New job - where to live? Too many choices!

In My Humble Opinion
1

Wondering what thoughts - if any - you might have about my impending situation. I’ve accepted a new job about 70 miles away from where I currently live (NW IN as opposed to W burb of Chicago.) We don’t need to make a decision right away, but are having some difficulty identifying and ranking (and agreeing upon) all of the options.

I technically start 8/30, but will have 6 weeks of “training” before I report to my new location full-time. We’ve lived in our current house for 15 years, and 1 town over for 10 years before that. We have 2 kids still in Illinois universities, and what family we have is generally in the W burbs of Chicago (tho my wife has some cousins in NW IN.) With our kids in college, we no longer need our 5-bedroom house. Also, it is on a busier street than we’d prefer, and we HATE both of our neighbors. My wife teaches part-time about 3 miles from our current home. She is a lawyer, and her license does not transfer directly to IN. My job offers assistance selling and buying w/in 2 years. After a year I will be eligible to work-at-home 2 days/week.

The first question is whether we sell our current house and, if so, when? Do we keep our (paid off) house and i just rent a shithole apt in IN to work M-F? Or do we take advantage of the offered buy-out this fall or next spring? If we sell, do we buy a house? In IL or IN? Do we rent in either - or both - locations? I could imagine buying a nice house in IN, and renting or buying a 2-bed apt near our current home. My wife is less certain. And neither of us sees there being any particular hurry in making up our minds.

I also have the option of requesting a transfer after 90 days. So if we wanted to stay where we are, I could ask to transfer to one of the 4 Chicago-area offices, and would likely be transferred back within a year.

I think I would like to spend some time at the slower pace offered in NW IN. Of course, I would be going to work every day, seeing people and such. Whereas my wife wonders if she would be stuck in the middle of nowhere, away from her friends, family, etc. I could see living in IN for maybe 5 years, and then seeing if we wanted to relocate anywhere else throughout the country (employer has offices in every state).

I realize we are extremely fortunate to have so many choices. Instead of making this insanely long(er), I’ll answer any questions as they arise. And I look forward to hearing your opinions.

2

Congrats on the job!

Some friends of mine moved to the Mokena/Tinley/Frankfort area because he works in Indiana and she works in the west suburbs. It’s a nice area, and their plan worked out for them. There’s lots of space, it still feels like it’s made up of towns and not, you know, sprawling overlapping suburbs. I love to go out to visit them, they always find something fun for us to do in the area. So, worth the mention.

I agree with your wife about being stuck in the middle of nowhere. On top of the away from friends and family she’ll be in an area with not-great job opportunities. So much less likely she’ll find work there, which means it will be harder to meet people, build a network, and feel like she’s a part of things. So either she’ll be sitting at home not working, or driving back to her “old life” 3 days a week. Neither are great options, for you or her. ETA: Her attitude will be a big factor, if she wants to move out to a nice quiet house in Indiana then probably no reason to worry. But if she’s not totally on board … odds are she’s not going to love it once she gets there.

3

I’d think about and come to an agreement with your wife about timelines first since the decision to sell or not sell seems to depend more heavily on that issue. Haven’t you said that the two of you wanted to transfer-with-an-eye-to-retirement to the Pacific Northwest or New England rather than rural(ish) IN?

My impulse would be to wait and see if you can get the transfer and where.

Plus, you’ve posted about your marital issues here before. Maybe a couple days apart a week wouldn’t be such a bad thing for you guys (no offense). Actually, there’s a good chance that your wife will get more neurotic and focused on your shortcomings if you insist on moving her to rural(ish) Indiana without a support network and/or employment prospects to take up her time.

PS: I’m really happy for you about the job, though! You sound more positive about your agency than you have in a while. Did I ever tell you mine came through with a transfer to Honolulu before I up and quit? I’m still chewing over whether or not I should have taken it.

4

Thanks for the thoughts. Coupla more factors in no particular order:

-We have 3 kids, aged 19-22.
-Oldest is now student teaching in Chicago area, recently engaged, lives w/ fiance 10 minutes from our home, plans on summer 2011 wedding in W burbs of Chicago.
-Younger 2 go to UofI. Neither plan on coming “home” next summer, but we will want a place for them over Thanksgiving and x-mas.
-Wife teaching 3 classes this fall at community college 2 miles from our house. Pretty regular gig for past 15 years.
-My employer offers generous home buy-out w/in 2 years if new workplace <50 mi from old. If I go to IN short-term and return before selling, may lose guaranteed sale.
-We have 2 golden retrievers.
-After a year I am eligible for 2 days/week work-at-home.

Right now, I’d say we would like to sell our current home sooner rather than later, but I assume spring would work out better than fall. No mtge, so we can live here cheap.

I found plenty of apts quite affordable and near my new work, some of which allow dogs, many which offer 6 or 9 month leases. I could easily imagine myself renting a 2 bedroom apt, which would give plenty of room if my wife wanted to come there to stay. But generally I could drive to IN for work Mon a.m., then back to Chicago Fri eve. Or I could stay in IN and my wife could drive out there. Depending on weather, traffic, etc, I could drive Sat and Sun.

Coming back to Chi would allow me to continue golfing with my buddies, but let me scope out the IN area during the week. For my wife, the IN apt could be like a vacation home. Then come spring, after having nice holidays with the fambly, we could plan on marketing our house, and deciding where we want to end up. Heck, we could end up renting an apt in Chi and another in IN, and just banking the cash we get from the home sale until we decide where we want to end up.

This really is a great development because, as I close in on 50, it has me really looking forward to the future as I haven’t in a decade or more. I really was in a rut with my job. And my being in a better mood, and having all these options, has been positive for my marriage.

Anu - don’t play that coulda/woulda/shoulda game. You are in a great place and made what was the best choice for you. You are going to end up in an even better place in just a couple of years.

5

I would say go start the new job, give it a couple of months, then start making decisions about moving and selling. It’s too soon to worry about that now - the new job might be a complete bust for reasons that aren’t apparent right now. I mean, not to be a complete downer or anything. :slight_smile: