My wife and I don’t answer our telephone. We have an answering machine, and we screen calls 100% of the time. If it’s someone we want to talk to, we pick up when they start to leave a message. If not, wait and erase. If we’re watching a movie, turn the volume off and there’s not even any ringing or messages to disturb us. It’s a quite effective system.
We also don’t have a phone in our bedroom. I don’t like getting woken up by the phone before I’m ready to get up, so I went with the obvious solution. This has some unforseen advantages. Mrs. Six is an assistant manager at a fast food place. We get a message from early in the morning a couple of times a week on average, usually at about 5:30, asking her to come in on her day off to work for someone who called in sick. Of course, since she gets up at 8 or 9 on her days off, by the time she returns the call, they almost always have someone else. Plus, I’m not waken a half hour early because the idiot manager cannot figure out that certain employees call in sick nearly every Thursday (These same employees have asked Mrs. Six to take their shift on several occasions because they expect to have a hangover Thursday. Here’s how to fix this problem, Dimwits: Don’t get drunk the night before you’re scheduled to work, and you won’t have a hangover.)
I haven’t talked to anyone on the phone that I didn’t want to talk to in several years. My family thinks this behavior is strange, bordering on bizarre, but I haven’t talked to a telemarketer this millenium. So far the only downside is that roughly six different debt collectors in succession have been persistently leaving messages for some woman I’ve never heard of, but who apparently had my phone number before I did, some eight years ago.
I suppose I see answering the phone as a social custom that makes little logical sense to me, and as it causes no harm to me or anyone else for me to let it ring, it’s one that I don’t feel compelled to honor.
Lately, my Father has been insisting that we have to get a cell phone. I don’t think he really understands my attitude towards phones.
Your father is probably like me and hates answering machines with a passion. You have a right to use your answering machine in anyway you please. But he has the right to hate what you’re doing. If it were me I’d probably stop calling you, but only after I’d disowned you and written you out of my will.
Heck, I’d say you’re being too easy on callers. I have a telephone and no answering machine. I usually just turn off the ringer and don’t answer the phone. I figure I wouldn’t have wanted to talk to most of the people calling me anyway.
I’ve had the following conversation:
“We tried to call you to tell you to ask you something about work but we couldn’t get you to answer your phone.”
“Yup, I don’t like to talk to people on the phone so I turn it off.”
“You turn off your phone? How can people call you?”
“They can’t. It’s a very effective system for not talking to people on the phone.”
“But what if we had a really important question to ask you?”
“I guess you could drive out and ask me.”
“You live forty five minutes away.”
“You’re the one that said it was important.”
“What if it was an emergency and I was calling you?”
“if it’s an emergency, you shouldn’t be calling me. You should be calling for the police or the fire department or an ambulance.”
We do the same, actually, so you’re not the only one. I figure…we’re paying for voicemail, so we may as well use it. If it’s not important enough to leave a message, then you shouldn’t have been calling in the first place. The only exception is when I’m expecting a call, like for a phone interview or when my girlfriend is on break and she calls to chitchat, then I do answer the phone around when I expect them to call.
Besides, everyone I know who’d have a good reason to contact me knows I prefer email and will answer it faster, leaving just about everyone who’d call in the “Probably someone I don’t want to talk to” category.
I do not like the phone. I sometimes have a phobia about it—I hate calling other people, but yet I can be a big blabbermouth when I do actually get on the phone.
Years ago an old friend went through a bad depression and one of the things she did was call everyone up, A LOT, day after day after day, complaining and bitching about this and that. It was a drain, but she was going through a tough patch so I didn’t want to scream at her. I tried different methods to avoid her calls without actually freaking out at her (which was the right thing to do) and eventually her depression passed and she’s never done that again. But that experience left me with a permanent loathing for telephones.
I used to have answering machines, caller ID, that kind of thing, to avoid telemarketers. Now, because of the Do-Not-Call list, I have no need for them. Also, I live with my sister and I know that if any family member has an emergency they’ll call her number, not mine. So there really is no reason to answer my phone unless I feel like it. I have given my cell/voicemail number to a few select friends, and that’s it. There are also a few friends who are fellow night owls and will call in the middle of the night. I’ll take their calls because I know it’s them and I enjoy talking to them.
My apathy about answering the phone annoyed my previous employers no end, because they often would call everyone to get someone to cover a shift. But they hardly ever got to me. Because I don’t answer the phone. Ain’t it grand?
Some people cannot fathom that I don’t give a shit about answering the phone. It’s like they are a slave to the phone and think everyone else should be one as well. But I’m not buying into that.
I agree! You don’t have to answer your phone, you don’t have to answer your door, and you don’t have to answer a question just because it’s been asked. But anyone adopting this philosophy will be regarded as if they just landed from another planet.
People have actually gotten angry with me for not answering the phone, and when I explained that I was in the middle of something and didn’t want to answer, they wanted to know what I was in the middle of. I then explained that I wasn’t going to tell them as it would only invite a debate as to whether or not, in their opinion or mine, it was important enough for me to not answer the phone. This, of course, only led to more frustration on their part, but it worked. End of discussion!
I answer my mobile as it has caller I.D and only people I want to speak to have the number anyway. I don’t usually answer the house phone. As its nearly always for someone else, and I don’t want to go up 2 flights of stairs to tell my house mate someones on the phone for her if I’m watching a good programme or I’m just busy. If they want to speak to me, they can call my mobile. (No one else in my house seems to like answering the phone either.)
I do this too. The speaker and ringer are turned off, but if the house is quiet I can hear the machine start up. I recon the ratio of hang-ups to messages is about 100-1.
I will sometime answer my phone with caller ID as long as a number comes up, if it says restricted, private or such, sorry I won’t answer. Also I have turned off the phone for long times, had mine off since about 4 pm yesterday, and it’s still off at 7:30 am.
Also I am a firm beleiver that if the phone rings, that doesn’t mean you are required to answer it.
I’ve always thought phones were the scourge of the Earth. I rememeber when my brother and sister were living with us. They were Djays at the local skating rink and were pretty popular at school. To say they were social would be a huge understatement…they were also never home. And yet I was, and had to deal with the thousands of phone calls that our house recieved daily. After a while I just started hanging up on people, and yelling at them. They were upset with me for doing this, but as far as I way concerned, I had as much of a right to yell and hang up on the people calling me as someone has to yell at a yapping dog to shut the hell up. Ever since then, I have loathed phones. Of course this didn’t stop my friends mom from buying me a cell phone for my 18th birthday. I put it in the top drawer of my dresser after the cursed thing started beeping, and wouldn’t stop, never to come out again. Ugh. I hate it when people don’t listen. :mad:
Being a small business owner, I get a lot of calls on both business and home phones. It used to drive me nuts, but I made basically the same decision as you.
Call my home phone and you’ll never get an answer. Leave the right numeric message or page (if I give you my number) and I 'll usually get back to you within minutes.
But my wife and I have got this strange dynamic going with one of her brothers; he refuses to leave a message or own voice mail or machine. Nor does he pick up the phone everytime you call him. So the sequence to call him goes something like this:
He calls and hangs up without message, no message means we call a while later. He doesn’t answer and no message possible, we hang up. He calls a bit later and hangs up. We see a new call and call him back within 15-20 minutes. Half the time he picks up, the other not…and so it goes until we finally both pick up (any where from 1/2 hour to 2 hours effort.
I have been a phone ignorer for years. If I’m home and the phone rings I will often only answer if I feel like talking to someone. My phone at the moment is an Orange, that is a landline free phone at home with normal home phone rates but when I leave the house it is a mobile. People can ring my home number and I get the call wherever I am. Today at work the phone rang, I took it out if my pocket, looked at it and put it back until it stopped ringing. Someone asked what I was doing “Restricted number,” I said, “telemarketting.” She wanted to know how I could be sure. “Wait and see if I get any voicemail beeps,” I said and no message was left. She looked as though she thought I should have taken the call.
I am always amused by people who become annoyed with you for not being immediately available whenever they ring.
My SO & I frequently just ignore the phone, unless it’s someone we want to talk to. We both have cell phones (no land line) which have caller ID - if it isn’t someone we know AND want to talk to at that moment, we don’t answer.
Unfortunately, his over-30-year-old brothers don’t seem to understand that we’re not at their beck and call 24-7. I love 'em like brothers myself, but they drive me nuts with the phone calls. They call his phone and leave a message. Then they call his phone again, hoping he’ll pick up. Then they call my phone and leave a message asking me to have him call them. All within the space of 5 minutes, and without any thought that we might be in bed, in the shower, eating supper, or otherwise occupied.
Brother the eldest really took the cake last weekend - he’s learned not to call my phone (finally) unless it’s an emergency, but apparently doesn’t extend that to anyone else. He actually telephoned a mutual friend’s line to track down my SO when we didn’t answer our phones (we happened to be visiting that evening). What was so important? I think he just wanted to talk about computer upgrades. bangs head on desk
Ooh, I’m with all of you. I hate talking on the phone and screen all of my calls too. Most of the time, regardless of if I’m doing homework or watching t.v., I just don’t feel like talking on the phone. When I lived at home and somebody else would answer the phone, I’d hold my breath and think please don’t be for me, please don’t be for me. I usually give people my email address instead of phone number for contact info.
And cell phones? Eeeeegh! No! I have one, but nobody has the number (except my parents), and I only got it for safety when I drive. I can’t understand people who carry their cell phone with them everywhere and every minute of the day. I just want to ask them, don’t you ever want to be unavailable?
I learned years ago to ignore the phone or even turn off the ringer and let the machine do the work I acquired it for.
As a property manager, my phone can be very busy and many tenants think nothing of calling at midnight to complain about a burned out light bulb.
My mom and brother were staying out here with us a couple years ago when the phone started ringing during dinner and I’d forgotten to turn the machine on. We all went on with our dinner except mom and bro who were franticlly glancing around the table and at each other. It probably rang about 10 times before they both bolted from the table and tripped over each other to get to the phone.
Growing up, I always confused my sisters, because I could be sitting right next to the phone when it rang, and I wouldn’t bother picking it up. Since then, I have gone months at a time without ever picking up the phone unless I knew who it was. Telephones exist for the convenience of the owner of the phone.
Nowadays, I have only a cellphone which displays caller information. I still only answer when I decide it is convenient. Everyone knows this though, and if they want me calling them back, then they leave a message. If not, then it must not be important.
Having a phone is a matter of convenience. It does not mean that whoever has the number has the right to speak to you at that moment. You may or may not speak to them when it’s convenient for you.
I don’t answer the phone at home - I have to answer it at work and that’s enough. At home, I have callerID - If I want, I’ll call them back later. I have a cell at work for family emergencies. My mother doesn’t understand the word “emergency”. She’ll call (while I’m on the work phone) and complain about not getting through, and then go off on a stream of consciousness rant. So if I’m on the work phone, I’ll see who’s calling on the cell and call them back later.
Wait a sec - I need to clarify something. I don’t answer the phone at home if I’m conscious. Asleep (which is most of the time thanks to antihistamines) I’ll answer the phone, have a complete conversation, and remember nothing when I wake up. A friend of mine called one afternoon last week when I was sick and home asleep. She called back later when my husband was home and asked if I was OK. She had been talking to me about music, and I had responded with answers about moving furniture. Some people sleep-walk; I sleep-answer-the-phone.
If you want me to respond you better e-mail me. I live way out in the country where cell phones do not work. You can leave me a voice mail on it but I probably won’t check it until the next day. ( I only have it for work and they pay for it.) My ground line had lighting run in on it about a week ago. Destroyed the answering machine and it no longer rings. Haven’t gotten around to replacing it. I may not.
We rarely answer the phone at home, too. In general, I’ll answer during the day since I work at home, but if someone calls before 7:30 a.m. or anywhere during dinner or after, I’m off the clock and don’t bother picking up. Only my friends and family have my cell phone number, and they usually only call there if it’s an emergency. As far as I’m concerned, everyone else can wait. Most of my family understand why I don’t bother, but it does piss my sister off.
I used to answer the phone every time it rang, then I had an epiphany and realized that I’m not Pavlov’s dog, so I don’t have to jump everytime I hear a bell. Same goes for e-mail: I try to leave my IM off and my e-mail notification off unless I want people to be able to reach me fast.
It started one day when I was having a nap and the phone rang. I didn’t really want to get up, so in my head I quickly ran through which people I’d like to talk to, and the likelihood that it would be any one of them calling. Likelihood low (esp. with five roommates, who it also could have been for) so I left it. It was a very liberating moment, realizing that a ringing phone can be ignored !
The habit was cemented in a different house, when the six of us got into the practice of yelling ‘Not home!’ when the phone rang, so if some poor sucker was waiting for a call they wouldn’t pass it on to us. Worked beautifully.
And now me and my husband are just the same. We often get messages along the lines of ‘I know you’re there and you’re just not picking up the phone!’ Of course ! Why should that upset you so? Leave a message and we’ll call you back !
Pretty much the only way to be sure I’ll pick up is if my SO isn’t home - I’ll think it might be him calling from a pay phone so I’ll answer.
