I always shed a tear at the end of the Brave Little Toaster when Toaster sacrifices himself to save his master. Yes, I know it’s a cartoon and yes I know it was a toaster but damn, gets me every time. That look on his face just before he jumps is the best piece of emotion in animation I have ever seen.
AI, a load of crap but I think I was going through a bad patch at the time I saw it. I got really upset in the cinema, was bawling my eyes out. Sometimes mortality gets me down!
Nope, turn in your testicles now.
When you can pry them out of my cold dead fingers! 
I think I cried at least once per episode for the entire first two seasons of The West Wing. And as for commercials, there used to be this Goodyear commercial where a family is out driving on a rainy night looking for their lost dog, and they almost run over it, but fortunately they have Goodyear tires and are able to stop in time and they pick up the poor little wet doggie. I bawled for about half an hour the first time I saw that one. But I was hormonal at the time. I don’t think either of those tops Gilligan’s Island, though.
One episode of a certain show always gets to me, but it doesn’t really fit in with your OP, because it was an all-around great show and not otherwise scorn-worthy by any means.
The “Jurassic Bark” episode of Futurama.
“What do we want?” “Fry’s dog!”
“When do we want it?” “Fry’s dog!”
Best episode ever. Makes me cry, and I love the show altogether, but every time I see this one, man, I cry for at least the last 5-10 minutes.
Others to add/second…
Scrubs - specifically two episodes. The one where Carla goes to the art exhibit with JD so he will think she’s smart, and she gives the rain lecture…I cried… Also, the one with the screw-up intern that JD is in charge of, and at the end he does the right thing and tells him to leave, and he infects the lady, yeah, tears…
Shaun of the Dead - the ending, and when they get to the Winchester and his mom dies/becomes a zombie…great movie
Any Golden Girls episode - personal reason, my grandmother who passed away a few years ago watched it every day.
And the Ikea commercial! I had never seen it until the link in this thread, and here I was looking for where they started pulling strings in the commercial, literally, as if there was a lot of yarn everywhere, waiting to be pulled…gah, stupidity…
Brendon Small
I’ve cried awfully little as an adult – three times since leaving college, I think. The first two were for personal, makes-sense-to-cry reasons, but the third was a figure skater at the 2002 Olympics. And this was just last month! (I didn’t even watch the 2002 Olympics.) I’m not sure what got me – probably wishing I could get to that level of joy.
I get choked up at that, and at the one where we find out that Leela’s parents have been watching over her all along. Similarly touching montage* at the end there.
-FrL
*monTAAAWWGE.
Ha! I’m sitting here in my room alone applauding–literally clapping for–that commercial.
Unfortunately, explaining why would constitute a spoiler.
-FrL-
The one that gets me… the movie Best of Times, Robin Williams, Kurt Russell. I’ll set it up because it’s pretty obscure. Williams and Russell are 30-somethings in a small town in CA. Russell was the hometown football QB god. Williams was the 4th-string receiver who dropped the ball at the end of THE big game. He still obsesses over it after 15-ish years.
He feels it changed his life from so much promise to bad. He engineers a scenario where his town and the other replay the “historic game of 1972”. All this is comedic, and quite hilarious I think. Many’sMMV. 
Anyways, the replay game comes down to the last play, win or lose, and Williams catches the ball for the touchdown. Fireworks go off, the crowd cheers, the movie audience cheers. But there’s one second, after he catches it, and he’s on his knees in the end zone. He looks down at the ball in his hands. Like, “I finally did it. After all these years. I finally redeemed myself for my error so long ago.” Just the way he looks at it, destroys me every time.
For me it’s Rocky. Doesn’t make me cry but it does get me a little every time I watch it. It’s the one where Mickey goes to Rocky’s place and tries to convince Rocky to take him as Rocky’s manager. Rocky is pissed off with this guy and just gives Mickey the cold shoulder. When Micky gets the hint and leaves, Rocky comes out of the toilet (where he ran into to avoid Mickey) and just lets his frustration go.
(Paraphrasing) “You wanna be my manager, Mick? You want to give me advise? I came to you for advise ten years ago. You gave me nothin’! Nothin’! You wanna move in with me? Come on in! What’s the matter with my house? My house stinks? YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT! IT STINKS!”
The scene cuts to Mickey walking home in the freezing cold and then suddenly Rocky bursts out of his place and runs after the old man and hugs him and shakes his hand. We don’t hear any dialogue but we know Rocky realises he does need help fighting Apollo and agrees to take on Mickey as his manager.
I thought that was such a touching scene. Yeah, the old man deserved it for ignoring Rocky all these years and what nerve to come back to him now that he’s been offered a shot at the Heavyweight title. But Rocky is smart enough to acknowledge that without someone to guide him, he’s one dead stallion come the night of the big fight.
Also, when Mickey sees Rocky running up to him, he takes a few steps back. He probably thought Rocky was gonna kill him
sigh Stallone was so much better back when he was a hungry actor.
I was watching the Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends marathon with my daughter on July 4th, when they showed a special called “Good Wilt Hunting”, in which the character Wilt goes back to the place where he was created to settle an old score, and the Foster’s gang goes to search for his creator, thinking that’s why he left. Along the way Wilt finds a tiny pink imaginary friend lost in a bus station, and returns her to her creator, a four-year-old girl. The look of utter joy on the little girl’s face as she danced around with her friend just made me choke up. Everybody in that scene was crying with joy, actually, but it made me cry too.
I got a lot of ribbing from my husband and BIL for breaking down over “Son of Stimpy.” But as I told them, I just didn’t see it the way they did. I don’t want to get into it; it’s the usual Ren & Stimpy vulgarity, but I simply could not bear the scene of Ren, who is usually so mean to Stimpy, having Christmas on his own, putting his present in front of Stimpy’s photograph and weeping. I told Mr. Rilch, “If I cry at the end of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, it’s reasonable to cry at that. What’s the difference, really?”
Back in 1993, the night of the day that the verdict was handed down for the retrial of the four LAPD officers, SNL’s cold opening was a song by “Recurring Characters for Unity.” It was…let me think…Queen Shanequa, Jan Brady, Wayne, Chris Farley’s Super Fan character, Hans or Franz, whichever one Kevin Nealon was, Frankenstein, the Richmeister, Stuart Smalley, Cajun Man, Pat, Nat X, and David Spade in his Hollywood Minute persona. It was a spoof on celebrity group sings, basically a plea not to repeat the actions of the previous spring.
Tim Meadows introduced them, and I slowly welled up through phrases such as “Let’s settle this with violence…NOT!” and the hook of “FIRE BAD!” Then when it got to the two characters who were normally the most nasty: Nat X (dubbed because Chris Rock can’t sing) – “We must end this racial split” and Spade – “It’s called love…look into it!” I was awash. And just to twist the knife, Meadows commented afterwards, “Well, you can’t imagine how touching that was for me…mostly because I don’t HAVE a recurring character!” Shoot, I have something in my eye right now.
On Maud, where after laughing at Mrs. Naugatuck’s crazy behavior, we cry when we find out her behavior is because she’s having a stroke. :eek:
Oh man, before that even, the old cars singing about their former lives, the places they went, and people they knew… and then CRUNCH!!! Dead car.
At one point I, single, me, owned three cars because I could not bear to sell the old one when I bought a new one. I wonder where my babies are now 
Didn’t make me cry, but every time Fonzie would come in the room on Happy Days I went wild wishing I could have been THAT cool !
Aw man, this episode of Cold Case.
Guys were hanging out on Fire Island or something, and someone died, I don’t even remember the details.
But they used Sheriff’s “When I’m With You” during the final sequence where they show the people as they were and as they are presently. (Totally fictional show, mind you.) Two guys who were friends on Fire Island 20 years ago, getting married, other friends watching, etc.
I try not to cry at stuff like that and in my defense I was probably premenstrual, but I bawled.
And since then, I can’t hear that song without tearing up. Bastards.
These are just embarrassing things we cry at, right? Not normal stuff like tragic movies or beautiful music? 'Cause if it’s the latter, my list would be way too long. I’m mushy.
But. Hell yeah I cried for that IKEA lamp! Also during the PetSmart commercial with the dachshundt that’s so attached to his little stuffed toy Bobo. The Zoloft bouncy ball too, even though it does get happy at the end. I’m a sucker.
New item: In Who Framed Roger Rabbit I tend to tear up at the part where Roger & Eddy Valient are in the movie theatre, and Eddy’s just revealed that a toon killed his brother, and Roger’s hysterical 'cause he’s certain Eddy hates him, and Eddy says ‘I don’t hate you,’ but Roger insists that Eddy must hate him, otherwise he wouldn’t have yanked his ears all those times. Eddy then grudgingly says, “I’m sorry I yanked your ears.” And here’s the killer part:
Roger (hopefully): All the times you yanked my ears?
The animation of Roger here is sooooo adorable, and the voice actor (Charles Fleischer) makes him sound so freakin’ sweet and pathetic … oh, I’m a goner.
Meanwhile, as a young child I used to cry at Charlie Brown comic strips. And whenever Mr. Rogers or Carol Burnett sang their “goodbye” songs. Why oh why did those shows have to make such a huge meal out of saying goodbye? Every week I mourned.
I was trying to tell my husband about the first time I saw a guy win on Who Wants to be a Millionaire (I think he was the first guy who ever won on the show). He went through all of the questions and never used a lifeline…until the million-dollar question, when he asked to phone his dad. His dad got on the line and he said, “Dad, I don’t need to ask you a question, I just wanted to tell you I’m about to win a million dollars…”
I’m telling this story to my husband and when I got to the phone call part, my throat just closed right up and I almost bawled. I don’t even think the Millionaire winner was such a great guy, but can you imagine the emotion of that moment, for him and for his dad?