Nobody move, or the penis gets it!

We call this the “Self Inflicted Lorena”

Good thing the girlfriend is in Poland, or he’d be in BIG trouble when he gets home.

Um. How about he goes from the inpatient acute care unit to the psychiatric one?
What would cause a person to do such a thing? I don’t believe for a minute about the GF in Poland-what I mean is, nice try trying to blame her. Can you imagine being the GF in Poland?

"let’s just turn on the news. Hmmm. Chicago is on the Polish news. What is this? Jakob Fik? OMG. What? He did what? "
“And all because I refused to give him a BJ unless he showered first…”

I’d say poor guy, but he did this to himself. WTH?

I know - I can hardly clip my nails without wincing.

I’m going to take some time today to promise my penis never ever to touch him with a knife.

Yeah riiiight. Cut off your dick, throw it at the fuzz, THEN go back in the house and get more knives. It’s as if the guy had heard one dumb-Polak joke too many.

Oh, man! I was talking about this with the ER nurse (one of ‘em) who treated this guy on Wednesday, and she says it was razored off cleanly - nothing left above the scrotum - and the scrotum was sliced open a little, revealing a pocket o’ testicles when viewed from above… They kept trying to ask him if he didn’t mean that his *girlfriend *did it (a la Bobbit), but nope, he insisted he did it to himself.

I’m glad they were able to reattach it, but this guy has some serious issues to work on!
(And yes, apparently the nurses were quietly humming “Detachable Penis” all afternoon.) :smiley:

Way I heard it:

He throws it out the window. It hits the windshield of a passing car, with a man and his wife inside.

The man goes “SHIT!”

Wife goes, “What?”

Man goes, “Damn, baby, did you see the dick on that bug!!!”

He must have been stoned or drunk or something.

I’ve taken care of three self-inflicted peniectomies (my word, not a medical term). In all three cases the man was bi-polar, having a psychotic break.
He is lucky he cut it cleanly, they’re hard to reattach when cut with a steak knife or scissors.

AND batshit crazy to begin with.

I know I shouldn’t but I can’t stop giggling. The title combined with the thread title (great job, Mr Bus Guy!) is hilarious.

And for a second I thought Mr Bus Guy was really threatening** Little Bus Guy**. :eek:


Holy shit, that is so incredibly disturbing and sad at the same ti me.


Nope. Tox screen came back clean. How nasty is that?

I think he was just plain nuts.

snerk Glad I wasn’t drinking my coffee at that moment.

Well, if he wasn’t before, he is now. :wink:

How about a hedge trimmer?


If ever there was a need for a spoiler tag and a TMI warning, this is it. :eek: