Say in a very cold voice, "I didn’t see your water break and you aren’t bleeding, so you can damn well wait your turn."
Great, now I’m trying to remember the Heinlein novel where the crowd organized a trial and gallows for a line-cutter.
Let’s see, it was a Lazarus Long one, since it was on Tertius, and I’m pretty sure Deety from Number of the Beast was the one who got dragged onto the jury making her late for something else…
Well crap, it’s probably either “Sail beyond the sunset” or “cat who walks through walls”, but damned if I can remember for sure.
And I’m having a hard time deciding between Bippy’s “nail 'em to the floor” or MrMyth’s more philosophical (and less arrestable) approach…
Or maybe just put it to a vote. Just yell back at everyone behind the waste of carbon “This ameba just wanted to know whether it was all right with all of you back there that he not be subjected to the agreed upon rules of civilized society.” If there is unanimous agreement to let the person in, they may cut. Then check whether Satan is placing an order ice skates. 
I think people would be less likely to display their moral flaws if they get a bigger audience.
It’s been years since I read The Cat Who Walked Through Walls, and while I don’t remember soneone on trial for line-cutting, I do remember the hero being in jail. Does that help at all?
Once at the airport, I had less than 20 minutes to make my plane, and there was a substantial line at the security checkpoint. I asked the guard if I could cut in, and she said only if someone would let me into the line.
I nicely asked a guy near the front of the line if I could cut in front of him. He said “no, but you can cut in behind me.” Gee, thanks. :rolleyes:
The person behind him kindly let me in.
And then one of the Angels of the SDMB (The people who always drive the speed limit, never smoke or drink, never wish misfortune or violence on anyone, never giggle at someone slipping on a banana peel, etc. and instead spend their time looking pious) has to come by and “Tut” and say “For shame! These line cutters have families! And puppies! What if someone got hurt and really needed to cut in line? Meanies!”
Frankly, I don’t understand the complaint. Why shouldn’t I cut in line in front of anyone I choose? After all, I actually have a life, unlike the rest of you losers. (And it’s obvious you are losers because you are standing placidly in line like so many brainless sheep.) I’m sure that whatever it is I am rushing off to do is much, much more important than anything you pathetic ordinary folks could ever dream up. You’re all nothing but cardboard-cutout pretend people that just clutter up the world with your empty, boring lives and empty, boring selves . . .
Hey, you! No, not you, the pregnant lady there . . . yeah, that one. Quit whining, will you? It’s bad enough that you’ve been pestering everyone with requests to time your contractions; now you’re trying to pull that old “my water just broke” schtick. Just shaddup! If a nasty old stable full of camel shit was good enough for the baby Jesus, your useless brat will be fine in a grocery cart!
[sub](Please don’t hurt me - Mangetout asked. I’m actually a very nice person who only uses the express lane when I have the correct number of items.)[/sub]
That’s freakin’ hysterical. Can I use it for my sig??
Go right ahead, but please note that I stole it from elsewhere on the 'net - the original line is slightly different.
woohoo! I made a sig line!!
I’m with coosa on this one. How dare you imply that I should wait in line with the rest of you riff-raff. I am far too important to be seen with the likes of you. How dare you say that I should be kind to others. You all should be ashamed of yourselves for not letting me cut in line. As being your far superior, I am entitled to be at the front. For shame on you guys for trying to bring me down to your level. FOR SHAME! FOR SHAME!
:::giggling, writes this one down to be remembered for the next time::
First I want to thank Esprix for using the term “chew toy” here in the OP. I’ve never before seen it used in that context before. That conjures up some lovely delicious images for any future slash fics I might write. Chew toy. Mmmmmm.
Ever have this happen to you? You go into a bank or credit union and get in line. Then someone who is way over at the wall counter filling out a deposit slip or whatever it is she’s got before she makes her transaction accuses you of cutting in front of her place in line. Hello? She’s NOT in line. She’s way over at the wall counter filling out some paperwork! If she was in line, then she’d be standing in the line. Am I missing something here?
If I was filling out a deposit slip at the desk or wall counter and someone came in and got in line, I’d never yell out, “Hey, bitch! I was in line before you!”
I was thinking he took a rawhide bone or a rubber hamburger to the movies, but didn’t want to ask.
I just finished “Sail Beyond the Sunset,” and it’s not that one. It sounds marvelously Heinlein, though.
MrMyth, you just might be my new hero.
When I go shopping with little cats I take joy in eliciting her child-given innocence at the supermarket express lane. “What is the number on that sign?” “How many things can you count on the belt ahead of us?” “Is that a bigger number than the sign?”
Other shoppers snicker at the shaming of the meathead who flunked either English or Math. Give me a nasty glance, and that’s OK. Say something evil to my daughter, and I’ll slap the taste out of your mouth. She’s not being impolite, just honest.
The post offices out here solved that problem - now the line wraps around a central counter that has pens, address labels, overnight envelopes, etc. so you can fill them out while you’re standing in line. I thought that was so obvious, but so clever.
Esprix
This is what I like about being huge and mean-looking. People just don’t try this shit with me.
It was “Time Enough For Love”, I’m pretty sure - I don’t remember which character was involved though.
And I think the trial was to decide whether the person who summarily executed the line-cutter was guilty of a crime. He wasn’t.
It was The Cat Who Walks Through Walls, and it was Gwen-Hazel who had to serve on the impromptu jury. This made her late in coming back to the clinic, which allowed Lazarus to try and pull a fast one re the foot donated to Richard.
Morgyn, thanks. Now that I know that, I found it. Wilson got the scene right, though.
Reading that again, I think I’m with Gwen/Hazel, though. Line cutting shouldn’t really get more than a broken arm.
Personally I think it’s rude to cut in line, but since someone complained about the lack of people standing up for line cutters, I’ll share this incident.
Sometimes it’s just proper courtesy to let people in line ahead of you, such as this incident I experienced a few years ago.
Scene:
The parking lot at the Alaska State Fairgrounds (which is really just a giant grass field surrounding the fairgrounds on four sides). It was about 80 degrees and most cars had their windows down as they got ready to leave.
Time: Midnight the last day of the fair. Multitudes of cars leaving the fairgrounds. Since there aren’t any lanes or roads in the parking lot itself, leaving the parking lot is a huge cluster, but because most people know “the deal” it is normally a very polite and organized endeavor, despite the circumstances.
Method: Slowly make your way to the nearest line of cars heading out, where everyone takes turns letting the cars on the “sidelines” cut in.
I’d weaved in and out of the grass hassocks, had waited my turn, and had gotten up to where it was my turn to finally merge into one of the lines of traffic that headed out toward the main road.
An old truck and camper was at about the right distance for me but he’d pulled kindof far forward, so not knowing if he’d seen me or if he’d already let a lot of people in, I politely asked (as I leaned out of my window) “oh, can I go next”?
The driver became enraged at my very reasonable question and started yelling at me that I could just “wait my turn” (um wasn’t that what I’d been doing?) and to “shut up and get back in my car, bitch”. I tried to nicely explain that I hadn’t meant to rush him, I was just wondering if I could go". He yelled even more.
To which the driver of the car in front of rude camperman said “hey! you can go in front of me”! (luckily there was just enough room for me to manuever over and he backed up a bit so I could get in front of him). At that point everyone in the line in front of this guy, and those waiting to get in who had heard Rude camperman began letting in NOT just the one or two cars as was usual, but 5 or more cars at a time.
And of course those cars that had been waiting on the sidelines and had heard him had to let in THEIR 5 or more cars and so on.
I wonder how far back that guy ended up?