How are competitions judged? Are portions judged (you received a 5 on turns and a 4 on the finale) or is it a pass-fail situation? Is it judged by team or individually? I ask because these scores might help to determine your weak areas. Do you have a coach?
How often do you practice? How about your partner? Is your partner in the same page as you are?
Have you seen yourself dance?
Have you actually seen wining competitors dance?
You’d be surprised how many people have not really done these two things. Think of football coaches watching films.
Ultimately, I’d suggest to determine your end goal. Are you wanting to win just to win or are you willing to get into this full on?
I think use of the term “loser” has increased with our current president. I find that apparent trend undesirable. In my mind, it is ridiculous to describe someone as a loser, simply because they lost one election, or did not succeed in one instance.
I play a lot of golf - usually for money, and used to play a lot of poker. I realized that I disliked losing far more than I liked winning. I assumed an attitude of not really caring, so long as the stakes I was playing for were within mu budget. But that has turned into a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, such that I don’t know how to “turn it on” when a little extra effort might make a difference.
I see a lot of difficulty in a situation such as yours, where the judging is largely subjective. The only times I really tried to be competitive were against myself - either in running or lifting.
Sounds pretty hokey, but I’m convinced that the only real losers are those who don’t get up off of their couches and out of their houses and try.
Well, yeah, it is cyclical, especially when you don’t achieve your goal when you expected to. Just have to remember, competition isn’t always about winning, sometimes its about evaluating your skill level against others in your field of endeavor and also about learning how to further refine and hone your skills. It can be about learning what your weak areas are so you can work on strengthening those, sometimes you even learn that maybe you don’t have any skills at all in an area you need, but hadn’t even considered.
And no where in the world is sharing how you feel going to be less of a burden to others than on the internet.
If it’s feasible (i.e., if you see your actual scores at these events, rather than the judging being purely subjective, or the scores not being announced), you could be “competitive” with yourself, against your own previous performances.
As you’ve noted, you’ve put effort into this over several years, and you clearly have improved at it. It’s possible that, as others have noted, you’re competing against people who have literally decades more experience in dance than you do. It is, unfortunately, also possible (as you mention in your OP) that there’s a political or social subtext to the judging.
I started running about 8 years ago. I compete in a number of 5K and 10K races every summer. Running has been great for my physical fitness, and I certainly have gotten faster, but I also recognize that I’m probably at a disadvantage compared to (a) people who have run for many years, and (b) people who have an ever better level of overall physical fitness, and running skill, than I do.
Sure, I’d love to win my age division in a race; it’s never happened, and I’d be stunned if it ever did (I did, amazingly, get a third-place result a couple of years ago, in a very small race). So, what I do is focus on trying to better my personal record (PR) at that distance…as well as just focusing on spending time outside, exercising, and hanging out with my friends with whom I run.
I’ve had this dream of standing by, watching the builder launch my brand new Oyster 675 (a 69 foot sailboat) and thereafter sailing it around the world. I’ve giving up thinking I will ever earn the $2.5 million necessary for the boat and the millions necessary to support the adventure. Just not going to happen. I even learned to use a sextant to look cool at the helm.
I wish I was 22 and rich, very rich.
Are you doing your absolute best? The concept of “personal victory” should not be overlooked. My sport is Taekwondo and I went through a dry spell of several years where I would lose every sparring match I competed in. But I kept at it, learned from my opponents, and finally it started clicking and I started winning.
Yeah, it was frustrating and I know how you feel. But perseverance is the key, and frankly, if you’re having fun doing it, winning or losing seems to not matter so much as personal improvement does.
I’ve owned horses for over 30 years, and have shown less than 6 times, one time coming in dead last in a class of 27. I ride because I love riding and horses. It’s not about any ribbons.