, flag girl, what are you going to do? throw something at me?”

Poeple can be so cruel.

5

Rilchiam, I wish that were the case – but they were clear that they didn’t like the music itself. Also (granted that it’s subjective), I listen to the CD they returned all the time, and the recording is of exquisite quality, very comparable to her live performance.

:mad: I’m still shaking my head over those cads.

6

Sorry to hear that, Scarlett.

Similar experience: Mr. Rilch and I were at a comedy club a few years ago. We stopped after the show to compliment the headliner. Just as we were leaving, another couple approached. Female says, “We didn’t think you were very funny.” Comedian says, “Well, I appreciate your expressing your opinion.” Cads, indeed.

7

That story about the returned CD is amazing; some people just don’t have a f-ing clue, I guess. I must be lucky, because that hasn’t happened a lot to me. In fact, people are usually very appreciative of the music. I do have a couple of stories, though.

Once, I peformed with a small group at a restaurant. It didn’t pay very well, but the owner said they would give us dinner, and I wasn’t doing anything that night anyway. So we played for awhile, then took our dinner break, and they gave us some french fries - that was our dinner. We kept asking the manager if he wanted us to start playing again, but he didn’t seem in a hurry, so after awhile we began playing again. At the end of the evening, the manager announced that he wasn’t going to pay us the full amount (which was already pretty measly), because we “took too long a break”, and “he didn’t like the music”.

Another time, I performed in a show for an outdoor summer concert. To save money, they decided to invite the public to the “dress rehearsal”, but only pay the orchestra rehearsal rate. That was fine if they wanted to do that, but of course it was explained to them that a rehearsal is a 2 1/2 hour call, and if they wanted the musicians to stay longer, they would have to pay us for our time. Well, due to problems on stage, the “rehearsal” ran late, and after 2 1/2 hours, the show wasn’t finished. So this genius conductor turns around and announces: “I’m sorry, but because of union rules, the orchestra must leave now”. Of course, a more truthful statement would have been: “Because we are too cheap to pay the musicians an extra 15 bucks for their time, they have to leave now.” Well, then some joker in the audience shouts out “Bust the unions!”

Anyone who plays a musical instrument for a living (or any performer, for that matter) knows that most of us are always just one step out of the poor house. At least half the orchestra had a 1-2 hour drive home ahead of them that night, and had to get up in the morning to go to their second “day” job that they have to work in order to make a living. I felt like walking right up to that blowhard in the audience, asking him what HE does for a living, how much money he makes, and whether HE works for no pay.

8

Re your friend and the returned CD I think there is a different slant on the return you need to consider. It probably isn’t an artistic or musical criticism issue at all. The CD was probably given as gift to some people who looked the CD, rolled their eyes because it wasn’t “their kind of music” and decided it was an opportunity for a refund or they may have burned a copy and then decided to see if they could get their money back.

There are people on this planet who will try to refund anything and everything they can get their hands on (especially gifts) down to dollars and cents items. It’s really pretty incredible what some people will try to get cash back on down to without the slightest trace of embarrasment and they will cook up the wildest rationales for the refund.

Your friend is being scammed. Try to return a non-defective open CD to the mall music store because you didn’t dig the tunes and see what kind of luck you have. Still, to ask a live performer selling CDs direct for a $ 20.00 or so refund is so low even for a shameless refundaholic it does make you shake your head.

9

That’s a pile of crap about the CD return mentioned in the OP. An insult to the content of it was not what I interpreted from that; I thought it was more like what Astro was getting after in the second paragraph. That’s just low, especially with keeping in mind the experience Blowero related. Of course, if you solict refunds, etc, that’s another can o’ worms, but most people in that setting don’t, and shouldn’t.

My own performing experiences haven’t been enough yet to run across any really bad ones, but, here is MY worst:

It was the time we were playing in this dive bar, green as hell, while this drunk at the bar, in keeping with tradition, yells “Freeeeeeebirrrd!” after we finished a song. Bad part is, the song was next on our playlist. The playlist itself was barely legible; I thought it was clever to write it out on the floor tom head with a dry erase marker, not taking into account how many times I was using that drum and effectively obscuring the writing.
In a slight twist on the thread title, we insulted the Audience by having one of our less motivated drumming friends play an extended solo on my drums while we took a break outside. Three people immediately left, I was told later. I don’t blame them. Not to mention how the lead singer/guitarist apologized to the audience after crappy reneditions of rather astute songs such as “Aqualung” and “Cliffs of Dover” ( “I’m sorry, people, that was crap…”

An insult to the Owner of the Bar was also managed by having our underaged friends, whom we warned not to come, show up despite our asking. (21 to drink/enter a bar in Oklahoma). It was walking on eggshells after that. The guy was good not to throw us out, given the fact that our ages of 16 to 20 were overlooked. Even offered to have us back. What a guy.

10

Sadly, I must report that the people were also clear that they were the ones who had purchased the CD. I dunno. Maybe she had played only one or two songs from that particular CD, and it was the other ones they didn’t like. Or as you say, they were lying about having seen her and were just trying to pull a fast one.

About payment for gigs: One time this same friend had to abort a performance after about 5 songs. She’d felt like she was coming down with the flu or something during the 3-hour drive there, and was pretty wiggy by the time she got there. She tried to tough it out – sucking on a cough drop, switching to instrumentals – but she finally got to where she felt like she was going to pass out and had to stop. She apologized to the audience (maybe a dozen people) and the club owner, and offered refunds ($6 or $8 admission) to anyone who wanted one. No one took her up on it. One guy called out something to the effect of he’d paid more for less, that is, five of her songs were worth six bucks. She felt terrible about it, but I think everyone did, including the owner. No hard feelings, though – she’s played there again since.

11

Grr–I’m with you on everything except the drum circle thing. I once lived next to a pseudo-commune inhabited by hippies (the bad, non-bill-paying kind, not the good-socially-conscious-but-responsible type) who would drum for freakin’ HOURS on end. Now every time I hear that kind of stuff I get the uncontrollable urge to tear gas people. Those bastards ruined me! <sob sob>