Obviously, this is one of bin Laden’s nefarious schemes designed to bring the US to its knees. People will be driven from their homes by the awful stench and forced to live in refugee camps while decontamination teams armed with fly swatters and cans of HotShot bug spray attempt to rid us of this horrible pest without poisoning the water supply. People driven mad by the horrendous odor will riddle McDonalds and the local post office with gunfire before turning their weapons on themselves. Businesses will be closed and transportation shut down until enough gas masks are available for the workers. People in nearby towns will huddle terrified in their homes, dreading the spread of this insidious creature.
Law enforcement officials are taking steps to secure the nation’s supply of Beano for fear that terrorists may attempt to compound the disaster by destroying existing stocks.
BE WARNED! TAKE PRECAUTIONS! (Practice holding your breath for a really, really long time.)
DO NOT ASSUME THAT ANY HORRIBLE SMELL CAN BE BLAMED ON YOUR DOG OR THE PERSON IN LINE IN FRONT OF YOU.
Flatulence is our friend in the War on Terrorism. Terrorist infiltrators will be flushed out by our own, er, chemical defenses. These brave insects are simply assistance from our Japanese and Korean allies.
So, go ahead, eat your Victory Beans, and let one rip. It’s the American way!
Not funny at all, coosa. I clicked on this thread expecting to read about the Washington Monument falling, or the Hoover Dam collapsing or something else even more horrendous.
Good Taste, this is coosa. coosa, here’s Good Taste. You two need to get acquainted.
You damn near gave me a heart attack. If I’d had said heart attack, people would have rushed over to my computer to see what was wrong, and someone would have noticed the thread title. And I’m in the heart of a school of journalism here. You could have started a stampede.
Thread title=not cool. You might think about writing a mod and asking them to change it.
Moderator’s Notes: What on earth possessed you write such a shocking and distasteful thread title, coosa? That was intensely indecent; a Holy Roman Empire-sized display of exceedingly bad judgement. Why you did not consider the effect those words would on the public astounds me. And apparently everyone else.
My deepest, most humble apologies - I did not mean to scare anyone. You’re right - I should have realized how on-edge everyone is and chosen a different title. I just didn’t expect anyone to take it seriously, as of course anything new would have been all over the news.
Post in haste, repent in leisure . . .
Thank you, Uncle Beer, for changing the title - sorry to have made extra work for you.