they deserve… I don’t even know what they deserve. I work overnight at a hotel, and just checked in a tiny lady with a local address, a wicked black eye, and an obviously upset teenage daughter wearing her pajamas. Putting two and two together, this has to be a domestic violence situation. Seriously, how is someone (husband, I assume, but who knows?) “proving his manhood” by hitting a 5 foot tall, maybe 95 pound woman?
Kudos to this woman for getting away, and not exposing her daughter to witnessing further violence. I wish there were more I could do than just let her know to please, please, please call if she needs anything, and to place her in an area of the hotel that no one can get to without going past me. A police officer friend of mine dropped by to chat just minutes after I checked this lady in, and I can’t even legally tell him the guest’s name/room number. It’s a Tuesday night in a small town, though, so the local police now know to keep an eye on a certain area of the hotel. I wish I could do more.
(The vengeful side of me kind of wishes that the perpetrator would show up here tonight, so that I - as a third party non-witness - could involve the police. But then again, I’d hate for mom and daughter to be exposed to any more than they’ve already endured tonight.)
They need their knee caps broke is what they need.
Slightly off topic…
I remember once when my son was just born. My wife was playing with the Baby. Durring their play, baby managed to head butt my wife right square on the bridge of the nose. (Actually she droped baby as she was laying on the bed. He happened to land on her face head first.)
The baby was unhurt but my wife was left with not one but two black eyes. Boy did I ever get the stink eye from people after that event occured. Kind of pissed me off that people automaticaly assumed I gave my wife the beat down instead of giving me the benifit of the doubt.
Addendum: (and I have no idea whether I spelled that right. I’m too peeved to care right now.) The teenage daughter referenced in the above post may actually be older. However, on further exposure to her this morning, she is obviously mentally disabled. Developmentally delayed. A bit slower than most. How does poor Mama explain last night’s situation? And how does this child process this information?
Broke kneecaps indeed. Hitting mama in front of a perpetual child ought to earn someone a place shoveling out the stables of hell. In perpetuity.
At the risk of highjacking the thread, I remember years back I was friendly with a local bartender. One day she came in with two black eyes. I told her she did not have to live that way, I would put her up in my house - no strings attached and no attempt to get naughty - until she found a place to live. She laughed at me and told me how it really happened. She and her boyfriend were out with friends. They were all drunk. In a fit of exuberance he snatached her up and flung her over his shoulder - and promptly fell backwards. She broke her nose. It was stupid, but not abuse. (I checked around, it did happen that way, there were witnesses.) She thought it was stupid and funny.
I agree with the OP, no man is a man who abuses women.
I don’t know what they deserve, but here’s what my dad got from me: I see him once every 3 or 4 years and am waiting for him to die so I get my fair share of his stuff.
A really sad thing is that this sort of behaviour tends to happen again and again until the bstrd perpetrator is reported.
Yet the victims often feel they can’t tell anyone.
The proper thing for the wife to do in such a situation is to wait for the abusive husband to fall asleep/pass out drunk/go on the nod. She should then cook up a 6 quart pot full of oat meal, corn meal mush, farina, buckwheat kasha, or similar. When it is fully cooked and bubbling nicely, she should dump it on hubby. Ideally, he should sleep nude and she should try for maximum coverage. If he wears jammies, she’ll just have to go for whatever exposed skin is available.
One of my cousins - a first cousin- is a wife beater and a parent beater, too. I think he drove his dad to the grave with the heartbreak of what an asshole snon he had raised. Of course he didn’t do a thing about it, still, I loved my uncle very much and tend to side with him.
I think my cousin should have nine ways of snot beat out of him…but who would do it? While it is better, it is still the idea that it’s between a man and his wife (He lives in India) that cripples the wife from getting any real help.
Seriously, I’m not sure what these guys need. The mindset of beating a woman is so foreign to me that I just don’t get it. (Present supervisor excluded. I’d love to cleave her head in two with a fire axe.) But I suspect that these guys need to exercise some extreme control over someone so that they can feel like they have SOME control. I’d bet that deep down, there are issues of powerlessness.
I don’t know how the system works in Britain but here it tends to happen again and again whether or not it’s reported. Cops show up at the house, husband spends a night in jail, wife refuses to press charges, and husband goes home.
My buddy’s wife (famous clutz) was helping out at a barn renovation party (renovating a barn while consuming alcohol, what fun!) She was trying to get some board in place and because nothing was square, even though the board was the right size for where it was to go, it had to slide through a snug space.
She realized she was going to have to pound it into place with a hammer… or something. She looked around and the closest tool in that vein was a big, cheap-ass rubber mallet that had been rotting in the barn. It worked well enough until the one corner got kind of stuck. Pissed off, wound up, swung like Mighty Casey at the bat, whomped the board with all her might, and had the rubber mallet bounce off and hit her in the eye.
My fiancee (designated driver) drove her to the hospital with her husband. They were immediately separated and the police were called. A social worker and a cop interviewed her while she was waiting to have her eyeball examine. If not for my fiancee’s corroberation, I do think my buddy would have found himself in handcuffs because they didn’t believe the “victim”.
I think the police can still arrest the suspect/perpetrator if they have reasonable evidence that domestic battery has occurred. I’ll have to look it up though. I’m under the impression that the law was modified because too many victims were refusing to press charges and the cycle of violence continued.
:: looks it up ::
Yes, at the website for Justice Canada, it looks as if the Crown and/or police can lay charges if there is independent evidence to support the charges. Charges can be withdrawn later.
I’m sure my buddy is taking plenty of precautions to protect himself from future charges though. As I said, his wife is famous for being a clutz, and to complicate matters, it’s vcommon for her to faint when she hurts herself (maybe 3 times out of 10). Many people have witnessed this too, including her own doctor (has something to do with a very bizarre reaction to sudden pain, so she’s passed out at her doctor’s plenty).
For example, she may stub her toe real bad on the coffee table… That makes her faint… Which makes her hit her head on the chair and bite her tongue…
So stubbed toe = hospital visit.
ETA: It’s a hoot going camping with her. I’ve seen her pass out when she crashed her mountain bike.
No, it doesn’t. I could come up with at least 10 hypothetical situations to explain this, none of which involve domestic violence.
Are you an Olympic caliber long-jumper? Because that’s quite a conclusion you’ve reached.
Indeed.
To repeat… wife beating, no, no, that’s not right… *anyone *beating, like when a wife beats her husband for example, is horrible and should be condemned.
But, before you jump on the vigilante committee bandwagon you should have a heck of a lot more evidence than tiny lady + black eye + upset teenager in pajamas.
When my ex beat me up, I was one of those who weren’t going to press charges. There were a lot of reasons behind it, none of which I’m going into here now.
In any event, in certain jurisdictions, mine being one of them, charges can be and are pressed even if the victim doesn’t want them to be. It isn’t up to the victim anymore in some cases - if abuse occurred, someone is going to be prosecuted. And he was. Thank god.