Contractions are an explosion of pain. I threw up during delivery. I was in labor for 52 hours and most of that was extremely painful. About a month later I was able to walk and sit without being in pain.
Not to say that a kick in the nuts isn’t painful, I just think that it really doesn’t compare to childbirth.
I’ve seen the pained look on men who have been hit in the nards to know that it must REALLY REALLY hurt, but I can’t for a moment claim to actually know how it feels. Nor would I try.
I agree with you that childbirth is REALLY REALLY painful but I do think you are being overly dramatic when you claim (as an observer only) that it is the worse pain imaginable. It is not.
Speaking as someone who has experienced natural childbirth (with complications), I can say with all sincerity that there are things that could hurt a hell of a lot worse.
JMHO but I think your opinion may be taken a bit more seriously if you stop with the over exaggerations and drama bits.
To the guys who honestly assume that a kick in the nuts would hurt more than childbirth: I don’t buy it.
Woud you rather get kicked in the nuts once, or spend 4-72 hours trying to shit a melon, with your abdomen writhing in spasmic pains and your asshole tearing?
C’MON, people!
Duration of time is not the same thing as pain intensity.
I would rather hit my thumb with a hammer than I would go to the doctor and get allergy shots for 72 straight hours. But which one hurts worse?
I have no doubts that the overall experience of childbirth is much worse than a kick to the nutsack. But might be because of the length of the pain? Is it fair to say that a kick to nuts might hurt as bad as childbirth for about 10 seconds? One will never know the other, so this is kind of a futile discussion.
But still, nuts and vaginas are fun to talk about, so here I am.
Just to add my completely anecdotal information for popular consumption:
Ex-GF had 2 children, 2 Kidney Stones, and a tattoo on her ankle. Pain Rankings, most to least were Tattoo, Stones, Kids. I could point out that if you look at it the right way, Kids give 18 years of agony per, but I’d have to put one of these "
" at the end of this sentence.
The original point of the OP was “Hey! Don’t kick people in the balls” which has descended into a bickering match over who feels more pain, with each sides trying to out-piss the other.
It’s a perfect setup: neither side can truly see the other’s, it’s a gender issue, the parameters are completely non-measurable, and the prize is sympathy from the other side!
The OP, IMHO, was directed at that particular class of women, perhaps people in general, who think that testicles are a perfect target of aggression, and choose them as such a target even when circumstances don’t warrant it. There are certainly no more uniquely male targets that cause such particular agony when abused as the testicles. But abusing them because their owner has merely pissed you off or happens to be the evil-male-testosterone-baddy example du jour is roughly akin to launching nuclear bombers against a country that decided to burn a flag or something. It’s way the fuck out of line.
Naturally, in case of assault please break 'nads.[sub] (or gouge eyes or rip off ears or break bones or shatter joints or whatever)[/sub]
To anyone who thinks I may have come off as exceptionally dickheaded or unnecesarily sarcastic, sorry. To Shrew, specifically, I don’t mean to be a dick all the time. I’d rather laugh than fight with you anyday.
It’s been a particularly stress filled week with me not getting nearly as much sleep or as much coffee as I like. I’m somewhat better, and a lot less grumpy now. Please excuse.
b.
Gosh, I knew what your response was gonna be like but I didn’t know you’d make it this easy on me. I can’t remember the last time I was able to respond to someone’s bullshit with nothing but quotes from my previous post.
here’s your post:
Simple enough. If her role in the discussion is as an observer, then she observes, doesn’t she. Or, in other words,
Please also apply this concept to all subsequent streams of bullshit:
Here’s more of your garbage:
You only came up with the crap about anecdotal evidence after shrew called you out for telling her she had no right to a voice in the discussion. So obviously, whatever you have to say about that doesn’t pertain to your original statement.
Did you actually fail to read my post, or were you just hoping that if you kept up your assault on logic long enough, I’d forget what I had already said?
What’s sad is that you didn’t even bother to get as creative in attacking me as I was in giving you an example of how to attack me. Anyway, you can say what you like, cast whatever aspersions on my intelligence will please you, what you said was not clear. The most ready interpretation of your post is that you didn’t think shrew had the experience necessary to express her opinion. The evidence is right there – everyone except you that read your post got that message from it.
And like I said – “maybe you don’t want to prove that. Maybe you actually agree with the words that you are writing. In that case, what the fuck are you complaining about? Just trying to pick a fight?” There’s no point to this debate about whether or not you meant to be an asshole originally. We’re only going to get deeper into it. The fact remains that this argument isn’t significant to the topic of this thread. And since you haven’t expressed your opinion on that in a while, I am inclined to conclude that you agree with the popular sentiment in this thread. The two kinds of pain cannot be compared.
So look. This isn’t helping anything. I think you actually agree with shrew and myself on the issue. All that remains is for you to apologize for saying something stupid. We all know you said it. You say you didn’t mean it. You messed up and pissed somebody off, so take responsibility for the miscommunication. It’s not that hard. ‘Whoops, my bad’ will do. You can even just quote where I just said it and I think it’d be accepted. I promise I won’t hassle you any more. I can’t speak for shrew but she’s already shown a remarkable inclination against holding grudges, so I would venture to guess she’d accept your apology.
Ah fuck, who owes who an apology now.
Billy Rubin, I apologize to you for any disparaging comments I have made about you in this thread. You’ve got class. Talk about a stream of bullshit, I spend 30 minutes writing out a post explaining why you should apologize, and before I finish, you’ve already done it. I sincerely apologize. I take it all back.
Wow. I can’t believe my ears didn’t spontaneously combust at work today.
White Lightening, thank you. I am much obliged.
Billy, I did in fact interpret the “You don’t deserve…” line as White Lightening suggested. The sentence was a bit confusing. Thank you for the apology, and I still appeciate you being gracious about yesterday’s misunderstanding.
Yes, several people have already refuted that statement of mine. Clearly, I was indulging in histrionics. Thank you, however, for the constructive criticism.
Now that we have been gently led back to the OP (thanks MLC),
let me just say that I had NO FREAKIN IDEA how terrible this pain must be until quite recently.
SO and I were in Home Depot, I’m tired, frazzled, covered in paint, ornery as all fuck trying to get what I need and finish up at my new house for the night.
We’re a playful lot, so while in an empty aisle he keeps grabbing my hand and pinning it squarely over his “area”.
Normally I would laugh and start chasing him down the aisle. (can you believe I’m 30 and not 12?)
However, this time, I’m irritable, I am NOT fucking amused, I yank my hand away several times, tell him to cut it out, that I would be mortified if anyone sees us, etc.
By now he is thoroughly amused, as men who like to kid around with cranky women are wont to be.
He repeats, I get to my last straw, and proceed to take my hand that he won’t let loose and SQUEEZE whatever’s in there.
SWEET JESUS IN A JETTA.
That man ** dropped to the floor**. You could hear the sound on his knees smacking the limoleum echoing, I swear.
He got tears in his eyes, was moaning, and could not move or speak for a minute or two. Hobbled for two hours afterwards.
Now, I still think childbirth’s gotta be a lot worse in terms of overall suffering, but I dare say there is nothing on a woman that would cause that kind of reaction from a hard squeeze.
I felt like shit and apologies just didn’t seem adequate.
I just didn’t know, y’know?
I sure as hell do now, though.
[teletubbies]Big hug!![/teletubbies]
hehe!
Okay, so maybe I deserve to be kicked in the nads just for that.
b.
Oh, hey, as for the OP, nobody should ever do that shit, huh?
No problem.
I am a little disappointed that we couldn’t have kept the debate going a little longer. I was kind of looking forward to giving examples of pain worse than childbirth and nad smashers.
Shards of glass under the fingernails while soaking in Panther Piss.
Shaving off your nipples with a cheese grater.
Laying in a tanning bed for 10 hours then pouring fire ants all over your naked body.
But since you admitted your exgagerations - never mind. 
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. We’ve known since the ancient greeks that that sort of thing is bound to happen when the uterus starts roaming around too freely inside the body.
Well, there’s worse, and then there’s worst. ::shudder::
bella–who had a 34 hour labor, but when it was finished never once insisted, ‘Well, that hurt worse than a kick in the nuts’
So I hear.
Diane, those Faces of Death videos could probably assist you in your list. :shudder:
Uh, okay. 
Little things always get editted out of history classes. Birth place of democracy, philosophy, hemlock tea, naked olympics, most tranquil columns, togas–but nary a mention of highly-mobile internal organs. Students are left to stumble into the more interesting facts on their own. It’s one of those failings of the educational system that just doesn’t get enough press.
For all the downsides of squishy internal bits surging around in response to smells, if testicles could wander freely then they could duck out of harm’s way. Then, this thread would not have begun, Funniest Home Videos would never have been even conceived of, every autopsy would be an explorational adventure which would have repaired some immensely tedious X-Files scenes, and the world in general would be a better place. Alas.
I’ve had damage done to my Happy Fun Balls™ only twice times by others, and I remember each instance vividly.
One was when I was walking up a street with a (platonic) female friend. All of a sudden, for no reason, she turns to me and punches me right in the schmoozlegibbers. She indeed thought it was funny, and I didn’t, walking bent over in pain.
The other time was in the library where my mother works. I was standing with a couple of my peers and out of nowhere one of the kids says “You know what would be funny?” Somebody else said “What?” and the first kid promptly kicked me squarely in the nards. The pain was so intense and unexpected, but I couldn’t scream (I was in a library). I let out a yelp nonetheless. Damn that hurt.
Striking people in the balls is only acceptable in desperate situations as have already been mentioned. Otherwise it’s just plain cruel.
No, Palve, no…
Not this thread again!
I gotta second Rysdad here having had both kidney stones and a kick in the nuts. In my case, the kidney stone was about a centimeter in diameter and was totally blocking the ureter. No way was that thing going to pass. And they had to do an IVP which added more fluid to my system, and thus more pressure on the stone. It would be more like having your nuts in a vise, and then having someone come by and tighten it. I can’t even say that the morphine helped all that much. I still hurt, I just didn’t care any more.
That having been said, there are all kinds of pain, and I don’t think comparisons are particularly useful. I had a tooth extraction which may have been more painful, but the pain only lasted a second or so. Someone else in this thread mentioned that his girlfriend ranked a tattoo on her ankle and kidney stones higher than childbirth pain, and I have heard other women agree (about the kidney stones, at least). Every person has a different threshold of pain, so who is to say that someone else’s pain is less than theirs?
A kick to the nads does really hurt… but its also not too effective.
If you do it hard enough (and testicles are pretty soft) you can rupture them both… the guy won’t be getting back up. But he will remember you. Also, the testicles are at a VERY easilly defended location, it takes very little to block a kick or a punch there. Usually shifting the pelvis and contracting your thigh muscles will deflect enough of the blow so it won’t both you.
But I’ll grant you that the balls are a very good place to start. If you land a blow there you’ll generate enough of an opening to finish the fight in a few seconds.
[public service announcement]
But I feel like I should point out that there are two types of fight. One is simply fighting until you hurt them enough that they stop. Bullies fall into this catagory. The other is a life and death situation, the guy is armed or there are more than 1 of them or they are taking some action that endangers their life. The first, just smack em in the face, solar plexus or kidney that’ll discourage them. Everything else, hurt them as much and as quickly as you can until they can nolonger pose a threat. Don’t fuck around, because most likely they wont.
If you really want to learn to protect yourself… Enroll in a martial art… Most types of Karate and Kung Fu can give you enough basics in less than a year to discourage the first group. And if you stick with it as long as they don’t have a gun you’ll be fine.
[/public service announcemen]
Oh and for the reccord, I’ve recieved a number of nad blows Accidently got too close to someone jumpkicking and caught that in the balls (more damage to my thigh thank god)… Whacked with a training staff in the balls yes that staff is really long… and I was too close. Fell through some lose deck boards… yes joices hurt… 24 lb cat jumping onto your lap… right on the little guys Missing a jump over a chainlink fence