Oooh, ooh, ooh! I know this one!
Personal Ethical Egoism.
Satanists killed Laci Peterson?
Holy shit! Did we just time-warp back to 1986? :dubious:
I’m not going to bother jumping into the fray, since others have done much better at fighting ignorance than I could. (And more politely, I may add.) If you’re really all that interested in learning more about the “satanic panic”, I suggest picking up the excellent, informative, and well-written book The Lure of the Sinister by Gareth J. Medway. Nothing quite like a healthy dose of common sense and good research skills to squash those alluring urban legends.
Wow, I’m so glad more eloquent and calm people beat me to my “oh, man they used witch and satanist interchangably!!”
#1. Wiccans don’t believe in hell. Therefore, we don’t believe in Satan. Therefore, it is impossible for a witch to be a satanist. That would be why everytime I see the phrase “satanic witch” I want to scream. It does the religion an enormous disservice. (I was at a Barnes and Noble one time actually and saw the Satanic Bible- the author or something refered to themselves as a “Satanic Witch” all I could do was stare for a good 5 minutes, I was so upset)
#2. Please please please, before making such uninformed statements such as the OP’s “Witch Coven/Satan Worship Group” reference (the equivelant of saying “Jewish Christmas”) think about who you’re going to offend.
Zabali_Clawbane, thanks for doing a great job fighting ignorance.
See, this is the sort of thing that pisses me off. It’s really stupid to call yourself a “Satanist” and they say “but really, we’re not evil, we don’t literally worship the devil, and we’re really just committed to a radical form of individualism and naturism, etc, etc, etc.”
Goddammit, if you’re not evil, don’t name your sect after an evil supernatural being. Pick something descriptive that won’t confuse the rest of the world.
First off, Satanists (LaVeyan) don’t believe in sin. Furthermore, they are against harming animals and children, by and large. They don’t do any ritualistic sacrifices or Hollywood mumbo-jumbo either.
I know a Satanist in the USMC Reserve and Miami PD. He’s a respectable guy, and he wouldn’t harm a child or animal or anything of that nature. While he strives to protect the people of America, his bretheren are going to be blamed for a gruesome and senseless murder. It’s sad.
Well, I think Anton LaVey’s version of Satanism (he founded the Church of Satan here in America, IIRC) is more like spiritual objectivism. They believe in basically the opposite of what Jesus stood for: trample anyone who gets in your way, lie, steal, manipulate, do whatever it takes to get that earthly power and money, and they also say that in doing so you will gain supernatural power as well.
So they may not believe in a being named Satan as Christianity does, but they do believe themselves to be the complete opposite of Christianity. Therefore, it makes sense that they would choose to align themselves with that hypothetical being, effectively declaring themselves to be Christianity’s enemy.
BTW, I think Anton LaVey was a total tool.
LC
The only Satanist I knew was back in college days, when he worked at the radio station with a friend of mine.
The most memorably evil act he ever committed that anyone could discover was that when the record (remember vinyl platters?) of the Doobie Brothers’ “Jesus Is Just All Right with Me” came into the station, he took one look at the title, screamed, and broke the record in half.
Took 'em two weeks to get another copy and join the rest of the country in playing the song twice an hour.
Not exactly a threat to world peace in my book…
the worst defense they can put up is “God killed her, so Scott is innocent. If it wasn’t for God, then she’d be alive, but now she is with him. Glory be.”
I believe Zoroastrianism is listed as the fourth Religion of the Book; I’d be somewhat disinclined to consider it pagan on that basis.
lezlers, please keep in mind that “witch” and “Wiccan” are not synonyms either. Witchcraft is nondenominational and not owned by the Craft; while it is probably most common in Wiccan, it can be practiced by people of any faith.
Were they baby eating satanists?
:rolleyes:
I think a few folks need to head over to Church of Satan dot com and educate themselves. This bullshit is getting ridiculous.
I’d go through and debunk all of the myths/lies/misrepresentations here, but I don’t have the time at the moment. Please, take a look at the webpage and doctrines and familiarize yourself with what’s what. I’m not personally a Satanist, but it’s so totally different than what I’m reading here that it’s laughable. I wouldn’t dare attempt to explain Judaism or Hinduism or any religion without the facts. That’s just offensive and ignorant.
Agreed. I stand corrected. It just pisses me off when people put Witch and Satanist together because most people aren’t aware of all of the little differences that exist in the pagan sphere. Most people lump witch with wiccan and pagan and so on and so on that when trying to explain to an outsider, it’s easier to keep it as simple as possible. When you start splitting hairs in your explanation, I’ve found people begin to get confused and thus, lose interest which leads them to continue lumping things on opposite ends of the spectrum together as one.
Stuff like this makes me feel like someone put something in my Ovaltine.
The Dark and Scary Infernal Chaos Magick Order of the
Godless Nietzchean Superman of the Left-Hand Path of
Aleister Crowley is now accepting applications for
membership.
While it’s highly unlikely that a namby-pamby wimp
like most of you Dopers seem to be might actually
have the testicles to get accepted by our highly
demanding and exclusive Order, we are nevertheless
desperate for dues so that our High Lord and Master
Seth Dark Star Luciferus Terriblus can keep himself
stocked up on Bacardi, cocaine, scary-looking black
robes and gold swastika jewelry. We might therefore
consider your application IF you measure up to our
tough standards and have lots of cash to spend
supporting our Temple. Being a hot-looking babe with
big breasts would help a lot too.
We are * very dangerous people * who know all kinds of
powerful magick and can squash our enemies like bugs,
and we’ll thank you not to laugh at our “Tales from
the Crypt” comic book collections and our Darth Vader
bedsheets. Our doctrines and magickal practices are
derived from careful study of the works of Aleister
Crowley as well as Frederick Nietzche notwithstanding
the fact that we can’t spell or pronounce his name.
(Like, is it a “z” or an "s’? And does the “i” come
before the “e”, or what?) OUR HIGH LORD AND MASTER’S
DOCTRINES ARE IN NO WAY DERIVED FROM STAR WARS,
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS OR SCIENTOLOGY!!! THAT WAS A
DAMNED LIE FROM A JACK CHICK TRACT AND ANYWAY WE
SETTLED THOSE LAWSUITS OUT OF COURT!!! We also
practice sex magick or at least we would if we could
get any babes to join our Order but apparently the
chicks aren’t terribly impressed with a black magick
cult when half its membership are still living at home
with their parents and at age thirty still haven’t
touched a breast. Our only law is “Do What Thou Wilt”
which is our highest guiding principle except that
most of us can’t seem to find chicks who will let us
do as we wilt with them, and anyway our High Lord and
Master would probably hog them all for himself even though his
booze and coke habit has shriveled up his Mighty
Rod of Power like a raisin so that even a gallon jug
of Viagra couldn’t get a rise out of him. (We know.
The hooker we hired for our High Lord and Master at
our last Most High and Terrible Eldritch Rite of the
Full Moon and Used Comic Book Sale told us so.) So if
you’re a hot babe with big breasts we’ll probably
suspend the dues for you.
Anyway, we really are * very dangerous people * 'cuz like
we said we practice all these kinds of magick that
have the word “chaos” in their names and we like
actually own some books by Aleister Crowley and don’t
try to sell us any of those bogus editions of the
Necronomicon because we have them all already and
we’ve just learned that there really wasn’t any
Necronomicon. Life is only for those strong and
ruthless enough to seize the day which is something we
learned while getting beat up in high school so much,
- and you had better be afraid of us if you know what’s
good for you, Jack! *
You might be suitable for our dark and terrible Order
if you can answer “yes” to most of the following
questions:
Do you listen to a lot of heavy metal?
Are you secure in your spiritual power? Are you
absolutely fearless and ruthless and aren’t scared of
anything, not even scowling black teenagers dressed up
like “gangstuhs?”
Are you certain of the god-like potential within
yourself even though the best job you can get is
evening shift at the video store?
Do you read a lot of Crowley and Nietzche? Can you
spell and pronounce “Nietzche” correctly? If you can,
can you teach us?
Do you think it’s a good idea to mix Bacardi and
cocaine? (No, really, do you? Our High Lord and Master
has gotten awful skinny and pale and his hands tremble
a lot and when he talks he doesn’t make much sense any
more and we’re getting horribly worried about his
health.)
Do you think Christianity is contemptible beyond
words? Do you look down on the meek, ignorant Christan
masses, patiently awaiting the day when Lord Cthulhu
will rise from the depths of R’Leyh and bring horror
and torment to the football players who gave you
wedgies in the locker room in high school?
Are you a hot babe with big breasts?
If you’re a hot babe with big breasts, would you find
a thirty-year-old guy with long hair and a scraggly
beard who clerks in a video store, lives with his
parents and hasn’t ever touched a breast sexy? (If you
answer yes to the last two questions you don’t need to
bother with the other ones. * You’re in! * )
You will need to answer “no” to the following two
questions:
Are you Jewish? Our High Lord and Master has a problem
with that.
Are you a scowling black teenager who dresses like a
“gangstuh?” The rest of the membership has a problem
with that.
So like we said, we’re accepting applications 'cuz we
need the dues and maybe some babes, but you have to
meet our really, really tough standards first 'cuz
we’re such an exclusive order and don’t accept any
wimps. Applications will be accepted in person only.
Also, our High Lord and Master has raised the
application fee again and now insists on cash only in
small unmarked bills. Also cocaine if you’ve got any.
Wow, Lonsompolecat, way to stereotype, insult, degrade and mock a relgion you obviously know nothing about.
I’m Wiccan, not Satanic and do not agree with the Satanic religion on any level, but your post is IMHO completely inappropriate, ignorant and spiteful. Would you post something similar mocking the Christian faith? How about Judeism? Paganism? Probably not, because you’d get your ass handed to you. Have a little respect for others religions, if you agree with them or not.
I have only read part of the thread yet so someone may have already mentioned them. Right off the bat, I can think of two.
http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/weird/constanzo/1.html
http://www.meta-religion.com/New_religious_groups/Killer_issues/san_luis_obispo_satanist.htm
It may or may not be overturned. There are still MANY hurdles facing the boys.
If I may be so bold as to add a plug.
My daughter and I have been very active the last few years in support of having the verdicts overturned. I suggest that everyone here read that site, top to bottom) and if you are so inclined, please follow the instruction on how to write to different organizations (news, congress, etc.) as well as additional financial (they now take PayPal) and moral support of the WM3.
You should also watch the videos “Paradise Lost” and “Paradise Lost II: Revelations”. Hopefully they will outrage you into action and support the release of Damien, Jessie, and Jason.
Oh, please. I’ve met people in real life who were just about that pathetic. If you’ve had even marginal participation in the neo-Pagan movement, you’ve met some too. And the silliest of 'em all were the dopes who claimed to be following some kind of “left-hand path.” If ever a religion deserved to be mocked, Satanism is the one, although admittedly fluffy bunny Pagans are almost as bad. It’s one thing to ask me to respect someone whose religious beliefs are carefully thought out and have some actual depth, and another thing altogether to tell me I must pretend to respect some meatball who’s just acting out an adolescent fantasy he’s concocted from comic books, horror films and Ayn Rand novels. Both the leaders and the followers of hare-brained cults like LaVey’s Church of Satan deserve a pie in the face and a shot from the seltzer bottle.
And for your information, I have on a number of occasions mocked Christianity, in addition to Scientology, the Jehovah’s Witnesses, the followers of the Guru Maharaji Ji, the Mormons and quite a number of Pagans as well as others. The lunatic credulity of so many religious believers makes religion in general a ripe target for mockery which I often find impossible to resist.
Oh. Well okay then. I guess if you’ve mocked that many of them then that makes it okay.
Honestly, do you get off on being such an asshole? And do you have any religious beliefs? Or are you one of those who prefer to just insult everyone who’s different from you? You’re just a picture of tolerance and intelligence aren’t you? :wally
Obviously he’s an elitist atheist. You know the type, “Ho-hum, all of you people are sooo boring with this religion crap. I’m sooo much smarter than all of you, because I alone know the TRUTH!” :rolleyes:
Doesn’t feel too good when someone else turns your own razor wit back on you, does it LonesomePolecat?
An apt name, if ever I saw one. Skunk, indeed a fitting name for you. :dubious:
I guess it rubbed off on me from constantly having to deal with sanctimonious assholes like you. If you’re really this thin-skinned, maybe you should just stay the hell out of the Pit. When I posted this thing on other message boards some months ago, it got a lot of laughs, most from Pagans who, unlike you, have a sense of humor and aren’t self-righteous politically correct butt munches who take themselves much, much too seriously.
- King of the Hill * is on, and Bobby Hill has joined a coven. It’s hilarious. I should probably sue them for plagiarism.