I know it looks and sounds like an oxymoron. But I’ve seen several messages posted here regarding the secular celebration of the Christmas holiday. I don’t argue that it isn’t celebrated secularly as well as religiously, but why?
What does it represent as a secular holiday? What, exactly, are you celebrating?
The crass commercialism, the gift lists, the wish lists drive me crazy. I believe gift-giving should be a truly personal experience. If I want to get a gift for somebody, I’ll put some thought into it and try to select something I think that somebody will like - and it doesn’t necessarily have to be associated with a holiday. If I don’t know enough about someone to know whether or not they’ll like a gift, it’s probably inappropriate for me to give them one. And yet I am expected to participate in the Kris Kringle charade.
I know this comes across as a Grinch-like tirade, but I’m genuinely curious. I don’t begrudge anyone their holiday, I just don’t get the secular justification for participating.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
I don’t have a problem with people rampaging around, trying to buy “the” fad gift this season for the kids and wracking their brains trying to figure out what useless and unneeded gift to get for a relative–I just opt not to participate.
I do give my nieces and nephews some money, but I told my parents and siblings a long time ago not to expect anything from me, and not to waste any money on me.
Same with Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and birthdays. If I see something that I think would be a nice “gift” for someone, I buy it when the price is right, not when some date on a calendar says I should.
I’ve found that this time of year really brings out the worst in people. (I used to work in retail, and my wife still does.) I don’t celebrate anything about it. We buy gifts for our nieces and nephews, and I don’t think it’s a bad idea to have a gift-giving holiday (secular or religious) for kids. Trouble is, it’s completely out of hand, and is spreading to other holidays, Halloween, for example. Won’t be long before we’re fighting the crowds out buying their Flag Day presents.
Sheeesss…who’s holding a gun to your head and forcing you to over-splurge on presents?
Refuse to allow yourself to be shamed into playing some ridiculous potlatch game.
Some of the reasons I really enjoy the holiday at this time [give it whatever name you want]are personal and I’m not going to post them on a messageboard, but I’d be glad to share of the other reasons. They’ll sound sappy and sentimental, but the social sanctioning of sappiness and sentimentality is part of the charm of the holiday.
1- I get to see most of my family together again
2- it’s a real bitch to go to work in the dark and come home in the dark; the lights and decorations really brighten things up
3- even though we know it’s hypocritical as hell, to see all the charity some people extend to those whom they’d be perfectly willing to grind up and sell as canned dogfood the other 51 weeks; at least it is more than would exist without the holiday; similarly it provides a rarely granted social permission to act politely to strangers (I apologize to those in retail- I realize the permission does not extend to commercial areas)
4- I’m a history buff, I just find it neat to participate in something that has been going on for millenia, through all sorts of cultural and religious transformations and accretions; I don’t intend on breaking the string
5- the music [and before people from other threads jump all over me- I’m talking about in my own personal space; I definitely agree that, however beautiful, religious based carols do not belong in school or government functions], to me the music is just some of the best I ever hear- I’ve always been one who values music over lyrics- and when I’m through appreciating the music, I like to amuse myself by picking out the Mithraic references
Why do we buy gifts and send cards to our Mothers every year on the second Sunday in May? Why do we do all sorts of silly things and buy lots of flowers and candy on the 14th of February? Why do we shoot off lots of annoying and potentially dangerous firecrackers on the 4th of July (which is NOT the day our country was born)? Why do you buy diamonds to celebrate an anniversary of your wedding?
Can you say: marketing??
The Christian celebration of the birth of Christ has LONG ago been lost amid the commercially created celebration of the year’s end in this country.
I love the lovely emotions that celebrating the holidays brings–
Crying over Scrooge’s redemption for the 1000th time–and watching 5 different versions of “A Christmas Carol” every year!
Listening to Oh Holy Night and other hymns of praise
Laughing at Eartha Kitt’s Santa Baby and Grandma got run over by a reindeer and walking round in women’s underwear!
Buying gifts for people I love–something that I know they will like!
Seeing the excitement of Children
Going to the Christmas tree farm and riding a horse-drawn wagon to get the tree. Next year we might go to a farm with reindeer!
Putting up a tree with ornaments that have special memories–the cereal on cardboard wreath my baby made years ago, the ornaments given to me by a friend who recently died, the twinkling lights, the smells, etc.
Candelight ceremonies at church, sweet Christmas pagents with Children playing the holy family.
There are lots of things to hate too–crowds of shoppers, angry people who are frazzled and take it out on others, fruitcake (!), meaningless gifts you’re obligated to give, and required Christmas parties with people you don’t care for! Small price to pay in my opinion–a little bitter with the sweet makes the sweet even sweeter.
I am completely divorced from Christianity. But we’re relaxed about it. We’ve grown accustomed to the separation and are actually friendly and civil to eachother, there aren’t any more harsh feelings. Not on my side at least.
So, I still celebrate Christmas. I don’t attach any religion to it. I just ignore nativities, angels, crosses, and jesuses. It’s all the same to me. I celebrate christmas because it reminds me of happy times in the past, and because in the celebration, we have more happy times to remember in the future.
It would be nice if the nice feeling of the holidays could pervade our every day of life, but it can’t. The reason is, of course, because the nice feeling derives from being surrounded by family, and family leads disparate lives. So the holidays are good, because they mark a point where people get together and celebrate the love they have for one another, and the joy they’ve shared.
Is all of that so wrong? Whether you celebrate christmas or the solstice, you’re still doing the same thing. You’re being with the people you love.
But all holidays are “manufactured,” and I think the reason why is that we don’t take the time to get together, talk, laugh, eat like pigs, be happy, sing, hug, play games, give gifts, think of others, be unselfish etc. etc. etc. without an excuse. Sure, we intend to but, in the hurley-burley of day-to-day living, we just don’t. So we schedule it; we look forward to it the rest of the year (some of us), and we embrace it while it’s here. Some of us also celebrate the religious aspects of it, but many of us don’t. Holidays are occasions when people give themselves permission to have fun, and I think they’re marvelous – and Christmas the most marvelous one of all. Now, who wants a slice of roast beast?