I saw this on teevee last night and couldn’t believe it wasn’t a parody, so I logged onto their Web site (www.prettynose.com).
It’s a New Beauty Secret, to give you a Whole New Nose—WITHOUT SURGERY! Having a really impressive honker, I sat down to listen. Seems they sell you these “forms.” They are very discreet about them, but I picture them as looking like tiny little paper clips. You cram 'em up your nose and it gives you a perfect tiptilted pro-feel . . . I went into the bathroom, shoved my fingers up my nose and laughed uproariously at the results (imagine if Jimmy Durante and the Lucky Charms leprechaun had mated).
They have a promotional video, dammit . . . really makes me wish I were still writing “The Bottom Shelf” for Movieline, I could have LOTS of fun with THAT . . .