No, I am not a big beautiful woman (cell phone shenanigans)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My cell number is known to only a handful of people, so the device doesn’t ring very often. SO I got surprised, and then suspicious, when I got several wrong numbers in a two hour span. All men. All saying, “oh, sorry, I must have the wrong number” and then hanging up.

Until caller number four said, “hi, can I speak to the lady from back page?” and when I said, “Um, I think you must have the wrong number,” he agreed and hung up even more quickly than the others.

So when caller number five started in with, “ah, I think I have the wrong number,” I said, “actually, I don’t think you do …are you looking for the lady from backpage?” “uh, yeah,” he said cautiously, “is she there?” “She doesn’t exist at this number,” I replied, “but maybe you can tell me what backpage is…?” whereupon he hung up, essentially giving me my answer.

A little googling later I had learned that backpage is a Craigslist wannabe with an overstuffed adult section, and that some 28-year-old woman in the southern part of my county was busily advertising her wares using my phone number. “if you try me just once,” she promised, “I will become your addiction.” She was a Big Beautiful Woman, the ad continued, and there were appropriately salacious pictures to prove it.

Well, I am not a big beautiful woman, and far be it for me to stand in the way of possible customers for this lady’s services. I doubted they would be very happy with me as a substitute. Anyway, I don’t like having my phone ring any more often than necessary. There were no corporate phone numbers to call, but the organization did provide an email form for resolving complaints. So I filled it out.

I explained the situation, ending with “we will no doubt all be happier, advertiser, potential clients, and me, if the correct phone number is listed instead,” and within five minutes I got a call stating that the message had been received and someone would take care of it, and I guess someone did because the calls stopped right away. Unfortunately I no longer have an excuse to have a sex ad open on my tablet…

Mundane and pointless enough for you?

2

Surprisingly outstanding customer service. I am very impressed.

Could it be that someone was playing a joke on you? It was probably a typo but you never know.

3

So are you hot?

:smiley:

4

Glad to know that the problem was resolved.

Some years ago, I faced sort of the same thing. A local strip club had a phone number that was one digit off mine. Wrong numbers were interesting.

Guys–they were all guys–would phone, asking if “we were still open,” or whether “Natasha was dancing tonight.” Often, these calls came from guys who were plainly drunk (explaining their inability to dial the correct number), sometimes late at night. They didn’t bother me much–I’m often up late anyway, and stating “wrong number; you want [correct phone number]” got rid of them.

But one call threw me. When I answered the phone, it was a female voice saying, “Hi, this is Brandy, your ad in the paper said you were looking for dancers and I’d like to audition…” I admit, I was tempted to tell Brandy to come over and audition–but I didn’t. Ethics won out, I informed Brandy that she had the wrong number, gave her the correct one, and wished her well.

Sigh.

5

Well I’ve posted this before but it’s still funny/yikesy. When my daughter was about 14 I bought her a cellphone. I chose the last four digits to correspond with her name. She could tell her friends - call me, it’s 777 NAME! Cool mum right? The digits also read 777 FUCK. She was getting all these late night phone calls …

6

Awww, honey, you ARE beautiful…

7

Aww, thank you…

I suppose it could’ve been a joke, but the people I spend time with don’t seem like the type to do that. Guess anything is possible though…

8

Someone with a name that sounds like “Petyr” is evidently in the habit of giving out my number to women he meets (and, by the sound of it, more than meets).

For some years, every once in a while, I have been getting anxious-sounding or angry calls from women asking if “Petyr” is available.

The last one was a doozy of a call - some women, obviously very angry and somewhat drunk, simply REFUSED to believe that there was (and has never been) anyone named “Petyr” at my number. Indeed, she claimed (unconvincingly) to be from “the Bank”, that she “KNEW” he was (here) and that it was “ILLEGAL” not to tell her where he was!

I could only offer my condolences and start to explain the situation - that lots of people have called asking for him, but I have no idea who he is. Halfway through the explaination, she slammed the phone down. In fact, none of them have been willing to tell me who this person is or why they are calling for him.

That was a while ago, and I haven’t had a “Petyr” call since. Maybe he’s stopped handing my number out.

9

Apparently porn sites have better customer service than banks. A few years ago my cell number was posted on a website as the customer support number for a credit counselling service offered by a financial institution. After dozens of voice mail messages providing me with SSN’s, names, dates of birth and financial woes I finally figured out who the culprit was. After dozens of messages from me, several frustrating hours being passed from person to person and weeks passing they finally figured out where the number was posted and fixed it. Unfortunately their clientele were exactly the wrong ones to steal an identity from or I could have been in the money baby!

10

I’ve had a couple of ‘near miss’ phone numbers in my moves around the US.
One was the phone number that was one digit short of a beer distributor. I got a lot of calls from bars. I got to talk to some really nice bartenders.
The other was the same number but a different area code for a police unit in another state specializing in stolen cars. I got to talk to some really nice cops. I thought that would make a nice ‘meet cute’ opening in a rom-com, but I had 20 years on the cops that called.

11

Years ago, if you swapped two numbers in the local game warden’s phone number, you got my number. I got some interesting messages on my answering machine about bedding for ducks and feeding deer. I once answered and it was the wife of someone that I worked with wanting to know how to get the “smart squirrels” out of their attic. If I answered the phone, I gave them the right number. Eventually the outgoing number on my answering machine listed the correct number for the game warden, but people still left messages.

12

What are you wearing?

13

backpage is a sort of Craigslist-style site, with a particular tolerance for prostitution ads, especially (I suppose) after Craiglist kicked them all off. According to Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times (March 17, 2012), Where Pimps Peddle Their Goods:

Kristof has maintained an on-going jihad against backpage, which he accuses of being a major conduit for purveyors of underage forced sex-slavery pimping; the quoted article is one of several that he’s run on the subject. (To the best of my knowledge, that article is not paywalled.)

ETA: So, if Village Voice is attempting to be an otherwise respectable alternative news organization, but has 48 attorneys general and Nicholas Kristof on their asses, I can see why they’d be quick to address the OP’s complaint. They’re already probably getting enough flack.

14

I had 2 slews of wrong numbers. One seemed to be a girl who was handing out my number to guys she met at clubs. To be kind, there were some 1s and 7s in my phone number then and I can understand a quickly written 1 or 7 on a napkin can later be misread as the other number. After a while, I just would say “She’s not here.” and hang up.

And another time I started getting calls from people inquiring about concrete stairs. I finally asked someone where they got the number. It was from the “Trading Times”, a weekly free paper in the area. So I dug out the latest copy and found the ad with the wrong number. I then called the paper and after consulting the yellow pages, called the concrete stair company. They asked me if I had taken down the names and numbers of the people who had called. I told them I wasn’t their damn message service.

15

Arthur the supervisor - his people kept calling me to ask whether they were on the schedule … at 6am grrrrr.

Eventually I called him and he had the nerve to complain about my boozy friends calling him at 1am. Ha ha ha - touche mon brave.

16

Apparently not in the BBW kind of way :frowning:

17

You don’t want to know… :wink:

18

A posing pouch? Manties? Fine Corinthian leather loincloth? :wink:

19

Ooooh.
Now you REALLY don’t want to know.

20

Nothing at all?