News Flash: Slortar Has Bad Taste

I have discovered that I have no taste in movies. This surprises me a bit, but the voice of the masses has spoken.

Allow me to elaborate:

I saw an ad for the new Rob Schneider movie (yes, the animal one) and decided that it looked like the lamest, most insipid pile of festering animal sputum I had ever seen. I sat through the television ad in abject horror and disbelief. Astoundingly lame.

Next part.

When I went to see the Mummy Returns over the weekend, the promo played in the opening trailers. The audience was almost literally rolling in the aisles.

Dear God.

Since my essential optimism and inherent love for humanity prevents me from assuming that the majority of the public is suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome, I have to assume the defect is within me…

No, actually 95% or more of the public are complete idiots that will swallow whatever pablum is shoved at them, and like it.

You just need to withdraw further into the boards, to forget traumatic experiences like that.

On a related but still hijacking note, what is this trend that any movie that has a post-Murphy SNL alum in a starring role must have no fewer than two of them, even when the movie’s premise isn’t based on an SNL skit that would require it?

Does it take both Schneider and MacDonald to equal Eddie Murphy (well, duh…)? Does it take Carvey and Myers to equal Chevy Chase? Did it take Spade and Farley to equal Belushi (okay, another duh…)?


I think your are right slortar – you just must be taste-deficient. I saw the preview for the Rob Schneider movie and it looks to me like it could be a sublime masterpiece of the human/animal condition. A level of artistic achievment and philoshophical import not seen since Howie Mandel’s Walk Like a Man.

I for one am anxiously awaiting it’s theatrical run, but I don’t know if I will be able to see it because I will be out of town that day.