A while back I saw a kid down the street riding a little stunt bicycle while wearing inline rollerskates! By the end of my walk, I was pretty sure we’d see this combo bikeskating on ESPN2 as a part of the next summer X-Games.
Nah, didn’t happen. Still, there’s a lot of potential. Picture a wild-eyed young athlete skating down a ramp with a bike under his arm. He zoops up another ramp, does a 360 spin, and he boards the bike in midair. He rides down the other side of the ramp, and after a few bike stunts, he climbs a towering ramp. At the top, he nimbly parks the bike against a rail, doing a handstand on the bike seat. And so on.
I think my favourite so far is lieu’s horse basketball, but the animal-rights people probably wouldn’t like it. (Some of them don’t even like polo, and that doesn’t have tackling.)
Towerball, from nocturnal_tick, would be great too, if somebody wants to build the tower. It’s time to write to ESPN!
AskNott’s suggestion would probably show up on ESPN if they had any imagination. Start a local league and pass the word, and you’ll get to see it!
And I like the ski+jumping one as well. Unfortunately, jsgoddess, I’m not getting anywhere near a trampoline, even watching on TV.
I was actually thinking about this just the other day…
Centerball
Take any one of your old boring-ass goal-at-each-end-of-the-field sports (Basketball, Football, Soccer, Hockey, Lacrosse, etc.) and move the goals back-to-back in the center of a circular playing field. As you approach your own goal, you also approach the opposition’s goal…just think of the potential for quick conversion of turnovers! Not to mention the (literally!) over-the-top scoring possibilities in Center(basket)ball.
Awww, shucks. :o
Well, it’s obviously impossible but how about GravityBall:
Two teams (anything from one person to ten) in a chamber of very low gravity, say 0.05G. The chamber is covered by a grid of squares, no wait hexagons, which illuminate one by one randomly for a small amount of time. The aim is for each team to hit the illumated hexagons with the ball before the light goes out which then lights in their colour. The team with the most coloured hexagons wins.
Plus you get to see wicked jumps and somersaults and stuff. Man I feel 8 years old right now.
Well, yes, it would be entertaining, but it would be hard to keep a team going with all those broken bones, and the medics would slow down the game way too much. (I suppose they could just run out on the court as play goes on, but they’d ask for hazard pay. There goes the budget!) And I’m still not volunteering!
Gravityball sounds good. Does NASA do sports? Or maybe the Russians? They could use the money.
I think that there should be a sports “league” based entirely on the premise of brand new sports. Suppose there were 16 weeks in the season. Each week, an entirely new sport would be invented, and the teams would be told what it was only half an hour before game time. They would then compete. The fans would vote on which of those 16 sports they enjoyed the most, and the selected sports would be used for the playoff and championship rounds.
The inventing of the sports, of course, would also take place with lots of fan input.
I made one up in high school: Australian Rules Monster Truck Lacrosse. Rules are a combination of rugby and lacrosse, but each truck has a 3-man crew - a driver, a receiver, and a passer.
The Trucks
Monster Trucks. With bitchin’ paint jobs and steel/fiberglass ramp-shaped barding to maximize the likelihood of one truck going airborne in any truck-on-truck collision.
The Field
The field is really big, and really muddy. It’s about a mile square, with a small goal set ice-hockey or lacrosse style near the end of each court. The mud is deep. It is possible there are some low-powered land mines or spectator-controlled mud fountains buried below the mud. You never know.
Passing
The passer carries a friggin’ huge air cannon that’s hooked up to an air compressor; he has to retrieve the ball (a four-foot diameter beach ball) from the netting or from the receiver, and make successful passes either by hand or using the air cannon.
Receiving
The receiver is responsible for deflecting passes with his oversized lacrosse net, hopefully batting the ball into one of the cargo nets around the monster truck’s bed. He can also use his net (basically a giant titanium spoon) to scoop errant passes off the ground.
Driving
The driver has the toughest job of all. He needs to be aware of where the ball is, which eligible receivers are downfield, and which defensemen are approaching. Drivers of defensive trucks have access to a short-range EMP weapon that disables trucks temporarily. If a truck is disabled by such a “check”, the ball must be surrendered to the successful defender’s back-seat crew.
Scoring
All players are virile and manly men of surpassing good looks. After the game is over, they all score. DURING the game, however, scoring points is accomplished by either placing the ball in the goal (a ridiculously small target) for one point or by jumping another (friendly or rival) truck and sailing over the goalie and the goal for three points. Points are awarded whether or not the crew, truck, or ball survive this second method. Take one for the TEAM!
Australian Rules
All drivers except the goalie must have a blood alcohol level of .05 to play.
Jurph, I remember hearing about a similar sport (but not as spectacular). It was played with a giant ball made of old tires and chicken wire, and had teams of cars trying to push it into the goal. No jumps, though.
