No Asshat, I'm Not Speeding Up For You

On my daily commute to work, I drive down a residential road with a 25 MPH speed limit and a double yellow line done the middle. There is no room to pull over or park on the side. It is maybe, maybe a mile. Once a month a so, there is a cop hiding behind the bushes of a driveway with a speed gun. It is a very good hiding place, too, right at the bottom of a hill, and there is no way to see him until he has got you in his sights. I drive the speed limit on this road. I try to drive the speed limit in most circumstances anyway, but I’m especially diligent on this road.

So yesterday I was driving down the road, just passing the speed trap area, and this Dodge Ram pickup truck rode up to my ass and started flashing his head lights for me to speed up. No asshat, I told myself, maintaining the speed limit, I’m not speeding up for you. I could almost see the steams of hatred fogging up the windows.

I drive to the end of the road and make my turn. Unfortunately for Mr. Dodge Ram, he is still going my way. This road still has the double yellow line down the middle and I drive the speed limit. There is little danger of a speed trap along this road, but I see no reason to comply by hitting the accelerator. Mr. Dodge Ram is probably giving himself a heart attack being stuck behind a Subaru that just will not speed up.

Okay, now I turn onto a double line road, get into the left lane, and Mr. Dodge Ram guns past me on the right. Bye, bye asshat. But he didn’t get so far. A little while later, there he was, stopped at a red light, and I pulled up behind him.

On green he gunned his monster truck again. At the next red light I pull up behind him again. I was chuckling by now. This guy was going extra fast but not getting anywhere any quicker.

I finally turned down a different road than Mr. Dodge Ram. I don’t suppose he got a speeding ticket that day, but some day, some cop will appear from behind a speed trap and nail his nuts to his rear. A richly deserved ticket, I’d say.

I usually slow down in those situations. I’m Evil.

Speeding up is out of the question. But depending on what kind of roads you have down there, maybe making 10 inches to the right and slowing down a bit would help the other guy to overtake you.

If you could do that but didn’t, then you are no better than those who hog the fast lane doing the speed limit.

The OP said right in the beginning that:

My inclination would have been to slow down too. I generally go faster than the posted speed limit, and I’ll get out of someone’s way, if I can. But if I’m already speeding and someone starts tailgating me, I’ll slow down to the speed limit.

No, not doing that makes him significantly better then the slow guy in the fast lane.

Stopping an idiot from speeding in a residential area is a public service. Won’t someone PLEASE think of the lower-middle-aged database administrators out for a morning run!

I’m always tempted to roll down my window and wave the guy to pass me. Hey, he wants to break the law by speeding; why not add crossing a double yellow line to the list?

What really fries my eggs is when there’s a broken line running down the middle of the road and people still tailgate me rather than passing. Then, I definitely slow down.

My counterpart to this situation is a narrow two-lane road through a wooded area near my house with a posted 45 mph limit. At night it is unsafe to travel this fast because of frequent sudden deer crossings (I generally do 35 for the two minutes it takes to traverse this stretch). I’m just waiting for the day some impatient tailgating bozo guns it past me and smacks head on into Bambi.

For what reason should the person in front encourage someone to pass illegally and speed? Do you not think that the speed limit and NO PASSING ZONE might be as such for a reason?

Let’s review:

  • No passing zone
  • Nowhere to pull over
  • Speed limit 25
  • 1 mile long
  • Known speed trap
  • Residential area

No matter how you slice it, the asshole is the tailgater with the rage problem.

For the record, I don’t know how it is in your jurisdiction, but in mine (the UK and driving on the left) waving your arm out the window means that you are planning on turning left. It’s not particularly helpful for people to make up their own hand signals.

But I nitpick and digress all at the same time.

People who speed in residential areas fuck me off hugely. There could be a child, a pet, a jogger, someone reversing out of a blind drive, anything. If the speed limit is set low, it is for a good reason.

And even if it is safe, you’re still a fuckwit asshole if you’re speeding, because you’re making it that much more unpleasant to live in those residences.

This goes quadruple if you’re on one of those stupidly annoyingly loud motorbikes.


I work at the Nashville International Airport, & this happens to me every day.
The back road that I take to work in the pre-dawn hours is narrow, poorly lit, shoulderless, thickly lined with trees, & quite often fog-shrouded. Dracula lives on a road like this. No passing, obviously.

And every morning, dimwits, traveling 20/30 mph faster than the limit pass me, or tailgate me with flashing lights.

I slow down, just to make 'em “happy”. (We need an “Evil Grin” smilie).

They’re all rushing to the airport.

HEY BUBBA! YEAH! YOU! You ever hear of Homeland Security? If you ain’t 45 minutes early for your flight, speeding ain’t gonna help. :mad:

The nearest main street has a posted limit of 30. It’s the sort of road that you could easily drive at 50 if you wanted to, but there are houses along it, so I guess that’s why the limit is so low.

That, and it’s a major cash cow for the parish (check my location). At least once a week there are a couple of cops out there at one of the cross-streets ticketing people left and right. So I go 30 on Terry, and I am constantly tailgated and rarely honked at. Mind you, I stay in the right lane unless I’m making a left, and they still sit on my tail, or pass me rudely – the sort of pass where they swerve around you and almost hit you when they move back into the lane.

Do they not see the weekly speed traps set up along there? Idiots.

I detest tailgaters and often slow down when I’ve got one trying to drive up my ass, too. I’m one of those obnoxious drivers that considers speed limits on a highway as more guidelines rather than actual limits; however, when it comes to school zones, residential, and university areas, there’s no fucking way I’m going to speed. I might hit someone, and the streets I normally take are notorious for people randomly crossing the street in the middle of traffic.

Even if there were room, I’d feel little compulsion to comply, unless there is extreme danger to myself—which, I suppose, means I could have turned into a stranger’s driveway and let him pass—but that would be extraordinary.

I wasn’t thinking particularly about the middle aged DBAs, the pets, the deer, or even the turtles that could have been there, but those are all good reasons not to speed up as well. I’m just not obligated to modify legal driving for another’s illegal driving.

I note that your location is Saint Louis. In my short time in this city, I’ve come to realize that describes every surface street, especially in Clayton.

Around here, you’d be perfectly within your rights by not moving out of the way for Mr. Tailgater-Speeder. That’s one good thing about living in Virginia.

I just love when that happens. It’s almost inevitable on my 60 mile one way trip to work every day that someone will blow by me. I usually catch up to them by the time I get to work though, as the local farmers are usually getting the tractors out at about the same time I go to work. Asshats. :smiley:

No kidding. I take Delmar a lot, too, and sometimes it’s even worse than Clayton. At least in Clayton most people cross at the crosswalk. On Delmar in the Loop, it’s a complete free-for-all.

If you slow down just because you have an asshole on your ass, you’re just as big an asshole as he is.

If you think that “he deserves it” or “i’m going to piss him off because he pissed me off”, then you got some issues to work out, brother.

If you think “if I slow down now, so he’ll learn a lesson and not tailgate in the future” then you’re delusional.

So, slowing down means you’re either delusional or vindictive. Take your pick.

Huh. I always slow down when someone is tailgating me and I am neither delusional or vindictive.

To me it is a safety issue.

When you are driving (and especially in a residental area) there is a chance you might have to stop quickly. I want to avoid being rear ended. If the person behind me won’t leave enough stopping distance then I slow down to reduce the likelihood I will have to stop quickly.

I’m both. What’s yer point?