So there’s this couple I spend an evening with one night a week. They’re generally nice enough folks and all but one thing that just bugs me is that they don’t keep a box of tissues in the house. Ever. I’ve known them for 13 years and there’s never been a tissue box. My feeling is that tissues are one of the things that a good host has on hand for guests. It’s as odd to me for them not to have a box of tissues as it would be if they didn’t provide toilet paper. Not that I’d ever say anything to them because that would be rude, but if I forget to grab a packet of tissues before I leave for their place I find myself having to blow my nose on or sneeze into the aforementioned toilet paper or a paper napkin (if they have those, which they often don’t). Is not providing Kleenex a mark of a bad host or is a box of tissues too much for a guest to expect?
Honestly, if you’re a once-a-week-without-fail guest, I probably wouldn’t go out and buy Kleenex in preparation for your visit if it wasn’t something we kept around usually. At that level of intimacy, I won’t mop my floors before you come, you can get your own drink out of the fridge, and use the same (not the cheap kind) soft toilet paper I use to blow my nose.
For a party, a once in a while guest or my in-laws, I buy Kleenex. Brand name, even.
Man, I have allergies out the wazoo. Besides which, my nose runs like a faucet if it’s below 40 degrees outside. If somebody doesn’t have Kleenex, I’m not there. Especially if they have dogs or cats but not Kleenex.
I don’t keep kleenex in my house, either. We use toilet paper (or a cat) if we sneeze or blow or what have you. I’d like to be a kleenex person sometimes, but I never think of it when I’m at the store. We don’t have guests all that often (except the aforemention “always there” guy) so I’m not all that worried about offending. I will try to remember to pick some up.
I carry those pocket packs of tissues in my pockets or purse. It never occurred to me to expect the people I am visiting to provide tissues for me. So, I don’t think it’s rude, but I honestly never thought about it until you brought it up. I want to ask my husband what he thinks, since he has severe allergies and needs them more than I do… although he does mooch of of me and my pocket packs.
Yeah, now that I’m over 20, I do think that Kleenex should be available to guests. I didn’t think that previously, but over the years I’ve decided that it’s really kind of awkward to make your guests go pull toilet paper off the roll. I’ll do it and all, but it doesn’t seem to me to be exactly the epitome of gracious hosting. (Not saying you’re immature, WhyNot, just that I’ve changed my thinking over time.)
Perhaps I have abnormally low expectations of my hosts, but really… Kleenex?
If they invite me over for dinner and fail to feed me, that’s rude. If they invite me to spend the weekend without a warning that I’m sleeping on the floor, that’s rude. If they invite me over and then spend the evening arguing, that’s rude.
Failing to provide me with Kleenex is a harmless oversight, especially when it’s something that’s so easy for me to bring with me.
No, you’re right, it’s not gracious hosting at all. I graciously host to those who are gracious guests, but a once-a-week friend to me is family, not “guest” and I don’t graciously host to family, I guess.
Although if I knew someone had allergies or a headcold, I would get some tissues, now that you mention it. It’s the only time I get tissues for my lives-in-the-house family, either.
Why are you people constantly blowing your nose? I don’t understand…
To clarify, I’m not the only guest they ever have. I wouldn’t expect them to buy a box of tissue for just me, although I wouldn’t think it unreasonable either. It just wouldn’t occur to me not to have something like Kleenex available for guests.
I’m not understanding this. When my nose is running, you know what I do? I grab a wad of toliet paper. Works just as well as Kleenex and cheaper too.
I don’t use special paper just for wiping my boogers. I suppose it might be nice to have two different kinds of paper, one for the butt and one for the nose, but it would also be nice if Sprite flowed incessantly from the kitchen sink.
I’m with DianaG. Feed me, entertain me (or let me entertain myself), give me a place to shower and sleep. But help me contain my snot? Uh…I can do that myself. What’s next? Expecting your host to provide you with maxi pads?
Exactly. Someone who is coming over to my house every week knows the drill and don’t need me to take care of them. And I’d be pissed off if such a visitor complained about me not having something they could easily go to the store and get themselves. Otto, if you want Kleenex, be a good guest and bring a box with you the next time you visit. The whole guest-host thing is a two-way street when you’re as intimate as you are with this couple.
A bad host wouldn’t keep inviting you over, and I think it’s rude that you even phrased the question like that.
I don’t view it as rude vs. not rude, it’s just one of those things that determines how comfortable or generally pleasant a person’s place is, and everyone has a personal preference for what they like. Having tissues available seems to fall into the category of “things that I happen to like in my environment”, and visiting someone who doesn’t have a lot of things in this category present simply means I will more than likely not be very comfortable and should bear that in mind (bring my own tissues, don’t stay for dinner, whatever).
My wife and I feel very strongly ourselves about having simple amenities like tissues available in our house, for us and for visitors. So we have tissues, a pen and paper by the phone, clean hand towels in both bathrooms, soap at all the sinks, clean drinking glasses, whatever. On the other hand, we are friends with someone who seems to never have purchased a box of tissues in her life, who doesn’t own a single pen or pencil in the entire place, and when we’ve been over for dinner had to rinse out pasta sauce jars one time for us to drink out of (they don’t really have or see the need for drinking glasses). It’s not a politeness or a hosting issue, it’s just a difference in how people live.
I’ve never ever even considered such a thing. But that’s because I dont use Kleenex. Hell, I can’t think of the last time I had to blow my nose at all.
Because of this thread, if I ever happen to invite people over semi-formally, I will be sure to have Kleenex available.
If I invite you over to watch a movie or play X-Box, you can bring your own damn tissues.
Now that’s an interesting visual.
And I wouldn’t buy tissues for guests. Occasionally they are available if I’ve already bought them for myself. But they live on the toilet tank so the guest would have to go in the bathroom anyway, same as if they used the toilet paper.
It’s all I can do to remember that guests need napkins.
I actually try really hard to have that sort of stuff around, along with things like both sugar and Splenda, or extra toothbrushes. But to me, that’s not the difference between a good host and a bad host, that’s the difference between a good host and an *exceptionally * good host. Expecting your hosts to anticipate and accommodate your **every ** need is too much to ask.
We have 'em around too, both for ourselves because of allergies and just to make guests feel at home. But if the box is empty because someone kept coming over every week and using 'em up, then I’d think them rude if they didn’t occasionally replenish what they’re exhausting… or I’ll go buy them some while they finish mowing my yard.
Weird. I keep a box of kleenex in every room in the house. And a paper waste can in every room too. They’re there for me whether or not guests are around.
I hate having a sneeze surprise me; why should I have to run to the bathroom? What if someone else is using it? It’s not like sneezes can be easily delayed. I prefer not spreading mucus into the air or my clothing or hands. Thus, easily found tissues in every room.
Miss Manners says that each person should carry their own handkerchief. I have bad allergies and while I might ask for a tissue when I go someplace, I don’t think host are rude if they don’t have any. I do try to have some in my purse, but sometimes I forget or my husband takes them out of my purse and I fall back to toilet paper.
I also keep my tissues in the bathroom, but for a very specific reason.
Someone blowing their nose in front of me makes me gag.
I prefer, if possible, that all expulsions of bodily fluids be done in private.
I hate handkerchiefs and I am another who has a tissue box in every room of the house. I have allergies myself. I would find it weird if I couldn’t find a single tissue anywhere. But it’s not rude, no, just…a little odd to me.