No, actually, you CAN'T butt in line

The BBQ Pit
1

So me and the chew toy are standing in line on Friday night to see X-Men 2 (fun flick, by the way), and just as we get to the part of the line where it splits into three lines (one for each cashier), a guy and his girl step in front of us.

“Excuse me,” says I, “but the line ends back there,” says I, using my thumb to indicate the lenghty line behind me, and the end of it way back whereabouts.

“Man, they just opened up that third line,” says he.

Remarkably, I am unconvinced.

“That’s nice, but the end of the line is back there,” says I, once again indicating the way back of the line. Chew toy is standnig there, dumbfounded.

Unfazed, I proceed into line, continuing my conversation with the chew toy. (I think he was proud of me - he loves it when I get butch!)

After a few moments, I happen to notice that standing right behind us is Line Cutter and Girlfriend.

So, hey, I won one for us Good Guys, but the wimp behind me must have let him in anyway. Sad.

And there it is.

Esprix

2

I think I can say, without hyperbole, LINE CUTTERS SHOULD BE KILLED.

I was at the grocery store the other day and a woman asked if she could go ahead of me because “she didn’t really have time to wait in line”

Oh, and I do? I just go around looking for lines to stand in? Give me a fucking break.

3

No, jar the appropriate response is to pee on her shoes, right then and there, because “you really didn’t have time to go to the bathroom.” Easier if you’re a guy, to be sure, but you gotta take one for the team.

Line cutters must be flayed.

4

I’ll let someone cut in line if they ASK and I’m not in a huge hurry, but I hate when they just muscle their way in. Or when they see me walking toward a checkout line and I’m struggling with something heavy, and they just speed up and grab the spot just because they’re faster than me. I hate that.

5

jar maybe she didn’t have time to wait! If you did have time, perhapse you should let her in, if you didn’t have time you could say ‘Sorry but I have an appointment to keep… etc.’, the fact that she asked means she was not a line cutter.

Line cutters shouldn’t be killed, well not immediately, their feet should be nailed to the spot where they attempted to cut in, and a board should be hung round their necks saying ‘line cutter’ there to remain until starvation finishes them off.

Cheers, Bippy

6

I’ve found screaming, “Get to the end of the line you crack smoking gutter ho” works well.
Especially for family movies.

7

Every single time someone has butted a line behind me where I noticed it happen, I let the person who was cut off get in front of me. And the person behind them. And the person behind them. And the person behind them. And then I kinda forget to move forward in the line, thereby letting complete strangers wander in front of me. I have to thank cutters, because they remind to experience the simple pleasures in life, like counting all the squares in the floor tiles, or picking out all the letter e’s in the nearby signage.
They don’t have to be killed, though. Just sterilized.
And kill their parents for raising them to cut lines.

8

Simply Brilliant! I have a new goal in life!

9

Agreed, MrMyth - that’s a great idea.

Esprix

10

If someone attempts cutting into line before or after me they are summarily addressed and (if uncooperative) loudly berated very shortly thereafter. Continued lack of compliance with common decency results in security being summoned. If security is absent or unavailable, I personally rally the crown to persuade or (if need be, thereafter) threaten the queue jumper with forcible ejection.

MrMyth, I like you! I do the same sort of thing on the freeway with people who refuse to let others merge.

11

Now, now blanx.

You flay them first, and then you urinate on them. The order is important, because if we did it your way, we couldn’t urinate into their wounds.

12

My friend and I were in line at Wal-Mart, at the only open checkout lane, when another one opened up.

Now, this was one of the new Double Decker Wal-Marts, with checkout lanes stacked up in two rows. The newly-opened checkout lane was one of the ones ahead of us, in the second row of lanes.

Now, what is the protocol for a new checkout lane? To whom does this highly coveted prize belong? Are we forming a Universal Line here, so that whoever is next in this lane is automatically rewarded by first dibs in that lane? Or is it a “hey, I’m stranded back here behind about thirty of you, I have dibs on that brand new line cuz this is ridiculous?” Is anyone entitled to that new lane, or is it a first-come/first-served policy?

FTR, my friend and I decided to take the high road, and informed the couple ahead of us–with far more purchases than we had–that the other lane was open and they should go first.

The husband says, “Oh, no, we’re fine! You girls go ahead!”

And his wife turns around, glances at us and then at the other lane, and snorts angrily at the very idea. Without even saying a word, she peels out of our lane and dashes towards the other one.

Oh, I’m sorry! That’s right. We were trying to steal that lane from you. We didn’t just tell you to go ahead of us. We didn’t think a “Hey, thanks!” was in order at all.

And yes, we will be dashing back to the card section in order to buy your husband a condolence card. The “I’m Sorry You Married Such a Bitch” kind that Hallmark specializes in.

Because it’s important to show them how much you care.

13

The grocery store is another matter entirely.

If someone (especially a store employee on their break) has only one or two items, I cheerfully let them cut in front of me (and frequently have to insist upon it). I also encourage others in front of me to pass a store employee on their break directly to the front of the line.

I do this as often as possible because I am utterly unabashed about politely asking others to let me cut in when I only have one or two items as well. (Note: this is only the case when there is ONE person in line with a large quantity of groceries on the belt already.)

CAVEAT: I always ask if the person I’m about to cut in is paying with cash. If not, they are out of luck. I refuse to have the line held up any more than necessary.

14

Well, shit, you’re completely right. My apologies.

15

itallics mine

Zenster, I have to agree with your ideas for the treatment of line cutters. But, is is really necessary to get royalty involved?

16

ah, this thread reminds me why I love sdmb so much :smiley: u go guys :smiley:

“one day mallocks, you’ll be as funny as all these people”
“Will I mum? Will I really?”
“don’t be stupid, you haven’t got the brains. now, off to bed with you.”

17

Heh heh heh…Esprix said “butt”…and “in”…heh heh heh…

18

“all these people” with a few exceptions…

19

Where is the person who is going to defend line-cutting? For any given rant there has to be an asshole who says ‘I do it all the time and I know I’m a jerk, get a life and leave me alone’.

20

Thanks you, Thank you.

And remember kids, every time you cut a line, God kills a kitten.