So I get a submission in from an agent on 10/13 and the account expires on 11/1. I review said submission and look at the pretty little binder Mr. Agent sent me. I conclude that it is a submission of crap. There is no application. No payroll information. I can barely read the loss information. I can’t do anything with this.
Sigh. I shoot off a polite email to Mr. Agent and outline for him everything I need to quote the account for him. I gently remind him that I need around 60-90 lead time to pull something together and an 11/1 account is going to be tough to do anything on but I will try if he can get the data to me.
He responds and tells me that he is really busy and will try to get the data to me as soon as he can but could I go ahead and get started with what he sent me already? Ummmmm…No…If I send this to any of my markets they will laugh at me. They can’t do anything with this account without the info I have requested.
I again, politely, explain to Mr. Agent that I will need the data in order to proceed. He huffs and he puffs and he agrees to send it to me when he can. Okay. No problem. I put the account to the side of my desk.
Fast forward to this morning. I come in and have an email from Mr. Agent with all the data I asked for. Great. I now basically have 7 days in which to try and pull something together. Peachy.
I call a friend of mine at a company in TX and give him the basics, unofficially, and ask if he could possibly help me out. He says if I will overnight him the submission he can knock it out for me and he thinks it will actually come in lower than what they are paying now. Perfect.
Great! I call Mr. Agent and leave him a message telling him I think I can pull it off and that I have found a market to work with us.
I get a hapy voice mail from him later saying he is thrilled. He wants me to call him back and let him know which market and discuss how to proceed.
I am feeling quite good about myself and how I have managed to actually do something with this Submission O Crap so I call Mr. Agent back thinking he will heap mounds of praise on my dedication and hard work on his behalf.
He asks me what market I am using and I being to tell him. I haven’t gotten the complete company name out of my mouth and I hear…
“WHAT? Are you kidding me? This is SO inappropriate. I can’t BELIEVE this.”
I am naturally confused so I begin to ask Mr. Agent what the problem is.
He tells me that about 5 years ago he got screwed by this company and he refuses to work with them.
Okay, jackass…how would I know that? You never told me I had any restrictions on which market to use. You just told me to get it done.
I politely apologize and tell him that it’s okay…I won’t use that market but that I gotta say it isn’t looking good for any other markets that I have. Given the nature of his account and the short time frame I will probably not be in a position to help him.
Mr. Agent, while foaming at the mouth, tells me he wants the complete submission withdrawn and an apology letter to him from me that I would ever consider treating him and his account in such a manner.
What. The. Fuck.
You have got to be kidding me.
I took your shitty ass piece of cow manure submission and got a friend to say he would do it for you. I got a ballpark estimate of a LOWER amount than what you are paying right now. And because you had a bad experience that I knew nothing about FIVE FREAKING YEARS ago you actually think I’m going to send you an apology letter?
I tell Mr. Agent that the submission hasn’t been officially submitted to the company…that this was all done on a phone call. He says he doesn’t care. He can’t believe I would do this. Blah.Blah.Blah.Blah.
He is literally ranting and screaming at me. I take a deep breath and tell him that I will mail his submission binder back to him and I apologize if he feels I did not handle his account in the manner it should have been.
He then says, “But I want you to take it to another market. Surely you have somebody else you can take it to?”
I explain AGAIN that there isn’t a market out there that is going to take a long haul trucking risk and pull something together for him in 7 days.
“Long hauling trucking” he says, “What are you talking about? They only do short haul.”
I pull out the application he emailed to me and it clearly says this is a LONG HAUL TRUCKING risk.
I explain THIS to him and he says, “It most certainly is not. I don’t know where you got that from.”
Okay. Check please. I’m done.
I say, “Well, if your submission wasn’t lacking virtually every piece of data that I needed and if I had gotten it oh, maybe a month or so in advance I might have been able to help you out but I can’t take a risk like this and pull a quote from my ass by 11/1.”
Mr. Agent then says, “11/1? This is a 12/1 account. Where are you getting 11/1? I have a 30 day extension.”
OFF OF YOUR FUCKING INTRODUCTION LETTER YOU MORON! YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT ANY EXTENSION.
Your letter begins: Hope you can help me out with an account I have coming up 11/1.
Apology letter? It will be a cold day in hell and pigs will come shooting out of my anus before I send this fruitcake any apology letter. In fact, every account I see come across my desk from him from now on will go to the bottom of the pile.
How do some people actually run a business when they are this clueless?