Have you looked, umm, up there?
-sorry, sorry, couldn’t resist. 
If my cell phone charger is up there I like to think I would have noticed by now.
ETA: It is not a small thing, this charger. It has one of those huge black boxes. And prongs. I shudder to contemplate.
My experience - most women in all offices are bitches (all the bullies I’ve had in my career have been women). I would take an all-male job over all-female any day of the week; then I can tell all my dirty jokes and not get asked when I’m having kids and being expected to coo over their sprogs that they leave work early and expect me to cover for (when the favour is never returned).
Hmm, seems you touched a nerve there. 
Yeah, god help you if you - the female subordinate - are targeted by the Double Stuff Bitchy Combo of Accounting and HR. (Just mis-typed that as accunting… ) I’ve been there but I love love love it when I get the occassional opportunity to remind all and sundry that they are no longer here. And I am. Bite me, bee-otches!!! For whatever reason you were trying to get me fired… your psycho plan didn’t work.
(To this day I have NO idea what the dealio was. Some day I’ll get my boss drunk and ask him.)
Some women are indeed horrible, terrible AND evil coworkers. I had the worst time of it at an assisted living facility on the midnight shift. My next job at a call center was way better.
Fuck you, leaky stove… I got home today and my apartment is filled with that rotten egg smell of natural gas. Maintenance took an hour to get here and turn the gas off… So now my windows are wide open when it’s only 40 degrees outside AND my apartment still reeks of gas. Great.
Ok, on the plus side- the smell makes you realize that something is wrong, and I have maintenance people who come out and take care of these things for me. But seriously, it still sucks.
Screw you, guy who jumped off the overpass onto 355. Couldn’t you have just eaten rat poison? Instead you occupy the time of dozens of police officers, an ambulance crew and shut down a four-lane highway during rush hour. And that’s not even touching on what you may have done to the trucker that hit you on your way down. What if it had been some poor commuter in an Aveo? He could be dead, too. May your eternity be filled with the Macarana and weasels chewing off your scrotum.
Insane drivers and bike riders are really starting to piss me off. OK, I’m driving around town and TWO DIFFERENT drivers just completely blow through stop signs on cross streets. I’m cautious enough to know that people are morons so I usually hesitate a nanosecond just in case cross traffic does not stop. Indeed, they did not, and I managed to not be broadsided. I think they think it’s a sign of weakness to hesitate at a 4 way stop sign and they figure that they’ll risk an accident to save a couple of seconds.
Homeless people in this town are worse bike riders than wannabee racers and college students. One woman took a left turn in front of me from the right sight of the road without looking. She just cut in front of me with no indication or stop sign or anything. Another dude arbitrarily bombed off the sidewalk straight into traffic in front of me. Fortunately, it’s the part of town where the homeless tend to congregate, so I assume that any dirtbag on a bicycle is going to make an arbitrarily stupid suicidal move. People, you are not engendering a whole lot of empathy for the homeless, ya know?
Speaking of the homeless on bikes:
I know you didn’t buy that bike, asshole. You can’t afford a shower, you certainly can’t afford a $2500 road bike. Fuck you, you thieving piece of shit.