This is the weakest rant I have ever made. Truly, this is the weakest rant I could ever concieve of anyone, anywhere, ever ranting about.
If I were religious, I’d be praying for a rantis
If I could play an instrument, I’d be in the '80s band, Men Without Rants.
Even puns based on this subject are positively rantsid.
OK, I really and truly hate the NBC promotions department. All of them. Every single one of them from the interns to the copywriters to the guy who does EVERY SINGLE MOVIE PREVIEW that starts with “In a world where…”
This is not a very special Friends
This is not a must see West Wing
This is not the one to watch ER
This is not the “if you only catch one episode of Providence, this is it” Providence.
This is not a can’t miss UC Undercover
I watch TV shows because the TV shows are good, not because you’ve tricked me into seeing it. If you stopped telling me about next week’s ER, I would still watch it. Really, I would.
But you have to promote. I realize that. I was in the advertising biz. I know the game. But you’re pissing me off. It’s been going on for about two years now where you actively mislead the audience. Every preview. EVERY SINGLE PREVIEW, has scenes purposely out of order so that it looks like a plot twist that is never there. It was never going to be there.
You trick people into trying to watch the show. I, for one, don’t like it. That’s not a way to build a loyal viewership.
For example, I believe two episodes where there’s a miniscule subplot about Reese disappearing. They find him 3 minutes into this subplot and nothing else happens- In fact, what probably was more important about the episode was the start of the custody fight. But, no the ads say it like this:
“On the next dramatic ER: A race to discover a missing child.”
Speaking of weird previews, will someone PLEASE tell me what the fuck was up with that Law & Order preview? It has to be the most ridiculous looking tripe ever- Brain washing! Terrorism! Cybercult! Photo identification! Ooooh my god!
My God! I completely forgot about Law and Order when composing this rant. They’re the worst of them all. Instead of not telling us what happens, they tell us exactly what happens, which is a crime against humanity as far as I’m concerned. Who decided that the best way to promote the show was to render the first 30 minutes of it unnecessary?
Stop telling me who the bad guy is and let the nice police officers do their jobs.
I’ve noticed it for awhile, but it all came to a head last year on ER. The preview was Dr. Greene in a heliocopter whispering to his brand new wife over a headset “I love you” as the plane lurches downward. Everything, from the music to the announcer to the scenes shown, pointed to something really really bad happening. I raced to IMDB to see if Edwards was off the show. Nothing there. I looked around other places on the internet. Still nothing.
I watched the show in anticipation. And the scene with the heliocopter ended 2 seconds later with them landing safely in a junkyard. End of crisis. Begining of promotions hatred.
I clicked the “Info” button on the remote before watching tonight’s episode… And it says right fucking there that the Forensics Expert was lying. So, really, the first quarter of the episode was waiting until they talk to the forensics person, and then you spend the rest waiting until she’s convicted.
NBC has perhaps the most offensive marketing department of any network. They are using that damn new age, dramatic, chanting music for every single preview of Friends and ER. And before that, they used to sing the previews to William Tell Overture, or any of a bunch of classical music numbers that Looney Toons used. Literally, when ever I see a preview on NBC, I must change the channel. It’s Pavlovian now, my dissatisfaction is so conditioned that I can’t stop myself.
promos for M-rated (ie 15+) programs during kid’s shows [my pet favourite - I’m sure it must break the regulations on when M-rated shows can be broadcast]
When I WANT to read the credits (or listen to the music), squeezing credits etc into half a screen (thus rendering them illegible) while running a promo in the other half
promos that consist of a synopsis of the whole episode (less the last 5 minutes)
coming back from the last ad break just to show the credits I don’t care about (I waited thru the nth repeat for the Toyota bloody X-16 ad for this??)
