Did you hear about the Rabbi that does circumcisions for free? He only takes tips.
I gotta say, these threads are more fun than … well, sex with Jack.
My suggestion for a sig:
JDT, Le Brisanthrope
Yeah, but wouldn’t a root canel also qualify for that criteria?
Ba-dum bum. G’night everyone; don’t forget to tip your waiters. We’ll be here all week so come back and try the veal.
I think Jack went through a Rabbi Tuckman type circumcision. You know, “nip the tip?” 'Cept, his wanker is so tiny, the tip was half. Poor guy, I hope he at least got fershinkerd on some sacremental wine…
“My penis made me do it!”
JDT: A cut above
Jumpin Dick Trash, it’s a gas-gas-GAS!
Jewish Conspiracy: The tip of the iceberg.
How about…
You don’t know Jack.
You don’t Want to know Jack.
KellyM,
> I found no instance of any person having been prosecuted for refusing to consent to a circumcision. This is not proof, of course; Westlaw’s database is not very complete before 1945 <
Still, this is helpful that you did that. That's interesting.
> , and minor court martials do not generally generate documents of the sort that would appear in Westlaw anyway. But an appeal of such a conviction would <
Would an appeal? Why would you think that? Don't you know that very often Court of Appeal's refuse to publish their rulings? This is often called "legislating from the bench." Any ruling that could set a precedent in the area of circumcision is almost certainly a ruling that would not be published.
> – and the fact that a soldier was allowed to serve for two years starting in 1955 before being circumcised does seem to contradict Jack’s assertion that the military routinely snips inductees. <
First of all, this is after the Koran War. I know that during the Korean War, the Armed Forces were no longer ordering circumcisions. During the Korean War, the Armed Forces would do such things as offer two-weeks leave in exchange for a circumcision. A lot of soldiers took the deal because it was very cold on the front lines in the Korean War. The situation, as far as I know, has steadily improved since that time.
Second of all, I never said that soldiers were routinely ordered to undergo circumcisions in boot camp (although, I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case).So, what? The Army was waiting for their foreskins to fall off on their own? Some sort of two-week foreskin jungle training including hygiene tips and tricks? Shrinkage worries?
Gather 'round, kiddies. Can you say “Jack’s pulling all this out of his ass?”
I thought you could.
Umm, well, I hate to agree with Jack, but the army was, in the past, rather pro-circumcision. I doubt if they would stoop to court-martialing someone, but allowing 2 weeks off to 'rest & recoup" does sound very Army, and some soldiers might well have gone for it, just to be back in Japan, rather than Korea. Jack does not write very well, so you have to dig for the syntax.
The main problem I have with ol Jack is his idea that circumcision is in any way comparable to FGM. Hell, in the worst cases of FGM, they remove the clit, the labia, and sew up the bloody mess with thorns, all without painkillers or sanitary conditions. Umm, Jack- if male circumcision was similar, they would cut off your whole freakin penis, leaving you with just a hole to pee thru- and do it with a rusty, unhygenic knife,without so much as a freakin aspirin- in your dads basement. Circumcision is at worst an outmoded useless custom, FGM is a crime against humanity.
I do not want to join in too much on the “guess Jacks motive”, but the 2 or 3 guys who i have know who are this rabid about it, have been gay guys who like the … (warning, TMI ahead) umm,… well,… er “taste, mouth feel & general nastiness” of an uncut penis- and wish there were more of them.
Jack can put his foreskin up his ass? OK, now I’m impressed.
I was thinking a parody of the Gettysburg Address would be good, but I only got as far as:
“Foreskin was severed years ago…”
before I gave up. If anyone else wants to give it a shot, feel free.
my wife brought forth in this hospital a new baby, conceived in the shower, and dedicated to the proposition that he should not look like Daddy.
Now we are engaged in a great civil strife, testing whether that penis, or any penis so conceived and dedicated, can long endure. We are met on the great foreskin of that penis. We have come to dedicate a portion of that penis, as a final reminder of erotic sensations that here were lost so phimosis might be also. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, his is larger than mine, we cannot snip, we cannot circumsize–we cannot hallow–this foreskin. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, using Tug-Ahoy, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the uncircumsized, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us–that from these honored foreskins we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion–that we here highly resolve that these circumsized shall not have been circumsized in vain–that this penis, under God, shall have a new foreskin–and that foreskins of the people, by the people, for the erotic sensations, shall not perish from the earth.
Or something like that.
Whoever said it was Jack’s own ass? Maybe he’s doing research into the effects of foreskin on the anus.
johnson- ROFL ^5. Man that rocks!
Hey, why not? It is a magical, mysterious, mythical entity unto itself…
Speak not harshly of the foreskin (may it live forever), lest ye be punished, O unworthy peon.
Well, JDT better not peon me! Especially after he’s just done a piss-wash.
::gasp:: How DARE you impugn the honor of the all -mighty, all-knowing foreskin (may it live forever).
::genuflects:: Forgive him, oh mighty foreskin (may you live forever), for he knows not what he says.