So it’s still very early (six weeks today!) but I’m trying to do some research on our local childbirth options.
Unfortunately, our only local freestanding birth center seems to have been legislated out of existence, and my husband wouldn’t be up for the homebirth experience, so it looks lik a hospital it is. I’m not sure about the one my OB practice delivers at (I really like my doctor though…) and am going to be looking into that. So while I twiddle my thumbs waiting on my first OB appointment for which I have amassed an insane number of questions I’ve been looking into options for classes.
So what do you guys all recommend? Bradley method? Hypnobirthing? Old-skool Lamaze?
When my cousin’s wife found out I’m pregnant, she recommended “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth,” saying it’s a bit on the hippie side but tells you a ton about the actual birth process. All about natural birth, understanding your body, etc. It’s got great reviews on Amazon. I’m skipping it, as I’m pretty sure I’m a “gimme my epidural NOW” kind of gal, but it may be of interest to you.
My experience is from the 1970s, but I went full Lamaze and found it to be just right for me. I wouldn’t have missed the actual delivery feelings for anything (unless something else was necessary for the health and safety of the baby and me).
I liked Bradley method a lot. There’s a strong focus on teaching you exactly what your body is doing during childbirth, as well as teaching you pain management techniques. Bonus: The relaxation techniques they teach you are also helpful during stressful dental procedures.
Lamaze teaches patterned breathing, whereas Bradley teaches muscle relaxation and strengthening exercises. There are other differences, but that’s one of the main ones.
As a first time mum I found the Bradley method great - particularly to help understand the transitions between the different stages. I did hypo birthing as well - not sure how helpful it was but probably good in the early stages. I also found a book called Birth Skills really helpful. Chock full of different pain management techniques from visualisation, movement, repetition, water etc. Some which sounded great pre-labour ended up being really irritating during, but because I’d read the book and made notes I had a range of ‘tools’ ready to choose from.
I laboured at home 38 of the 39 hours of my first labour and found heat (a wheat bag), groaning (mooing like a cow), squeezing and banging stress balls (juggling balls are best) the shower and tapping my hand on the bottom of the shower in a puddle the most helpful things. Second time I got induced in hospital, much different experience, harder to do without pain relief as it goes too fast for you to recover between contractions.
You’ll find some good advice here, and my little contribution is that you should keep an open mind and not get too hung up on the idea of an ideal birth. I had all of these ideas in my head about a natural childbirth. My sweet little monster, however, was measuring big and my OB strongly advised a c-section. I was pretty resistant to the idea-- hadn’t I heard all of these warnings about the “cascade of interventions” and doctors pushing c-sections to keep their golf schedules? Aren’t the measurements inaccurate, and can’t you give birth to a big baby anyway? I was really arguing to stay natural, and pretty adamant about sticking to my plan.
It called for a quick decision, and I did a lot of last minute research before reluctantly concluding a c-section was right for me. It was by far the best decision I’ve ever made- she did turn out to be big. More importantly, there were a number of other little complications that would have made for a long, dangerous labor that would end in an emergency c-section. I didn’t get my dream birth, but I did get a healthy baby and that’s what is important in the end.
So learn and plan, but remember that the result is more important than the process.
Please don’t read Ina May Gaskin or any other homebirth guru. Please please please don’t. They kill babies and mothers, and they don’t care.
Please go to a real hospital with real medical providers. Please get a c-section of you need it, please get pain medication if you need it, please get everything you need to be healthy and happy and safe. And please be guilt-free and strong.
Septima said what my gut wants to say. However: it certainly doesn’t hurt and certainly might help to have a natural pain management technique under your belt. There are plenty of mothers here who got a lot of help from those techniques, and you might too.
Or things might gang agley. You might be in transition an hour after your first contraction, unable to relax in time to stop the cascade of pain, laboring against a stuck, breech baby who is pinching her cord with every contraction. You need to be in a place where, in circumstances like those, a c-section is a blessing and a no-brainer.
Something I read but didn’t really understand before I had my daughter is that there are no prizes in motherhood. Nobody is going to give you a plaque for having a natural childbirth.
And there’s the main point: IF YOU NEED IT. Never had either, but many, many women who have experienced both have told me over the decades that no sane woman would choose to have a baby that way.
Echoing this again. Remember that what the “natural childbirth” folks don’t talk about is the high infant and maternal mortality rate that’s been associated with childbirth throughout history. We live in an era where we can almost eliminate children and mothers dying in childbirth – whatever you decide, make sure these interventions are available.
They talk about how the complication rate is lower than it is in hospitals, etc. and in addition to most home births being low-risk to begin with, I also wonder how much doesn’t get documented because there was no licensed birth attendant present. For me, post-partum hemorrhage was the #1 reason I would not have considered home birth if I’d had any children, with shoulder dystocia being close behind.
BTW, this is not about those situations where the baby was born at home because labor was so rapid.
That’s because pregnancies with obvious complications either start out or end up in hospitals, and home-births are generally self-selected for being low-risk. Newborn mortality (what we’ll call the “ultimate complication”) is three times higherin home births than in hospitals.
Please don’t think I’m suggesting not doing “natural birth” if that’s what appeals to you. Just do it in a hospital setting so that if something does start going wrong, you’ve got the advantages of 21st century medicine on your side.
You know, I wonder sometimes why people bother to write OPs if nobody’s going to read them?
ETA - sorry if that sounded snarky, but I made it clear in the OP that I’ll be delivering in a hospital even though I’d prefer a freestanding birth center, because that’s the only option. I’ve already ruled out homebirth.
I took hypno-birthing. There were some great breathing and relaxation techniques.
All of it was moot when my baby was not only OP, but after over 20 hours of hard labour, they had to break my water. Baby hadn’t progressed at all, I started running a fever and it ended up a C-section. It wasn’t ideal, but baby was fine and Mom healed with almost no scar and zero complications.
I used the Bradley Method for all three of mine (one a home birth-whatever). I had also taken Lamaze but when push came to shove (heh) the Bradley stuff is what worked better for me. I don’t think you can have too many pain relief strategies, and you don’t really know what will work best for you until you’re actually in labor so read up on as many as you can so you’ll be prepared for flexibility when you need it.
Might as well get used to it. I took Bradley classes because I wanted a natural childbirth, and I heard every single thing you’ve already heard in this thread plus a lot more, even after I was very specific that I was going to be delivering in a hospital and had no illusions about refusing medication or a C-section if those things turned out to be necessary. People still felt the need to harp on me about how WOMEN USED TO DIE IN CHILDBIRTH and how THERE IS NO MEDAL FOR NOT USING DRUGS and blah blah blah blah blah. I assume that people simply cannot help themselves, because none of these things were relevant to my situation, nor are they to yours.
Here is why I wanted a natural childbirth: Because I wanted one, and I am an adult capable of making my own decisions, and anything beyond that is none of anyone’s goddamn business.
I had other reasons, to be sure, but I certainly never felt compelled to share them with anyone who only wanted to shriek at me about how they didn’t approve of my decisions.
