This video would seem to indicate that the proper answer to your question is “yes”. But it could be “no”, since I can’t discount the “marijuana” theory, nor the “crack” theory, nor the “beer” theory. The “retard” theory is contraindicated, due to the vocabulary abilities of the video participants, but also cannot be entirely discounted, given how many apparently “normal” people I have encountered, who could use 3 syllable words like “microwave”, and “retarded”, and would still do retarded microwave experiments, to the detriment of the world around themselves. This question deserves more research, and more rigorous data gathering methods. Preferably conducted somewhere other than this researcher’s immediate vicinity.
Cooking times, and popcorn buttons, have little or nothing to do with microwave popcorn. Put it in, turn the dial (or punch numbers) and wait. When the pops settle down to less than one a second, it’s done.
It’s really simple; it only requires that the cooker stay by the microwave, and pays attention.
That’s asking too much. You’ve got an ergonomic problem here. The solution isn’t to try to force people to do exactly what they’re resisting doing.
Apparently not.
Why is counting pops and judging time intervals easier than pushing one button that says, “Popcorn”?
In my mind microwaves that can’t be set over a few minutes fall into the same category as toilet seats that are spring-loaded to keep people from urinating all over them. It’s just sad that they exist.
Where I work our microwave has a dial. It goes up to something ridiculous like 40 minutes. In the seven years I’ve been working there, the fire department has never been called for anything microwave related. If that ever did occur, we sure wouldn’t form a special committee to deal with it. We’d probably just ridicule the person who did it, at least daily, for the next year. Which is the way it should be.
They need to hire a popcorn popping person, and of course a supervisor for that person, a consulting team to draft the popcorn popping procedures, and an implementation team to coordinate the instruction program and roll out the new system.
I didn’t say it was easier; I said it was simple.
So, OK, your popcorn cooker is incapable of simple. He or She can push a button and still hang out by the microwave, right? At what point would that person belive that there are no more corns to be popped, and that the bag has caught fire, and that they should beat feet? That seems like no easier a calculation than to think, “Popcorn’s done; better stop it and take it out.”
No kidding; “Hey Dave! Set anything on fire lately?” Hyuk hyuk. 
Hey Dave, want some popcorn? Oh wait, nevermind, this bag isn’t on fire.
Hey Tris,
When you can’t dazzle management with brilliance, baffle them with science!
OK, I will leave now. I’ve got my popcorn and coke.
I’m good for a while.
I think we have completely derailed Tris’ rant.
But you have made my month with your post. There are so many quotes I want to steal from this thread.
Please keep us updated.
And excuse our gentle ribbing on the subject.
About 1:40 does it for me.
Just waiting on the safety committee approval here - they are trying to see if butter or “I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-butter” is better for microwaves, or if we should just pop popcorn the old-fashioned way with hot oil in a pan on top of a stove.
Oh, God!
I hope no one from our HR department reads that!
Tris
Too late.
Can I apply for that position? 
Well, given the title of the thread, that is more or less a given.
Thank you, thank you. Be sure to tip your waitress, unless you ordered the popcorn.
I’ll be here all week.
And I am |…| this close to printing that sucker out, and taping it to the microwave.
Tris
I can’t believe you have managers and supervisors who actually get up and make popcorn.
If, for example, your company was in the Minneapolis area, I might be available to fill the role of Microwave Oven Operations Supervisor. How’s $20 an hour sound?
No, it was the other way around.
I think it would make more sense to have a small dedicated popcorn machine, like you see in some bars. And instruct the guy who fills the vending machine to start putting something else where the microwave popcorn used to be.
Job Position # 90346-2743-Maze420: High Pressure Condensate Explosive Consumable Preparation Officer. Must show certification and proficiency with the following devices:
- Hygrometer.
- Hydrometer.
- Salinity - to - Butterfat Ratio Compressor.
- Napkins.
- Wet/Dry Shop Vac.
- Smoke Detector Disabling Clamp.
- Trash Compactor.
As far as the Procedures Team? They could take a page from the Zero Gravity Toilet Instructions from 2001: A Space Odysssey.
Seriously? People need to stand by because water boils at different temperatures depending upon altitude, humidity, how moist the popcorn IS when popped, and so on. Does # 3 on one microwaves equal # 3 on another? Of course not. One needs a bit of time to learn the vagaries of one’s microwave oven before walking away and assuming the building won’t be burned to the ground.
The real solution would be to get a nice, high quality theater style popcorn popper, let the employees who are so inclined totally geek out about perfect oil to kernel ratios and the like, and have awesome, delicious popcorn available all the time.
That way, when it catches on fire, the big pile of popcorn spreads flames to a gigantic CostCo container of canola oil, and the next thing you know the whole fucking building goes up like a goddamn Texas trailer park. Let’s see the lazy shits at the fire department bitch and whine about that.