I like my job and my co-workers, for the most part. Last year, I got a new boss. She’s a drama queen and has no boundaries whatsoever. In the past year, she has: threatened suicide by telephone and text message (I sent her the number for the employee assistance program), grabbed my ass “to get a closer look at your jeans”, flashed her tits at me twice, gotten falling down drunk at every company event that involves alcohol, and basically told me everything about her terrible life in excruciating detail. She makes personal phone calls all day long and then complains about how busy she is. She’s told me that I’m doing an awesome job, and no one’s ever been able to do what I’ve done or lasted as long as I have, but it’s not good enough, I have do more. She’s driving me insane.
To answer a few questions bound to come up: “She’s always been this way” and “She just likes you and feels comfortable around you.” Well, I’d like her to feel a lot **less **comfortable around me, thanks. HR did tell her she needed to keep her clothes on, so there’s that.
Obviously, I’m looking for a new job. How the hell do I explain in an interview that I love what I do and want to keep doing it, as long as it’s not anywhere near her? I know I’m supposed to leave the last bit out, but I’m having a difficult time explaining why I want to make a lateral move when I basically like the job I have right now. I’m afraid she’s turning me into a crazy person too. Help me!
People who will interview you don’t need to know every little detail; you can say something quite general like, “I love my job, and I love what I do, but the company I’m working for at the moment is not a good fit for me.” Or you could go with the old standard - “I’m looking for new challenges.”
Your boss does indeed sound completely off her rocker - I agree that you need to find a new job pronto. How long until she gets you involved in a sexual harassment suit? Or until you find her corpse at her desk one morning? Or she drives you crazy?
The phrase “personality conflict” might be apropos.
Which upper manager is this lady fucking that she hasn’t been tossed out on her ass yet?
HR should appreciate that you haven’t brought a harassment suit against the company. Frankly, it’s not too late to do so.
I’m not sure I’d go with personality conflict simply because it is pretty vague without explanation and could make them think that you are the part of the conflict to avoid.
If asked why you’re leaving could you say that at your current employer there is no path to move and you’d like to have the opportunity to contribute in more ways than it is possible to do there?
Do you want to know an interviewers secret? We don’t really give a shit while you are leaving your last job. We just want to make sure you weren’t forced out for dealing crack in the bathroom.
Obviously I have no idea about the size, structure or culture of your company. But a typical method of dealing with a crazy boss that I’ve found effective is to align yourself with other directors/VPs in different groups or above her. That way you have people who can substantiate your HR claims or might even be able to take you on their teams.
The fact of the matter is that all companies are full of jerky bosses. And they are usually bosses because they bring some value to the company in spite of their jerkish behavior. A company isn’t going to fire some Vice President who brings in $5 million in business just because some underdrone feels uncomfortible around him.
That makes sense. You say some general clichéd thing about needing a change of scenery or whatever, and they nod and carry on with the next question. It’s just part of the dance.
After sleeping on it, I realized just how crazy she’s already made me. See: the OP. I just need to focus on getting out of there quickly & efficiently and avoid her as much as possible in the process. Nothing else matters at this point.
Also, “personality conflict” says to me that you are the problem because you can’t seem to manage or resolve conflict. Saying that would make me think that it’s easier for you to run away from your problems than to deal with them.
While that isn’t totally fair; I might be looking for a job in your situation too, but I would never admit to the personality conflict in a job interview. Just use the vague “isn’t a good fit” or “looking for new challenges.”
It’s not a mere matter of discomfort at jerkish behavior if you’re getting into the realm of legitimate sexual harassment, though. And $5 million in sales can be canceled out by a $10 million lawsuit settlement (hypothetical numbers, of course), PLUS bad press (potentially). That is not a net benefit to *any *company.
Well, I agree that you might want to start looking, but this is a case where you might stay and make her leave. HR has already warned her. Unless she is bringing in money to the company (which I doubt if she is on the phone all the time) or sleeping with someone (which would probably make her keep her clothes on) HR and top management might be looking for a chance to dump her ass without getting sued. Start documenting her behavior and then bring it to HR not because of a conflict with you or because she is driving you crazy, but for the good of the company. Also check with her boss if that is possible. Don’t expect to be kept up to date on what is happening. If she is still there and crazy in a few months, leave. But I’d suspect that she’ll be gone or subdued. In places I work flashing in the workplace would get you escorted out the door lickety split. HR is probably waiting to get served with a suit by your lawyer - you working with them might make you a good guy in your eyes.
Now if she has some special clout all bets are off. But HR and managers hate anyone who rocks the boat, and that is her, not you.
How in the hell does that woman still have a job?