Never knew I was beautiful...until I moved to L.A.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Hi,everyone its le fille intellectuelle!

This is my very first post on the SDMB & to be honest I’m so glad to finally find a community that I can say it like it really is without restriction.

Anyway,I’ll get to the point,which is that ever since I moved from a small town in the Southeast to L.A.,people have flat out followed me,harassed me,told me I’m beautiful.

Now,I really didn’t think about how different life would be in a big city,since I mostly stick to myself.

Mostly black guys,it seems like,feel the need to come to me & speak there deepest thoughts on my level of beauty.

“Good Morning” I desperately avoid,since it often turns into “you are FINE”!

Too often I’m just walking by myself & people will look at me & then come up to me & tell me how beautiful I am.

Most of it I’ve chocked up to them used to seeing people that are so unnatractive that “I” look good to them.However,since aparently I’m not good enough to get into Maxim,I fail to understand.

Sometimes its people that aren’t black that will feel the need to just walk up to me & tell me I’m lovely.Still the majority of the people that comment on my beauty are men,mostly black.

So,that’s the reason why I feel that I’m not beautiful.Its that I question the intelligence of the people who claim I am.

It would actually be a refresher to have a caucasion male or even someone foreign tell me “hey,you’re a goddess”.

The quality of the men that comment on my so called “beauty” is in question.

Personally,I’m a mid-late 20’s half black/half Arabic woman so I do understand it when people ask me if I’m from another country.One of my parents is from another country so I’m literally half foreign.
My face is sort of an oval shape which is why I wish my hair was long.However my nose is way too big & I have issues with the super slow growth rate of african-american textured hair.

My skin used to be really light,almost yellow,but I fear that this L.A. sun has made me darker.Regardless of what anyone thinks,I would be so happy if my skin were barely tan,or even porcelain.

So,anyway,due to my awkward hair & choice of career,I often find myself wearing wigs/extentions.That’s when it gets completely out of control with the comments from people.

Due to the people that I know in the industry that I work in,I know that I’m not beautiful by their standards.
Is it that I’m too sensitive or am I really as beautiful as people claim I am?
:cool:

2

post pictures so we can accurately judge

3

The usual reply:

Pics, or it didn’t happen. :wink:

Seriously, though. I can imagine somebody drop-dead gorgeous and somebody hideously ugly with that vague description.

And a number of industries based on Los Angeles have very high expectations of what is “beautiful”, and the definition of such will change as their needs change. Thin, blondes in? “Blondes are beautiful and the brunettes are plain.” Buxom brunettes are in? “We don’t need any blondes, thank you.”

So don’t judge yourself by their professional standards. Doesn’t do you any good and it doesn’t answer the question.

4

Ah, you overestimate us.

5

It’s just Southern California. Everyone’s always assessing everyone else as to how they fit into their mating pool. And they’re blatant about it. I remember looking at the people in cars around me at redlights and us all making eye contact, half-smiles. It’s the currency of the region.

6

There is a lot of wasted space in your post.

7

In LA, too. It’s like, a beautiful coincidence.

I’m puzzled by “le fille”, too. Is that like a ladyboy?

8

Québec… Thailand… same diff…

9

I think everyone sees things differently. For example, I think Cindy Crawford is just a step-up above average-looking, yet another person may find her incredibly beautiful. I’m sure you are very attractive, so just enjoy the compliments!

10

If you’re sticking to yourself, you should seriously consider taking a shower.

11

Your small town in the Southeast, was it an ethnic enclave that had a lot of people with similar racial makeups? They may be “used” to how you look.

LA is very diverse, but I haven’t met many half black/arabic people. Your uniqueness might have gotten you noticed, which leads to people seeing you as an exotic fruit.

12

You live in LA? I would have guessed under a bridge.

13

I’d say that any young woman new to a city who has guys - “mostly black guys” - come up and praise her beauty is on the verge of a new profession.

14

Well, we DO have a bunch of bridges here in L.A., so it could be both.

15

I’m sure a real intellectuelle would have known it’s la fille, but eh.

16

So, let me get this straight. We black men are idiots, so if it’s mostly us remarking on how good you look (which remains to be seen), it obviously can’t be true? You are half black, but hate your hair texture and skin tone?

Yeah, I see the problem here, and it’s not insecurity.

17

When the guys tell you you are beautiful, say “Thank you!” and keep on moving down the street.

You may or may not be good looking. You may be exotic. You may just be giving off the aura that you are new there and unsure of yourself. There are a lot of wolves in LA, in my small experience.

I’m curious about the “le fille” instead of “la fille” myself. Your sexuality doesn’t matter to us, but around here, we notice grammar, and wonder whether slips are deliberate or accidental. And we love them both. Welcome to the Straight Dope!

18

It sounds related to insecurity, though, doesn’t it?

19

"Excuse me, miss, I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I understand there is a very small (but nonzero) percentage of women who will drop everything and mash genitals with me if I tell them they’re pretty. Are you one of them? "

20

I liked the part of the OP with all the spaces. It maid it easy to read.