If it was an old-fashioned marriage- the kind where the wife stays home and keeps house, and hasn’t acquired the skills she needs to hold a good job- then it seems reasonable for the husband to support her for a reasonable amount of time while she does some job training.
But even if she was that kind of wife, two years is more than reasonable. He should cut her off, cold.
2 years would get her through many,many job training programs. Heck, I have a retarded sister-in-law and she has a job.
I do think Mister is being a doormat and the Ex knows how to get to him, so the cycle continues. Now, bad for the Ex, you showed up and are putting a stop to their little co-dependant relationship. May I ask, who initiated their divorce? I am still old school enough to think it has to be something rather pressing (cheating/drug use/abuse) in order to go that route, even if their aren’t children. I would be curious the nature of their relationship, was she a helpless waif who he rescued from the harsh world? Or did she just become an incapable boob since then? Do you find he is easy to walk on? Do you catch yourself taking advantage of his niceness? Even in little ways?
The polite thing to do to someone that is a doormat is to NOT take advantage of them. To know that about them and abuse it, is well, shitty.
Is there a pit thread on this? I despise this kind of crap.
I’ve been with my SO for 9 years now and yet it would never occur to me if we broke up to ask him for a penny. Your husband is being a doormat, and needs to stand up for himself. And daring to ask for your money - whose money is this, actually, in savings? Your joint money? is wrong, wrong, wrong! She is not his responsbility.
If you want to couch this in slightly more. . . “caring” terms for your husband’s benefit:
By continuing to support her, he is contributing to her problem. Only when she has to rely on herself will she learn how to be self sufficient. By cutting her off, he’s doing her a favor.
You really want a picture of the 75% cat? Sicko!
MM- One more month at most- and that is it!
Wow!! Thanks for all the support. 
TMI warning for some background:
Still here? Ok, on with the show.
I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents, and sexually abused by a relative (my father’s brother-in-law). I know how someone can take love and loyality and twist it to their own ends. Being used and manipulated like that is a hard thing to shake off. (Hell, I’ve been in therapy for 10 years.)
I’m putting my foot down (and wishing Ex’s throat was under it). Also, my mantra to Mr. Maven is “You are not a bad person. I love you. Your family loves you. Your friends love you. Don’t let this one person color how you feel about yourself.”
Good for you for sticking to your guns! Your husband is being too soft, his ex should be able to take care of herself. At the very least, she’s her new bf’s responsibility now.
Also, I too would like to know about the 3/4 cat. You can’t post that then not tell us what it means!
Mouse maven I am kind of neutral on cat pics. But I’ll have you know you can’t talk about cats here and not post pics! They’ll come to your house, I’m telling you.
Once I have some digital pictures, I’ll post them I volunteered with a cat rescue and worked for the Humane Society. All my boys are scratch-and-dent.
Cast of Kitties:
Jake. My oldest cat. I’ve had him for 10 years and he was full grown when I caught him in a live trap. He weighed 6 pounds and I think at least a pound of that was worms! I nursed him back to health and got attached. He’s been a great foster-dad to young kittens, but has retired due to his age.
Elwood. The infamous Three-Quaters Cat. When he was a kitten someone hung on the top of a chain-link fence. :mad: He lost his hind right leg to gangrene. 
No one wanted a “handicapped” kitten. I took him home. (He looks just like Jake, so Elwood was the logical name. He’s also from the same area I caught Jake. I sometimes wonder if they are more than adopted brothers. . .)
Astrix. The kitten, just had his 1st birthday. He was born in my bedroom in typical cat fashion: in the closet, not in the birth box I prepared. Mr. Maven adopted him.
Damn, what a bitch!!!
No, no, not you, Mouse_Maven, the ex! A nasty piece of work, that one. Although if you can keep your wits about you, you can have a little fun with this. Next time she wails about becoming homeless, give her the addresses and phone numbers of some local homeless shelters.
Never having been divorced, I’m not too familiar with the process. At this late date (2 years post-divorce), does this ex have any options for getting court-ordered alimony, and, if so, how much?
Ah nasty things I have thought of:
I got anal training beads and lube at my bachelorette party. (Gotta love my friends :rolleyes: ). Send these to Ex with a note that says “Thanks to you, we don’t need these!”
Learn how to say “Fuck off and die” in German.
Send her a CD with The Eagle’s “Get Over It” playing over and over. . .
This is fun
Mouse, with all due respect, you knew the situation when you married him. He’s a spineless wimp.*
Either he gets one quick, or tumble to the fact that you’re going to be the backbone in the family.
I suggest separate bank accounts. As in yesterday. I know you love him, but he’s hurting you at the expense of his ex, to whom he owes NOTHING.
Change your phone number and get counseling with the hubby. He’s afraid of confrontation and has issues with misplaced loyalties. I’m afraid when the chips are down you may be left twisting in the wind while he runs for cover.
*In this area only, of course.
I don’t know how to do that, but you could call him “schweinhund” (pronounced shvine-hund, with emphasis on the first syllable). It means “pig-dog”, and is supposedly a fairly potent insult in German. I don’t know if it is used only for men, or could be applied to women as well.