Since there is no OP (damn those hamsters!) I will weigh in with the opinion of a lifelong* Florida resident.
Primitive wasteland all the way. 
*since i was a few mos. old anyway
No automobile inspections, and stip malls, strip malls, strip malls, as far as the eye can see. Feh. I have no idea how most of my family can stand living in Florida (though I do like the Keys).
But I would point out that hard-core libertarians would leave inspection requirements up to the people who own the roads–which, of course, would not be the government.
A primitive wasteland simply would not have so many titty bars.
Arkansas hasn’t had vehicle inspections for a long while. Strangely enough, they don’t seem any worse for it.
No inspections in Illinois, either (unless one got added in the last few years, but i doubt it)
True story:
Jim owns a bike shop in New Jersey (that’s “bike” as in “Harley Davidson”, not “Schwinn”). He never misses a Florida BikeWeek. He and the Missus, Mary Beth by name, are on their way to Biketoberfest in Daytona Beach. He’s driving a van, towing a camper, and he’s also towing a bike trailer, which he designed himself, behind the camper. As becomes clear later on in the story, apparently the bike trailer is permanently fastened somehow to the camper–it’s not being towed with a regular ball-and-tow-bars trailer hitch.
About 20 miles from home, another camper rig blasts past them and then swerves back over in front of them, and when Jim brakes sharply for the Idjit, his entire rig goes fishtailing wildly across four lanes of traffic before finally, mercifully, going off the road into a grove of trees. The rig, amazingly, does not flip–the only damages are a flat tire on the camper and a broken window on the van. Jim and Mary Beth, amazingly, walk away (no doubt they had their seat belts fastened). They tape the window, fix the flat and keep driving.
Halfway to Virginia, they realize that the camper and bike trailer combination are still swaying constantly. They pull into a motorcycle repair shop, and figure out that the bike trailer is pulling the camper down–it’s just too much dead weight back there, hanging off the back camper axle, the balance is all messed up.
They also discover that some of the camper’s lug nuts are loosening up because of the violence of the sway–it’s just working them loose. Jim says, “Installing sway bars won’t help this”, and he cuts the bike trailer away from the camper with a welding torch. He loads up his Harley into the van and keeps driving, stopping to tighten up the camper’s lug nuts every couple of hours.
And so there they are now, comfortably esconced in their campground, waiting for Biketoberfest to begin. And you may be wondering what’s the point of this story–well, here’s the punch line:
So, see? Federally mandated door-to-door weekly vehicle safety inspections are the ONLY means to keep clueless doofuses who don’t know that you can’t simply add a set of wheels to a bike rack and weld it to the back of your camper off the streets.
Not.
I’ve been in FL since 1987, and I don’t remember any vehicle inspections in that time (I didn’t own a car until a few years later, so maybe there were some before 1990 or so).
We had emission inspections until Jeb Bush eliminated them 3 or 4 years ago. I don’t miss having to get that done, it was always a big pain the nuts. I never had one fail, and maybe so few failed the inspections that it might have actually caused more pollution than it prevented, what with burning fuel for the extra trips to the testing place.
Florida has vehicle inspections up until the early 80’s. I remember going with my dad to the testing place to get our vehicles checked.
I don’t ever remember emissions testing though. When did that happen? Maybe one week when I was out of town 
I feel like Coleridge after he was interrupted while writing Xanadu.
I can never hope to recapture the brilliance of my OP, so I will not try.
Sua
Here in New South Wales, the inspections seem to get stricter each year. But they are still as crooked as hell.
I took an old car to get inspected. While I was talking to the mechanic, another car came into the lot at high speed, and skidded to a stop. The driver was the mechanic’s young apprentice. He walked over to us and handed the mechanic a slip of paper.
“Your brakes are good”, said the mechanic to me., with a smile. The brake testing machine for my inspection had been used in the mechanic’s own car.
No inspections in California. Not many titty bars, either.
Is there a connection?
Peace,
mangeorge
I’ve always thought this was pretty much a scam. An excuse to stimulate the local economy with bogus repairs.
Twice, in two different states, my vehicle “failed” inspection. Once for brakes and once for the muffler. Each time, I knew the so-called offending part was okay. So, I went to Midas or wherever (where I had my previous brake/muffler work) and had them look at it. Just as I thought–no problem.
I got them to put it in writing, took my complaint and evidence back to the inspection station, and spoke with the manager. Apologies and a valid sticker followed. But what about people who unwittingly just go along with the scam?
Another time, my vehicle “failed” because my gear shift lever/knob did not have the shift pattern etched or drawn on it. Like I don’t know where first gear or reverse is? Sure, it’s not a big deal to make my way over to Auto-Shack and buy a new knob, but it’s still an inconvenience.
I’ve heard that several states have done away with the inspections (Tennessee? Arizona?) because of complaints like this and the fact that it costs the states more money to implement the program than they were making off it.
I did like the way one of my inspections went in Louisiana:
mechanic: “Did it pass last year?”
me: “yeah”
mechanic: “okay; honk the horn, left blinker, right blinker, tap the brakes–you’re good to go”
It was a shock when Maryland put my car up on the lift; took the tires off; played with mechanical things for about an hour, and then drove it around. I didn’t know they were even allowed to do that. Live and learn, I guess.
Except for Smog Check.
Nah, Californians don’t bother with nudie bars because they can always jaunt on down to Tijuana for the weekend. The nudie bars in Tijuana aren’t “hands-off” establishments like they are north of the border.
Mars Horizon, true story (allegedly): We had vehicle inspections (true) until Bob Graham (then Governor, now Senator) (true) failed a vehicle inspection (allegedly). RV, light problem. (Got that, or should I add a few more “()”?)
You can still be cited by the cops for anything that the inspections would have turned up.
Geez, another FL bashing thread. Fine. Yanquis, go home! If it sucks, please leave. Being the fourth (I think, lazy / loaded) largest state is all I can handle anyway.
**
then what were those establishments on the street near the library i passed two weeks ago? They sure weren’t reading rooms!
Well yeah, in San Francisco. But they’re required by law there, aren’t they.
Yep, vehicle “safety” inspections are a basically a scam perpetuated by the “repair” shops that maintain them, the bureaucracies that “manage” the paperwork and the politicians that receive “campaign contributions” from those groups to continue them.
Bottom line is who do you trust to maintain a safe car?
You or big government?
Strangely enough many of these states are located in so-called conservative areas that poo poo big government while maintaining this state sponsored lunacy.
So, next year, I like all other Virginia drivers will have to wait in line during my precious time to allow a garage to “examine” my new car.
Which has regular maintanence of course.
Oh so sorry, only garages associated with gas stations are “authorized” Virgina “safety” inspection stations.
Yep, you got it. Even after having necessary, repairs done on one of my older vehicles, my garage couldn’t give the car the “safety” inspection. Go wait in line at a gas station.
Economists call it rent seeking - the establishment by government of unecessary monopoly costs.
Yeah, go ahead, tell me its about safety.
Across the river in Maryland, cars are inspected only at the time of acquiring a Maryland license - at a state run facility.
(Which for every single new car isn’t necessary either.)
These annually uninspected cars run throughout Northern Virginia daily - and do not cause any accidents due to faulty maintenance.
Bottom line - junk the rent seeking.
Does this mean dangerous junks on the road?
No. Maryland cars drive in Northern Virginia already. Laws exist already to cite and remove cars from the road that are not properly maintained.
Trust the people.
A tough concept.
dos centavos
Highschool boys in brand new Mustangs scare me a lot more than a middle aged farmer in a ratty smoking old picup truck.
Hey, Nixon, you think it’s bad now? When I moved to VA, back in the dark days of the mid-1970s, we had inspections every six friggin’ months!
It was especially thrilling when, like me at the time, you were driving a car that you’d bought with a credit card (I’m not kidding - a $600 VW convertible without an undented body panel on it). Fortunately, someone in my office discovered an inspection station where, as he put it, “if you don’t have a windshield, they’ll put the sticker on the dash.”