I bartend. I stand behind a large marble-finished bar. I have a logo shirt on. I am usually pouring drinks.
And yet a (merciful) few people have walked up and said, “Excuse me…do you work here?”
“No. They just haven’t noticed me yet.”
Most people “get it” at that point, but some people–honest to God–say, “Oh,” and then walk away, still searching for an Actual Employee.
This has happened at every single job I’ve ever had, and I’ve never had a job that didn’t require some sort of employee identification. (Logo apron, shirt, name tag, etc.)
I’ve also had people walk up and say:
“Do you serve beer here?”
“Can I get a drink here?”
“Are you the bartender?”
“I’ll be 21 in six months; is that close enough?”
Even more appalling was the waitress who walked up to me and said, “I have a guy at my table who’ll be 21 next year. I can serve him, right?”
When I took the class for TABC certification, the instructor said, “You can’t cure stupid. You have to kill it.”
A colleague of mine asked me if the Chelsea Flower Show was held at Hampton Court. (Nope- clue is in the title, though)
She later asked me if the film ‘Notting Hill’ was set in Brixton.
Later still, when we were on a business trip together in Germany, we were talking about the communication difficulties we were having with our hosts. “Yes,” she agreed, “sometimes I feel like I’m speaking to them in a foreign language”
When I did technical training, I would try to encourage the class to ask questions. My saying was “There’s no such thing as a stupid question…at least I used to think that until I started teaching this course, so ask it anyway and we’ll try not to make too much fun of you.”
My sister used to make little clay angels and sell them at craft shows. I was helping her one day when a lady approached and said “I’ve bought your stuff before, didn’t you used to sell angels?”
I replied yes, these are all angels.
“No, not these…angels.”
Me again with yes, these are all angels
“No, you used to have these little angels, I bought them before.”
So I say “I’m not sure how to answer this without being sarcastic, but there are two-hundred little angels in front of you. Actually, we don’t sell anything else but little angels.”
“Hmmm” she says, looks around a little more, then walks away.
Maybe she meant really little angels or something.
I worked at a beach resort one summer during college and got some real doosies. I assume the people were on vacation and naturally forgot to pack their brain. Gems such as…
Where is the beach? Um… you’re standing on it
Is the ocean heated? It is if you stand near a group of kids.
When do the dolphins go by? Let me check their schedule…
Is that the Atlantic ocean? You drove here. You tell me.
Can you turn the waves down?
oh, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease - may i add that to my new sig?
and thanks to Biggirl for dredging up the link to past gems. that’s where i found the quote i appropriated for my existing sig. i was practically staggering down the hallway in tears here at work, i was laughing so hard after i read it. (i was heading to the kitchen area to hide out, so people wouldn’t think i was having some sort of seizure at my desk.)
I don’t ask stupid questions but I make stupid comments.
Just the other night I was fed up with listening to the kids gripe about dinner I was cooking. After all three picked on the meal I yelled at them “I’m not cooking for my health”
I had to have a prescription filled for my cat. On the Rx label, they put my last name, then “feline,” then my cat’s name. At the checkout, the woman asked, "How do you pronounce your first name - “fi-LEEN”? I explained to her that the Rx is for my cat, that’s why it says “feline.” So she said, "Oh, so your name is pronounced “FEE-line”? She didn’t have a clue why everyone in line was laughing.
I work in a small town public library. Working the information/checkout desk brings many stupid questions. Several weeks ago I actually had a man walk up to the desk and ask “Do you have any books written by people?”.
In response to a question from the class, my high school Latin teacher once said, “There are no stupid questions, but if there were, that would be one.”
I used to work at Disney where it apparently is customary for tourists to check their brains at the turnstile.
Stupidest question: “When will it stop raining?”
Second most stupid question:
Tourist: “I’m looking for the exit to the park”
Einmon: “You walk past the big sphere that looks like a golf ball” points to Spaceship Earth which is so big it towers over the park and frightens animals and people alike
Tourist: *looks intently in direction of biggest sphere on Earth (maybe barring the world’s biggest Ball of Twine but still big)
A few years back, we had a minor earthquake. The woman across the street asked indignantly, “Why didn’t they **tell **us there was gonna be an earthquake?”
When I was still working on cars for a living I would wear my uni home, and change there.
Often I would stop somewhere on the trip home to do some shopping. Apparently I have the generic employees face.
So there I am standing in the middle of a Target store
(Pop quiz What is Target’s corprate color? red right?)
So there I am standing in a dirty (I’ve been fixing cars all day) **light blue ** shirt, dirty **dark blue ** pants and person after person would walk up to me and ask me either A) I worked there or B) Where was the garden dept. :smack:
I finally gave up and starting going home and changed before I went shopping, I got tired being flypaper for freaks.
Everytime I think of this question I just sigh. I still don’t think my jaw has returned to its closed position.
Little background the class is AP European History. As in ADVANCED Placement. Meaning this was probably a the girls 4 history class in her high school career. And also let me say that one of the requried courses at our school is economics.
We are about 1-2 weeks before the AP test (the test covering the entire year) getting a quite spat of review and when the instructor is done he asks if there are any questions. Please note that this is supposed to be an honors college level course. And also note that he did not say lets show how stupid we can be.
So the girl in question raises her hand and in all seriousness asks…
What is capitialism?
Yes she asked what is capitialism. You could hear 20 jaws hitting the floor and suprisingly the instructor actually answered it seriously.
Grim