New techniques in telemarketing

Phone rings.

Phone Guy: “Hello, this is MCI [company or something, I think the guy said some small word so he couldn’t technically be accused of representing MCI]. Can I talk to Mrs. [fiancée’s last name]?”

Me: “She’s not here right now.”

PG: “We’ve been notified that you recently canceled your long-distance service. Can I talk to you about that?”

Me: “We don’t have long-distance here. We haven’t since I’ve been here [which is technically only since January, but I was living here for bits and pieces in October].”

PG: laughs. “Okay, thanks for your time, maam, have a nice day.”

Lots of little funbits can be gleaned from this discussion, such as the fact that I think the PG mighta not been listening and thought I was Mrs. [fiancée’s last name]. Either that or my voice was particularly high/light then.

However, what’s even more … interesting to me is that we don’t have MCI. We use a different company with a completely different-sounding name (rhymes with Merizon). And we don’t have on our “Merizon” plan any long-distance. Just basic service.

I’m halfway tempted to *69 the company to get their mailing address or whatever, but I have to go now to pick up the future Mrs. punha, and if I’m late … ooh, I better not be late.:smiley:

Sounds like a cheesy way to get around do not call fines. In most states, companies that already have a relationship with you can still call you, even if you’re on a do not call list. The PG’s company probably thinks they can get away with violations if they muddy the waters sufficiently to be able to make an argument that they thought they were talking to a recent customer.

I got another one for ya:

Phone rings.

Phone Guy: “Hello, can I speak to [male name I’ve never heard of–let’s say ‘Melvin Buttcakes’] please?”

Me: “I think you have the wrong number.”

PG: “Is this Mrs. Buttcakes?”

Me: “No, and you still have the wrong number.”

PG: “I’m sorry . . . have I dialed [begins to recite my phone number, then pauses] . . . first of all, let me tell you who I am; I am [name of person], calling from [name of company]. I was given [recites my entire phone number] for Melvin Buttcakes. Is that the number I have dialed?”

Me: “YES, but there’s no one here by that name.

PG: "Well, are you familiar with [name of company]? Let me tell you a little bit about who we are . . . "

Then, without waiting for an answer from me, he launches into a sales pitch (something about celebrity merchandise).

I hung up then.

MY question is whether or not Melvin Buttcakes even EXISTS, or if it was all a ploy to get around “No Call List” rules and sell me something. I am signed up on my state’s “No Call List”, but hey–this guy wasn’t calling ME, he was calling Melvin Buttcakes, so he did nothing wrong, right? :dubious:

I’ve bitched about this before, but I’m doing it again b/c my wife got suckered into it last night.

Usual Telemarketing Call: Check CallerID, ignore it, they hang up after the message beep.

New Telemarketing Call: Check CallerID, ignore it, after the beep they say “YO!!! It’s Me!! Are you there?? Pick up!! Hello?? Hello??”

So last night my wife picks up b/c it sound like her brother, and loses her mind after she realizes that it’s a telemarketer. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her swear like that.

Do they really think this new method of deceit is going to endear them to their potential customers? What do they expect - “Oh, it’s just a telemarketer - woo, doggie!! You tricked me GOOD, mister!! Let’s hear what you’ve got to say!” Sad.


Melvin Buttcakes.

Well, I don’t see any decrease in the amount of spam that I’m getting from “Name” who’s just sending me “The information [you] requested”, so it’s gotta be working for somebody.

You could have said you were Melvin Buttcakes’ brother, Seymour.

If you want to arm yourself with something funny to use against the next telemarketer who calls you, check out this:

Dude, it took me an embarrassingly long time on that one.

But now that I get it . . . :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

I actually had a cool telemarketer experience today!

Salesguy: Hi, do you take the Nearby Town Sunday paper?
Me: Actually, I deliver papers. I have a million papers. I do NOT need more papers.
Salesguy: Really? How many do you deliver?
Me: Oh, 'bout 370 dailies. More on Sunday.
Salesguy: Hmmm…does that pay pretty well? What, $250 a week or so?
Me: It does. $390 a week or so, actually.
Him: HMMMMM. Wow. Well, hey. Thanks for your time! Have a great day!

If I tried, I bet I could almost hear the sound of his feet beating a path to the circulation department so he could fill out an application for carrying newspapers instead of selling them.

I recently received a telemarketing call for a “work from home” business with a website at I’m pretty sure the actual business is just a scam, but the irritating thing is that the telemarketing call was in the form of a recorded message. This is generally illegal. But the rage-inducing part –

I couldn’t hang up. I put the phone down for thirty seconds (by the clock), picked it back up and the recording was still going. This is definitely illegal, for the reason that my fucking house could have been burning down, and I wouldn’t have been able to call for help.

I was hoping there’d be an opportunity to speak to a human and try to rewire his nervous system over the phone, but there was just the message, which included the URL. I looked at the website and found that there’s no way to contact these motherfuckers except by giving them all your personal information and sending off for their goddamned motivational video. I would love to get the FTC to prosecute this company, whatever it really is, and put the owners in jail, and then bury the jail itself under a giant mound of radioactive soil, then cover the soil with a 4-meter layer of concrete.

On the other hand, when I get a call from an actual telemarketing operator, I sometimes get to have fun. I once let a guy rattle on for close to three minutes about home refinancing (even though I was living in an apartment) and when he paused, I gasped out, “Don’t stop, you magnificent bitch, I’m almost there!”

It must be the same reason porn sites take URL’s that resemble popular web sites: “I meant to look at the White House web site, but look . . . it’s porn! Guess I’ll just give 'em my Visa Card number and see what my tax dollars are paying for.”

BTW, I’m sure everyone now knows that the White House site is “” while “” is, er, not. At least the last time I checked.

You are my hero of the day! Best I’ve ever done is made the guy listen while I talked to him about how great my long distance provider is. And I told him that I hoped the economy picked up because he sounded like much too nice of a guy to be a telemarkerter. He sounded rather confused by the time I let him hang up. But still, Baldwin you rock!!

Companies that do follow-up calls on extended service warranties. Look, I already declined the warranty once at the cash register when I bought the merchandise. Quit bugging me, already.

Yes, but is the best one. Check it out.

*Originally posted by Baldwin *
**I couldn’t hang up. I put the phone down for thirty seconds (by the clock), picked it back up and the recording was still going. This is definitely illegal, for the reason that my fucking house could have been burning down, and I wouldn’t have been able to call for help.


I’ve had this happen before too; I’ve found some success with unplugging the phone itself from the jack. Seems to reset it or something, which comes in handy.

That said, the ‘magnificent bitch’ thing? So stealing that!

here’s a funny one. Once I didnt have a job, living at my mom’s. Didnt get any telemarketing calls, from anyone, including the paper.

Then I got a job. Working for the paper.

That exact time I started getting telemarketing calls, but only from the paper. I told them I didnt want a subscription, I read the paper at work :slight_smile: Didnt tell em where I worked…heheheh

but WHY would a company do this :confused: doesnt seem to be an effective strategy.

It was a ploy to get you to say, “Yes.”

Once that Yes answer is recorded you just agreed via the miracle of electricity to buy whatever is being sold.