Pulp Fiction - It’s a good thing that Marvin guy didn’t get shot by his crazy roomie.
Forrest Gump - Hope Forrest and Jenny live happily ever after!
Moulin Rouge - Hope Christian and Satine live happily ever after!
Romeo and Juliet - Hope the kids live happily ever after!
War of the Worlds - The aliens exterminate the human race and colonise the Earth.
Independence Day - The aliens exterminate the human race and strip the Earth of all it’s natural resources.
The Usual Suspects I’m glad that poor Mr Kint escaped those Hungarian/Argentinian criminals
Lethal Weapon I gave up after I realised it was gonna be nothing more than a schmaltzy film about some old guy’s retirement.
Titanic
What a sweet love story. I hope Kate and Leo sold that necklace and had a happy life after they got done with that cruise.
The Natural Too bad Robert Redford ended up in the hospital. Now gruff but lovable Wilford Brimley will never win the pennant.
Trading Places Those bastard Duke Brothers ended up screwing Dan Ackroyd and Eddie Murphy AND cornered the market in frozen orange juice concentrate
Citizen Kane He’s rich, powerful and married to Susan Alexander. What more could a man want?
Manchurian Candidate I don’t know about you, but I’d love to have that nice Angela Lansbury as my mother.
The Music Man Now that Marian has the goods on Harold, it’s just a question of whether she can get the proof to Mayor Shinn before Harold catches the next train out of town.
Star Wars (Episodes I-III) Anakin’s mother may be a slave, but you know with his cleverness and his strong love for her, he’ll grow up to be the moral leader of the Jedi.
West Side Story Good thing Tony stopped the fight between Riff and Bernardo before someone got hurt.
Or, “Now, that he’s solved the case, I’m sure he’s thinking about getting some head from that lovely wife!”
Uh, that’s impossible. Wesley died when his ship was attacked on the way to America!
Or, alternatively, if you turned it off even earlier:
Man, that Tyler Durden’s awesome! More men need to turn to fight clubs to express themselves in today’s emasculating society.
True story. No, it really, really happened.*
Private Benjamin: Benjamin and her french lover get married and live happily ever after.
- The film broke, and the projectionist couldn’t fix it. Everyone was told the movie was pretty much over, anyway. It was over 10 years later that I finally saw the whole thing.
The Godfather - Michael can finally put his family’s Mafia past behind him, get a normal job, and settle down with Kay.
12 Monkeys - Bruce Willis no doubt stopped Brad Pitt in a dramatic fight scene at the last moment, saved the world, and then married Madeline Stowe.
deleted.
Wild Things:It’s a good thing
[del]that high school guidance counselor got what was coming to him after raping a student[/del]
[del]he was cleared of all charges after being wrongfully accused[/del]
[del]the three of them made off with her parents’ money[/del]
[del]his plan with the detective worked out and they got rid of the kids[/del]
the two of them will sail off into the sunset.
Friday the 13th - Thank goodness that evil harridan Mrs. Voorhees is dead. At least one innocent camp counselor managed to get away in a canoe.
Friday the 13th part 2 - Thank goodness that evil Jason Voorhees is dead. At least one innocent camp counselor manged to escape a brutal dismemberment, and lives to see dawn…
Friday the 13th part 3 - Thank goodness that evil Jason Voorhees is dead. At least one innocent camp counselor manged to escape a brutal dismemberment, and lives to see dawn…
Friday the 13th part 4 - Thank goodness that evil Jason Voorhees is dead. At least one innocent camp counselor manged to escape a brutal dismemberment and lives to see dawn…
Friday the 13th part 5 - Thank goodness that evil Jason Voorhees is dead. At least one innocent camp counselor manged to escape a brutal dismemberment and lives to see dawn…
Friday the 13th part 6 - Thank goodness that evil Jason Voorhees is dead. At least one innocent camp counselor manged to escape a brutal dismemberment and lives to see dawn…
Friday the 13th part 7 - Thank goodness that evil Jason Voorhees is dead. At least one innocent camp counselor manged to escape a brutal dismemberment and lives to see dawn…
**Passion of The Christ **- Someone had to come to that man’s aid. He didn’t do anyting wrong.
Love that movie so much. This cracked me up.
It’s a Wonderful Life; RIP, ol George. We’ll never know what may have been.
Million Dollar Baby: She’s the champ! Yay!
Why does this make me think of “Won’t somebody help that poor man?” from Blazing Saddles?