My father died before I met my husband. But my mother was ecstatic with my choice and thinks my husband is wonderful.
I think we all harbor racial biases. That said, it doesn’t mean that everyone has them to the same degree. Yours seem extensive. Sterling’s are extensive. I can’t just say, “Oh, I’ve had a racist thought so you get a pass.” No, I don’t get a pass for my racist thoughts, and I don’t give others passes, either.