As a very generalized generalization, Lamaze is more “out” and Bradley more “in”. In Lamaze, you find a focal point outside of the body - the clock on the wall is a common one, although my mother tells me there was a bubble in the wallpaper that she found a perfect focus point - and you use breathing techniques that require concentration and focus on your focus point to get yourself through the worst of the contraction by giving yourself something distracting to do.
Bradley is “opposite,” in that you put your awareness into your body, down and opening and relaxing (and, eventually, tightening in just the right spots).
So it’s really a matter of what works best for you - are you the kind of person who if you stub your toe, you go “ow,ow,ow,ow,ow” and shake it out and stare at the ceiling blinking away the tears until it stops smarting? Then Lamaze might just be for you. Or do you go very silent and close your eyes and breathe deep and hang your head and push that awareness into your foot until your toe stops throbbing? You might be a Bradley babe.
There are other differences in philosophy and, to a small extent, to the originators’ attitudes towards intervention during childbirth. But honestly, both have grown so large that your individual teacher’s own point of view and philosophy probably have more bearing on what your class will be like than the name on the flyer. Both cover the basic anatomy and physiology of fetal development and the stages of labor, usually a section on creating a birth plan and one on “what happens if it all gets…complicated,” and most spend some time on newborn care, including diapering and bathing.
Saw the responses and wondered the same. FFS, what a lot of histrionic bullshit.
By all means, read Ina May Gaskin’s stuff on pregnancy and childbirth. Shit, I read Spiritual Midwifery way back thirty-odd years ago, and it was fascinating then, even though my birthing experience was nothing like that described in the tome. But the pregnancy advice was spot on. Still relevant today, and worthy of more than a brief perusal.
I guess it’s a matter of ‘get used to it’** Zsofia.** There are so many nutters out there who reckon their advice is the only shit worth listening to.
But hey, congratulations on your upcoming bub and all. May your pregnancy be trouble free and your birthing be nothing short of mindblowing!
Yeah, sorry about that. I did read the OP, but I somehow got “I really want to do a home birth, but my spouse won’t let me and there is no intermediate option, so hospital it is.”
Then someone recommended Ina May “Babykiller” Gaskin, and my brain just went OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT SHE’S GONNA BE TALKED INTO INSISTING ON A HOMEBIRTH!
Anyway, I’m sane again now. And supportive of whatever you need. Of course you should do drug free pain-management if that’s what you want. I have nothing to share on that front, but will be reading with interest.
Natural childbirth really has nothing to do with the anti-vax people. I wanted a drug-free birth but I’m super pro-vaccine. If there is a vaccine, my kids get it. I’d vaccinate them for sibling rivalry if I could. I realize that the antivax people tend to also go for the hippie natural child-rearing stuff, but it doesn’t always (or even often) work the other way.
Yeah. What is up with people leaping to clutch their pearls and excoriate home birth unattended by a licensed professional, just because you said the words “natural childbirth?” She’s already planning a birth in a hospital, folks! Calm down.
Now that I’m done bitching, actual responsive information for you Zsofia! I did Bradley and I found it very useful. Iirc, some of their dietary recommendations aren’t scientifically supported, but they have excellent information on the process of birth, as well as lots and lots of information and support to help you achieve the birth you want in a hospital that may be clueless about (or hostile to) natural birth.
Also see if your hospital choices are designated mother-friendly and/or baby-friendly.. The baby friendly designation is mostly about breastfeeding, but I think any hospital that has qualified for that is far more likely to support your decisions about birth, and to be up on the latest science, rather than using outdated interventions.
ETA: I did out of hospital cnm attended births, breastfed my kids till age four, cloth diapered, etc. And my kids are also fully vaccinated for everything thankyouverymuch.
Yeah I know. But there is a huge overlap between in the hardcore NCB and anti-vax crowds, I didn’t make the association up out of whole cloth. People venturing into NCB waters will encounter plenty of anti-vax propaganda along the way.
Hell, throw in lactivists and freeschoolers too (and I’m pro homeschooling and pro breastfeeding myself, without being the other things).
You can be one without beeing the other. You can’t research one without encountering the other though.
I guess that was me. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, since I haven’t read it myself and am completely inexperienced when it comes to birthing babies. I only mentioned it because my cousin’s wife delivered two months ago - in a hospital - and absolutely loved what she learned from the book. As soon as she heard I was pregnant, she was offering to mail me her copy. Now, it’s not my thing at all, but it was very important for her to have a medication-free birth if at all possible, and she said the book helped her achieve that. Giant 10-pound baby and all.
I wasn’t trying to stir up controversy. I was just passing on info that was given to me in good faith from someone I trust.
Fair enough, and congratulations on your pregnancy. I followed your initial thread when you were having trouble, and I’m so happy to hear you were successful.
Oh, and congratulations to Zsofia too! Completely forgot about that.
You know that Amy Tuteur is just a troll, right? I’m totally fine discussing the relative risks and benefits of different birthing approaches, but I’m not reading her any further, because she offers at best a mix of useful information blended with misnformation, and at worst is a psycho shit-stirrer who tells women they need to stay with abusive husbands or their kids will be screwed up and it will be all their fault, and who stalks bereaved parents so she can use their tragic stories to up her click count.
To be clear, I’m an advocate of reforming birthing practices, and I personally think birth centers with CNMs are the best option if you want to go natural. But I don’t support direct-entry midwives attending home births as a good option.
I’m not happy with her methods and tone either, but “just a troll” is too dismissive. I’ve yet to find actual lies (as opposed to unpleasantness). I haven’t read beyond the last few years though, care to link to the stay-with-abusive-husband post and the others? That sounds hilarious!
She just made a convenient link in this case (it’s a guest blogger in both my links, not Amy Tuteur herself).
I was drug free and I didn’t use any method. I just listened to my midwife (in my well-appointed hospital room) and pushed out that baby. Classes are great for making you feel better about the oncoming birth, but when shove comes to push just do whatever your body wants you to do.
I found laboring on my hands and knees really reduced the pain until they broke my water, FYI.
What a woman thinks of Ina May Gaskin probably has a lot to do with her own birth experiences. After the labor and postnatal experience I had, I threw my copy onto the burn pile along with the La Leche League book.
Let me put it this way: read the natural birthing books but have it in your head that those stories are stories of labors that went well. If you have a labor that doesn’t go well and you need drugs or a c-section, you have not failed. You are not less of a woman or less of a mother. Your baby is not damaged and you are not forever denied a special experience. You ARE a mother, you DID birth that baby, and you DID do the best possible job you could have done. No, you didn’t give up or wimp out. YOU DID IT. The baby is out. You get a gold star.
Everyone who has written a published book is trying to sell the book. What the book says has absolutely nothing to do with what will happen or has happened to* you*.
I think people warn you because its really tragic when you get hung up on an idea and something goes wrong. Do keep an open mind. Not only give birth in a hospital, but insist on an MD, not a nurse midwife - they can’t cut if they need to. I have a friend with a severely disabled daughter because of her insistence on natural childbirth and a midwife and by the time the c-section was called for, it couldn’t be done fast enough. I have another girlfriend who nearly died of blood loss - she turned down the recommended c-section because “doctors only recommend them to get to their tee times” in her case, they were recommending it because she was high risk - she shredded her birth canal and had six hours of reconstructive surgery being wheeled to the OR as soon as the baby was detached from the cord (she gave birth to the placenta as she was being wheeled). Birth is still - even in the twentieth century - a serious and dangerous business.
I would, however, look for a doula - I think someone who can coach you, who has seen multiple births and who can help you switch from “outside focus” to “inside focus” if that is what looks to be more successful for you at the time, or on your hands and knees, or into the shower, or in a rocking chair, or walk the halls or… - cause you won’t know what feels best until you are there. A doula who works at your hospital will know the delivery nurses and be your best advocate. If you spouse freaks, your doula won’t. She can manage your mother for you - in the room, out of the room, whatever.
Congratulations and may you have an easy pregnancy, a smooth and ideal delivery, and a healthy mama and baby. However it goes, the last is the goal, don’t let the steps distract you.
This. The misery at the end of pregnancy and the hormones right after birth can make everything seem dire and tragic, and I think the people with strong reactions here are ones who went through a lot of anguish and want to prevent you from going through it too. I’m obviously still working through it three years later, for example.
I’m actually going to ignore the natural childbirth/homebirth/which author is better conversation here and get back to what Zsofia was asking about. (If anyone wants to discuss birthing practices in a dedicated thread, send me a PM and I’ll happily join in.)
I think there are three absolutely vital ingredients to having a good birth (one where you feel like you were respected and decisions were made in good faith on good information, regardless of whether it actually winds up being drug-free, an epidural, a c-section or whatever). First, find a provider that you feel approaches birth the same general way you do. It’s possible to try to arm-twist a high-intervention type into a drug free birth, or to pressure a low-intervention midwife type to transfer you for a section, but in the heat of the moment, you’ll feel more comfortable with a practitioner who you can guess would choose the same as you would if you had time and data to do a detailed analysis.
Second, have support. At least one person who is there to do whatever you need and help interface with medical folks on your behalf. If you can’t find a practitioner you mesh with, per #1, I’d say having an educated partner AND a doula might be helpful.
Third, learn all about what happens in labor, what the frequent interventions are, and decide what you think about them. Be prepared for the signals your body will be giving so you know what’s happening. No plan survives engagement (hehehe), but general knowledge will help you deal with the inevitable curveballs.
Oh, and yes, be prepared that you can’t really have a birth “plan.” It’s more of a list of desires and contingency preferences. Birth is a wild ride!
And pregnancy is the stage of parenting where you still think that you control things and life will go according to some plan - kids generally break you of that idea over time - and pregnancy is someones the first phase of that.
There are things you can control about your pregnancy. And there are things you can plan for and hope it goes according to plan. But pregnancy, childbirth and parenting are a huge risk management strategy. You will not be able to manage all risks, you will not be able to wrap your child in bubble wrap for the rest of their lives (nor will you want to - its a damaging as the risk). You’ll have to decide which risks to manage and which ones to let go - but you are about to become much more aware of risks - from food to stairs to your mother and her cold and why does she want to hold the baby when she has that cold to who they pick as their friends. Parents who are the parents of young children often find the naive risk stance of the newly pregnant terrifying - toddlers are like high alert risk status unless they are sleeping - I will say that as teens you sort of go back to the “well, they have to drive SOMETIME.”
Your partner may be the best choice for support. NONE of my girlfriends thought our husband was worth the space he was taking up in the delivery room. Mine - normally a highly competent person - flipped between confused and sleeping for thirteen hours. Tom needed to be medicated (which, in retrospect, was predictable). Clark took over from the doctor and nearly got himself tossed from the room. Dave turned the delivery room into the social event of the season and was too busy greeting the guests he called to say hi (while his wife was in labor!) to be supportive.
Have option #2 up your sleeve. If not a paid doula, a girlfriend who has been through birth and who you trust. And someone who will yell at your husband.
