Nearly Useless Superheroes

Helps keep kids from walking along the subway tracks.

Shim Man: has the ability to adjust things by adding a tiny wedge in a loose spot.

CARBO who has the ability to “re-fizz” any flat sodas.

CID, who does not need CallerID to tell who is on the other end of the phone.

Apache Chief or Green Lantern when he was turned into a black guy for minorities in the Justice League.

[Slight hijack]: The ability to change the colors of anything? That’s a potentially scary power, right up there with the pleasure center one. I even wrote a “diary entry” of a psychotic mutant with the gift, and some of the applications scared me. For example, you could change the colors of stoplights. Make people’s eyelids transparent. Make print invisible or change (think instructions on prescription bottles, for example). on a lighter side, instant graffiti, or invisible clothes. There’s a lot of stuff you could do, but not so much to fight crime, I’ll admit. [/end hijack]

Okay, for my entry I’ll suggest Cineman: knows how any movie ends after only watching it for five minutes.

Please, oh please change the name of Urinatorr to WHIZZ KID!

Neutrino man. - He can detect and alter the flow of neutrinos at will.

Sadly, he can’t make them visible to anyone else, and spends his time hanging around physics labs, hoping for a chance to be useful.

I’ve been thinking of starting a thread about how I think that would be a Fantastic thing to have. Dropped your keys down the sewer? Hit reset. Drove through a stop sign in front of a cop? Hit reset. See your bookie walk into the bar and head your way? Hit reset and go out the back immediately. Then there’s the thing about being able win basically any fight.

Oh, and you could do all those wacky impulses without consequences. Tell your boss exactly what you think (quickly). Shoot your neighbor’s loud dog. I’m sure you can find your own uses.

Behold the joy that is… very mild superpowers.

Can detect the presence of nuclear weapons, nuclear reactors, or fissionable materials in the ground. On retainer with the IAEA.

The Scream: Able to endure near-limitless levels of pain without passing out or dying of shock! The worse it gets, the more fiercely he writhes on the ground and whimpers for mercy! The mightiest anesthetics are powerless against his agony!