Too late. We’re already all confused from reading it.
Cliff Notes version:
Ehud fools King Fatty into a private audiance. Kills him. Escapes unseen. King’s gaurds thinks King is taking a long dump and don’t check out anything for a while. When they finally do, Ehud is long gone.
You mean King Edward wasn’t killed by ninjas?
"Master Ninja Theme Song!
“Wop bop dat dot dee dee!”
That’s just what they want you to think.
Don’t forget one of the ninja’s most effective tactics…rusty, dirty weapons. No tetanus shots in the way back times, so an infection was likely to be fatal. Makes an opponent a little more hesitant to enter combat and guards a little less likely to pursue the escaping ninja.
Oh Cripes…file under “stuck in my head for the rest of the night”. :smack:
Or vampire ninjas!
They would, like, totally flip out and kill people – and then suck their blood!
Vampire Ninja Pirate Vikings!
Nah, he’d probably take him down by worming his way into the staff and poisoning him.
Definitely true. Best NInja trick: take a plausible forged document from warlord A to Warlord B. Hang out a bit and take the reply (with appropriate forgeries) to Warlord B. Now warlord A and B think you’re the official (secret) messenger of the other guy. You can hang out and walk around either place safely, since they think the other guy sent them to wait around for you. Best part is, if you do it long enough the whole matter gets really confused and noone can naysay you.
Defnitely. But they weren’t really up against the average person. I mean, who would hire a Ninja to spy on Fugu Farmer Joe?
Those are some dumb vampire ninjas, tracer. Their victim’s blood won’t do them much good with them being dead and all.
I’m sceptical about this one. How exactly is the ninja supposed to recognize the warlord, or Kind Edward, or whoever? Do leaders of men have distinctive asses, like some of the great apes? Or does the secret ninja training also teach them to differentiate between various brown-eyes?
Similarly, what do you do after you kill the guy with the old disembowelment-via-the-ass-from-the-toilet trick? Presumably there’ll be a bit of screaming involved - it doesn’t seem to be a quick and painless method. When the screaming occurs, you can bet the skilled and capable bodyguards will rush in to find you, the ninja, rectally eviscerating the head honcho. What do you do then? How do you escape? I think you’d literally be in the shit.
That is a truly sublime level of ridiculousness. I love it.
Dude, you know it’s the king because his shit don’t stink.